Erik Hesse: Immensely hot Short Guy from Reading, PA, with bad fashion taste, a job hugging athletes, and an eight inch tripod

 Another day, another internet rabbit hole.

The celebrity penis site posted this photo, reputedly of ice hockey player Blake E. in the locker room, shoving his semi at his teammates.  So I researched him.

No social media presence, just his stats: Born 1998 in Macomb, Michigan, 5'9", 181 lbs, a hockey player for the Royals in Reading, Pennsylvania (the one with the railroad in Monopoly).

He looks nothing like the real Blake E.  I think he was identified as a prank.  

But who is the hunky short guy with the farmboy innocence and a 1950s haircut?  If Blake is 5'9", he must be 5'8".  Forget the five feet, let's talk about the eight inches.

He's journalist Erik J.  I don't like to give the last names of non-actors, but it's German, for an inhabitant of Jesburg, Hesse.  So I'll call him Erik Hesse. 

Erik grew up in Lansdale, Pennsylvania, a commuter town about 25 miles from Philadelphia. In high school, he played baseball until an injury forced him off the team.  He was also a sports reporter for the Knight-Crier. 

He attended Temple University in Philadelphia, graduating a year early, in 2023,  with a BA in Media Studies and Production.

Left: Temple University Campus Recreation.  Do you choose one, or take all four, or...

While at university, Erik worked as a server at the Texas Roadhouse and an anchor for OwlSports.

Left: I couldn't find any Temple students in my files, so here's one from Ursinus. 

More after the break

Erik and the guys. But don't get excited: his other guy-hugging photos seem to be for the purpose of interviewing athletes.  

Hugging athletes for a living?  Tell me more.

Since 2023, Erik has been the Director of Communications and Broadcsting for the Reading Royals ice hockey team, where Blake E. is a player.  It's about 40 miles from Lansdale.  Dude stays close to home.

Staying close to home instead of running away to a gay neighborhood, an intense interest in sports, only a few personal guy-hugging photos.  I'm getting the impression that our Erik is straight.

There's something about a straight guy in a suit....  

Well, not when the suitcoat is too small, and he buttons the middle button.  Dude is definitely straight.

That's worse: a dumb burgundy suitcoat clashing with a blue tie? You should ask someone to give you some fashion tips.  

I volunteer.  First question: do you hang left or right?

Not exacttly eight inches, but it will do the job.

Much better.  Now can we work on that silly hairstyle? You'll have to get naked again....

See also: Ruben Reuter: the wacky drug dealer of "Pushers," "Lord of the Flies" Percy, Channel Four journalist, Short Guy with a d*ck

Ethan Wacker: The former teen spy, Bizaardvark manager, and Vanderbilt fratboy looks good in a suit. And out of a suit.

The naked press bro on the bus with "The Girls on the Bus"

Off Campus: Hannah must choose between a hocky star with a nice butt and a bad boy with tats. Plus a gay bestie and fratboy cocks