Airport Chaplain: Rebel cop...er, chaplain, job squabbles, personal angst, and eight gay guys, some with cocks (Max has two)

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When Airport Chaplain (2026) popped up on my Netflix recommendations, I was curious: I didn't even know that airport chaplain was a job.  Who needs pastoral counseling when they're awaiting their flight to San Diego?  So we'll check out the first episode.

 We open with establishing shots of an an airport.  A hoodied person runs fast past Security Guard Ziv, who yells "Oi!  Stop, mate!"  I'm guessing this is England.  (Update: It's actually Australia) 

Gay Guy #1: Elias Anton (Ziv)  starred with Thom Green (below) in the queer romance Of an Age (2022). 

Left: Anton's backside.

Cute guy in the security station is monitoring the sitch. As the Chaplain gives money to a homeless person, he is notified of the runner and heads toward the International Terminal. 

He grabs the runner -- it's just a kid -- and calls off security.  The kid talks to him in Spanish -- which doesn't appear on the subtitles, darn it -- so the Chaplain runs off  to the the cleaner's trolley outside the Prayer Room, grabs a plush toy, and rushes back past Border Control without getting it scanned.  Border Control Johnny is hesitant, but Chaplain says it's an emergency.    

Gay Guy #2: Thomas Weatherall (Johnny), played a gay high schooler on Heartbreak High.

Gay Guy #3: Hugo Weaving (the Chaplain) is best known as the drag queen Tick in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) and Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movies.

The Chaplain gets the kid to his Buenos Aires flight (the toy actually belongs to his baby sister).   Problem solved.  So that's what airport chaplains do.  I figured they would, you know, pray with people.

I checked online: most large airports, even in the U.S., have full-time or volunteer chaplains. The fliers and their loved ones aren't just grumbling over the long lines and cancelled flights; they are often going through emotional crises, and need someone to talk to -- or pray with.  

Cut to the Chaplain in his office, with a real snake, stuffed birds, and drawings from kids saying thank you for retrieving their teddy bears. He's handling the case of Nino, who needs his flight re-booked because he wasn't allowed on the plane with his pet dog.  Maybe the Chaplain or his wife can look after him while he's away?  (Heterosexual identity established at Minute 5).

The terminal manager comes in to complain that he was canned for poor reviews.  He's old, but he doesn't want to stay home, with a wife who's always either "hot or angry." (Heterosexual identity established immediately.)

"By the way, the new Terminal Manager won't approve of rebel cops...um, I mean chaplains...who have unconventional methods and ignore the rule book."

Next, the Chaplain is called to the case of Alex Zhang, an Australian citizen returning from Shanghai.  His father died on the the flight, so the passengers are understandably upset.  The Chaplain calls Border Control Johnny to ensure that he gets through customs quickly, and Head Baggage Handler Lex to ensure that the body is taken to the holding area..  

Gay Guy #4:  Queer actor Erroll Shand (Lex) played a closeted lawyer in Outrageous Fortunes, and a gay prince in Our Flag Means Death and 

The Chaplain goes down to the holding area to comfort Alex, who is on an "I'm very important!" business call.  Not grieving much, are you , buddy?

He explains the procedure: get an ok from the coroner, then transport the body to a funeral home.  Alex hadn't thought of that.  Not on your ten-hour flight from Shanghai to Melbourne?

"So...um...were you and your father close?"

"Not really.  Pardon -- work call."

"Would you like me to...um...pray for him?"  

"We're Buddhist."  Chaplain takes that as an invitation, and says a Buddhist prayer over the coffin.

Back to the office, where Border Security Johnny is hanging out with -- and flirting with -- Nino the Dog Guy.

Gay Guy #5: Queer actor Nicholas Denton (Nino) played gay or gay-vague characters in Dangerous Liaisons and the vampire drama Talamasca. 

Chaplain has a solution to the dog problem: Crate him and transport him in the hold.  It will cost an extra $2,400 ($1,700 U.S.).

"Nope, can't afford it.  Besides, it would be cruel to crate him for such a long flight.

Uh-oh, Security head Sami calls Chaplain to the security room.  "Why did Border Control Johnny let you take that toy through security without scanning before?"

Arka Das (Sami) seems to be straight.

"It was an emergency."

"The new Terminal Manager is hyper-vigilant. Johnny will get written up, or even fired.  And by the way, I can't let you use security cams to research people's personal problems anymore.  I'll get written up."

Next crisis: Alex, the one with the dead dad, is sitting at the baggage carousel, not picking up his stuff. Chaplain asks what's wrong.  He starts crying.

Gay Guy #6: Max Brown (Alex Zhang) played the king's dresser on the period drama Downton Abbey.  He hooks up with Rob James-Collier.

Turns out that Alex was overcome by grief earlier, and trying to distance himself with work calls.  Plus Dad's body shouldn't go to the funeral home.  It's a Chinese tradition to pray and say goodbye over the deceased loved one at home.

Chaplain makes the arrangements, and drives Alex home, where a young woman, an old woman, and some Buddhist nuns are ready for the prayers.  Alex doesn't mention a wife or girlfriend, so the young woman must be his sister.

More gay guys after the break

The Testament of Ann Lee: The origin of the Shakers, with a female Christ, energetic dancing, gay guys, and a lot of male nudity

In high school I read Escape to Utopia by Everett Webber, about Icaria, New Harmony, and the many other attempts to create a perfect society that sprang up in 19th century America. They were usually founded by a reincarnated Jesus Christ, or God himself (or herself).  Most were communal, sexually adventurous, and, at least according to Webber, wacky.

The Koreshans believed that "we live inside," on the concave surface of the cosmic egg, even after the Messiah Cyrus Teed failed to come back to life three days after his death.

Thomas Lake Harris and the Brotherhood of the New Life worshipped Lady Pink Ears, queen of the rabbit fairies.

The Shakers practiced a radical separation of the sexes (men and women could never touch each other) and regulated everything (climb out of bed on the left side, with your right foot hitting the floor first).  Their energetic dance-worship drew the attention of many ghosts, iincluding Founding Fathers George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, who chatted with them and recited poetry.

Could we go back to the "never touch a woman" rule?  

I read more about the Shakers later, and visited one of the restored Shaker Villages, Sabbathday Lake in Maine.  And last night I saw The Testament of Ann Lee (2025), a sort of musical biopic about the founder of the Shakers.

Yes, it has gay interest.

Ann Lee was born in Manchester, England in 1735, and went to work in the cotton factory when she was five years old.  She had seven siblings, but she was only close to her younger brother William, who followed her everywhere.

She longed to be close to God, but didn't know how.  The rituals in the Anglican Church were meaningless.  Women were not permitted to learn to read, so she couldn't consult the Bible.  All she knew was that a barrier of some sort kept her broken, unable to experience Divine Love.

One night Ann saw her father (Willem van der Vegt, left) having carnal relations with her mother.Points for showing all of Dad's body and none of the wife's.  

 It was a sordid, bestial act; she imagined the Serpent tempting Adam in the Garden of Eden.  The next morning, when Ann called him out on his sin, he beat her.  

Years passed, and  the young adult Ann took a job as a cook in an infirmary, where she was overwhelmed by human suffering.  But she also heard about the Shaking Quakers or Shakers, a radical group that believed that God was male and female,so men and women had equal access to the Divine. 

One night she and her brother William attended a meeting.  The Shakers trembled uncontrollably as they confessed their sins to the group, and then as they were overwhelmed by the joy of God's forgiveness.  They also performed energetic, intricately-choreographed dances.  I imagine that these were not historically accurate, but they are worth the price of admission.

Ann and William had found a home.

  

More after the break