I started watching Half-Man (2026), starring Jamie Bell as a sort-of gay guy who has a sort-of homoerotic relationship with his sadistic "half brother" (Richard Gadd of Baby Reindeer), but I had forgotten the intensity of Mr. Gadd's internalized homophobia -- until the depiction of same-sex desire as unrelentingly dark and destructive began. So I dropped it. What's so horrible about liking cocks?
Next, in search of light entertainment, I checked the nude celebrity subreddit: a morose white-haired young man sitting on his bed with his cock tree-trunking. In another shot, he's manipulating.
I was fascinated. What was the context? How could anyone be morose while doing that?
The caption said that he was Nicolas Hau, from the French movie Like Cattle Towards Glow (2015). You can't move toward "glow." It would have to be a glowing object.
A mystery to solve! Was it a bad translation, or an old folk saying changed to gibberish with the passage of time?
According to his IMDB biography, written by himself, Nicolas Hau "has collaborated with international directors and continues to develop a diverse body of work across film and artistic projects, with a strong interest in character-driven and visually distinctive storytelling."
This extremely pretentious bio is matched by two acting credits on the IMDB: the glowing cattle movie and The Aspern Papers (2018), based on the novel by Henry James: An American novelist wants to get the letters that Romantic poet Jeffrey Aspern sent to his mistress, but she has them sequestered in her decaying Venetian mansion.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers (left) stars. Nicolas plays the bisexual poet Lord Byron.
It grossed $9,700 in the U.S, and got reviews like "Awful!" "Pretentious drivel!" "Boring!"
Well, it's Henry James. What do you expect?
And Einar Wegener in Danish Girl. In 1920s Copenhagen, Einar develops a female persona named Lili, and with the support of his wife, gradually acknowledges a female gender identity. Lili was a pioneer in transgender history as the first person to undergo sex reassignment surgery. In the 2015 movie, she was played by Eddie Redmayne.
Nowadays Nicolas is mostly a model. His credits on Models.com include Vogue, the covers of Stylist and Beauty magazines, walking for Ferderico Curradi and Peuteray, "Bizarre Love Triangle" (behind a paywall), and whatever this is.
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The samples he uploads to his Instagram mostly show him looking bored and pretentious while hugging a semi-nude lady. This is one of the few where he's alone, putting on a Gaucho outfit for a shoot.
Turns out that Like Cattle Toward Glow (2015) is not French. It's a five-part independent film with an incomprehensible title, the vision of the American author Dennis Cooper.
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Like Cattle Toward Glow consists of five short films about gay teenagers who are drawn into "bizarre fetish play or sinister self expression," probably an interconnection of the desire for sex and the desire to eviscerate.
They kiss, look horrified at each other, have a sexual encounter that neither likes, and break up.
Next singer E.D. Yang starts crying in agony as he performs. He collapses onto the stage and shows his butt as a sinister young man approaches.
A depressed Valentin Putin engagesin oral sex and rimming with a dude, then walks away from some abandoned suitcases on the beach.
Luca Gabriel leads his depressed boyfriend into the woods, where some people dressed as hairy monsters force them to strip and masturbate.
The inevitable conclusion: it's not sex itself that leads to darkness and despair, it is the desire to do it with dudes.
Can't being gay, just once, be portrayed as positive and joyful?
Gay guys get to wake up to this every morning. What could be better?
Howard Cruse: Gay comics at their most depressing
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