Even though a few years have passed, Peter Billingsley is still know as the kid from A Christmas Story (1983). You know -- the bespectacled 9-year old in the 1950s, whose only Christmas wish is "a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass and this thing that tells time."
Hardly anyone saw it in theaters in 1983, but it has become a TV tradition -- TBS usually mounts a 24-hour marathon -- so you've probably seen A Christmas Story as often as the much gayer White Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life.
I don't really care for it. There's a creepy lamp shaped like a lady's leg in lingerie (that turns Ralphie on), a nasty bully, a borderline-abusive Dad, a gun as a major plot point, and no cute guys or discernible homoerotic subplots (although some of the cast has gay connections).
And the mythos hasn't gotten better.
.jpg)
In 2022, the gang was reunited for A Christmas Story Christmas: In 1973, the adult Ralphie returns to his home town to give his kids a "magical Christmas" and deal with the death of his father. The Christmas world is still entirely heteronormative.
This one is labeled "Peter's peter," but I imagine it belongs to someone else.
This one looks like him. I wonder if Peter is into BDSM? Maybe he should be punished for helping to inflict A Christmas Story on the world.
I don't really care for it. There's a creepy lamp shaped like a lady's leg in lingerie (that turns Ralphie on), a nasty bully, a borderline-abusive Dad, a gun as a major plot point, and no cute guys or discernible homoerotic subplots (although some of the cast has gay connections).
And the mythos hasn't gotten better.
The top photo is Braeden LeMasters, who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story 2 (2012). Six years later, Ralphie wants a car and the Girl of His Dreams.
I think it got worse.
In The Dirt Bike Kid (1985), a modern retelling of "Jack and the Beanstalk," the 14-year old Jack (Peter) is sent to buy groceries, but gets a magic dirtbike instead. He uses it to clean up the corrupt town, save a struggling hot dog stand, and become a town hero. He expresses no heterosexual interest, but no same-sex interest, either. He has a buddy (Chad Sheets), but his main emotional bond is paternal, with Mike (Patrick Collins), the owner of the hot dog stand.
In Russkies (1987), it's the heart of the Cold War, Danny (Joaquin Phoenix) and his friends Adam (Peter) and Jason (Stefan DeSalle) find a a Russian sailor, Mischa (Whip Hubley), washed up on the shore. Adam is obviously entranced by the beefy, bulge-laden Mischa, especially after he takes off his shirt at the doctor's office.
But it is Danny who acts as his friend and protector. He hatches a scheme to smuggle Mischa to Cuba, whence he could get back home. When the baddies shoot Danny down over the water, Mischa rushes to the rescue. Later, Danny rescues Mischa. Though the movie ends with Mischa going home, the experience changes Danny forever; it is his Summer of '42.
An anti-gay slur (this was the 1980s, after all), but no girls thought of or spoken of.
In The Dirt Bike Kid (1985), a modern retelling of "Jack and the Beanstalk," the 14-year old Jack (Peter) is sent to buy groceries, but gets a magic dirtbike instead. He uses it to clean up the corrupt town, save a struggling hot dog stand, and become a town hero. He expresses no heterosexual interest, but no same-sex interest, either. He has a buddy (Chad Sheets), but his main emotional bond is paternal, with Mike (Patrick Collins), the owner of the hot dog stand.
But it is Danny who acts as his friend and protector. He hatches a scheme to smuggle Mischa to Cuba, whence he could get back home. When the baddies shoot Danny down over the water, Mischa rushes to the rescue. Later, Danny rescues Mischa. Though the movie ends with Mischa going home, the experience changes Danny forever; it is his Summer of '42.
An anti-gay slur (this was the 1980s, after all), but no girls thought of or spoken of.
Left: Whip's butt and back balls.
In Beverly Hills Brats (1989), Scooter (18-year old Peter) is ignored by his rich father (Martin Sheen) and bullied by his siblings, so he fakes his own kidnapping, hiring the bumbling thugs Clive (Burt Young) and Elmo (George Kirby). The thugs are hostile at first, but soon come to feel sympathy for the lonely Scooter. Again, an anti-gay slur, but no expressed interest in girls. Instead, Scooter tries to reach out to the thugs for emotional support.
By this point, Peter was starting to muscle up; in fact, he later played a high school athlete abusing steroids on an Afterschool Special. But he also started to heterosexualize up.
Here he shows some bicep in VideoZone (1989), a tv commercial series about the merchandise advertised in Full Moon productions.
In The Break-Up (2006), Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn actually do the breaking up. Peter plays the husband of Jennifer's best friend.
In Beverly Hills Brats (1989), Scooter (18-year old Peter) is ignored by his rich father (Martin Sheen) and bullied by his siblings, so he fakes his own kidnapping, hiring the bumbling thugs Clive (Burt Young) and Elmo (George Kirby). The thugs are hostile at first, but soon come to feel sympathy for the lonely Scooter. Again, an anti-gay slur, but no expressed interest in girls. Instead, Scooter tries to reach out to the thugs for emotional support.
By this point, Peter was starting to muscle up; in fact, he later played a high school athlete abusing steroids on an Afterschool Special. But he also started to heterosexualize up.
Here he shows some bicep in VideoZone (1989), a tv commercial series about the merchandise advertised in Full Moon productions.
He appears in 11 episodes of Sherman Oaks (1995-97), an early example of the mockumentary format, as the hetereo-horny teenage son.
More after the break
He received a special thanks in the credits of the gay-angst Mysterious Skin (2004), but I don't know why.
In The Break-Up (2006), Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn actually do the breaking up. Peter plays the husband of Jennifer's best friend.
I can't find any gay content in his later work as an actorr (Four Christmases, A Case of You, Spider Man: Far From Home) or producer (Sullivan and Son, F is for Family, Christmas with the Campbells).
.jpg)
In 2022, the gang was reunited for A Christmas Story Christmas: In 1973, the adult Ralphie returns to his home town to give his kids a "magical Christmas" and deal with the death of his father. The Christmas world is still entirely heteronormative.
Peter is married to a woman, with two children, and searching on "gay" yields nothing.
I couldn't find a single beefcake photo, and only one or two n*de pics.
This one is labeled "Peter's peter," but I imagine it belongs to someone else.
Why did I start this profile, again?
This one looks like him. I wonder if Peter is into BDSM? Maybe he should be punished for helping to inflict A Christmas Story on the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment