The celebrity penis subreddit has done it again, with some gifs of a guy I've never heard of, naked, his dick flapping around. It's a little washed out, but if you look closely, you can see that it's easily two handfuls.
And why is he chained to the bed?
The scene is from The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009), which has gay or bi characters: Ex-cons Vic and Danny (Martin Compston, Eddie Marsan), who became boyfriends in prison (it's canon: they kiss), kidnap Danny's ex-girlfriend Alice to hold her for ransom. After a lot of plot twists, character reveals, and double-and-triple crossing, the guys shoot each other, and Alice keeps the money. Sounds horrifying.
The nude scene: While Vic is out, Alice seduces Danny and chains him to the bed, but he escapes.
I'll check for the usual:
Question #1: Any other gay roles?
Martin was born in 1984 in Greenock, Inverclyde, Renfrewshire, on the River Clyde about 25 miles west of Glasgow. Beautifully evocative name. I can almost hear "The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond":
By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond
He attended St. Columba's High School in Gourock, Inverclyde, but left after Year Four (like junior year in the U.S.) to join the Greenock Morton Football Club. When he was 17, he went to open auditions for Sweet Sixteen (2002), to be shot in Greenock, and he was cast as the lead: Liam, a teenager unwillingly drawn into the ned (hoodlum) subculture. He dreams of buying a caravan and moving away with his mother and sister, but he ends up dealing drugs, forced to kill one of his friends, and murdering the other. No heterosexual interest mentioned in the plot synopsis; at least a gay-subtext, maybe gay. Things are looking up for Martin.
He went on to 64 acting credits, most in British productions not available in the U.S. (He says that he tried moving to the U.S. to reach a wider audience, but hated it and only lasted two weeks). Well, I hated Britain, too, except for York and Manchester.
I'm not going to check all of them, just those that he says he's famous for, or that have titles suggesting gay content (so not Strippers vs. Werewolves, Loose Women, or Ice Cream Girls).
Mike O'Shea in Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006): In a flashback to 1986, friends Mike and Dito (Shia LeBeouf as a teen, Robert Downey Jr. as an adult) are working as dog walkers for Frank, a gay drug addict (Anthony DeSando, straight in real life). Geez, are all gay men sleazoids? They plan to move to California together, but a gang member accosts them in retaliation for a guy Dito murdered earlier. Mike is killed, and Dito moves to California himself for the rest of the story. Given that Shia is extremely homophobic, I doubt that there's a gay subtext here.
Joshua in Doomsday (2008): A future Scotland, quarantined because of a deadly virus (wait -- that's 28 Years Later). A team is sent from London to look for survivors who are immune, and run afoul of feudal lord Kane (Malcolm McDowell). Joshua does not appear in any plot synopsis or review.
DS Steve Arnott in the police procedural Line of Duty (2012-21). DS Steve has been transferred to the the Anti-Corruption Unit from the Anti-Terrorism Unit, and is not happy. According to the fan wiki, he is a "flirty Casanova" in Series 1 and 2, before settling down with a steady girlfriend, who dumps him. Later he has relationships with Sam and Steph (gay tease: they're both women).
So mostly straight roles, and the gay and gay-adjacent roles are homophobic, presenting gay men as decadent, deviant outsiders. I don't think Martin is gay, but I'll check.
After the break
Martin's Instagram has virtually no girl-hugging photos, and a lot of hugging and kissing guys. Usually Gordon Smart, the co-host of his Restless Natives podcast. They interview celebrities, discuss Scottish politics, and investigate what we would call "roadside oddities" in the U.S.
Here they visit Germany's highest mountain, Mount Wank. It's pronounced Vank, meaning "wobbly" or "teetering," not masturbation, but the signs are regularly stolen by giggling British tourists.
On their Instagram, Facebook, and Threads, they celebrate the birthday of: "The Gaffer! The glue that holds this shitshow together! The dancing queen of breakfast telly. The Water Wanker! Baby Reindeer himself!"
Sounds like the guy is gay, but who is he? They don't give his name.
He looks nothing like Richard Gadd, who starred in the tv miniseries Baby Reindeer. After some research, I found the real gaffer on the show: Adrian Dunbar, 67 years old. It can't be him, either. I'm stuck.
But the guys are obviously a gay couple...wait, both are married to women. Are they just pretending to be romantic partners, or are they bi?
My guess: Just pretending.
Question #3: Any other nude photos?
As far as I can tell, just a blurry side butt while sexing a lady.
This was rather disappointing. But at least Martin has a big dick.
Left: His Alice Creed co-star Eddie Marsan, who is also straight.
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