"That 90s Show": Ozzie comes out, teen boys try out a hot tub, and there's pot-smoking. Plus Ashton Kutcher's cock

  

I only watched a few episodes of That 70s Show (1998-2006), but I saw enough to know the basic plot: a group of high schoolers, nerdish Eric Forman and girlfriend Donna, prettyboy Kelso and girlfriend Jackie, rebel Hyde, and foreign exchange student Fez, gather in Eric's basement to smoke pot, hook up, and make fun of Fez for being nonwhite and gay-coded (although actually heterosexual).  

Left: Grown-up Fez, played by Wilmer Valderrama.

I only remember one gay reference: they give a guy two tickets to a rock concert, and he shows up with a same sex date!  The guys are disgusted, but Donna says "It doesn't bother me."   Apparently there's another episode, with Eric "mistaken for gay." but I never saw it. 

The sequel That 90's Show (2023), fast forwards to 1995, when a new group of teenagers led by 14-year old Leia hang out in the iconic Forman basement.  They don't smoke pot -- this is the pot-phobic 90s -- but they hookup.  And this time diversity has reached Milwaukee: there are three non-white and one gay character, Ozzie, played by Reyn Do.  I reviewed the episode where he comes out.

Scene 1:  Ozzie is setting up a computer for the Grandparents.  Grandpa Red complains.  Grandma Kitty is excited but clueless.

Scene 2: In the iconic basement, Prettyboy Nate (Maxwell Acee Donovan) is showing Girlfriend Nikki an ad for a free hot tub.  "But it's contaminated with other people's juices!" she complains.  "Until we contaminate it with our juices!"  Hey, that's dirty! 

Meanwhile, Focus Girl Leia tells  Hunk Jay (Mace Coronel) that she wants to be "just friends."  He is distraught. Plot complication: she's actually interested, but too shy to admit it!

Fan plot dump: Leia is the daughter of Eric and Donna, and Jay is the son of Kelso and Jackie, all of whom have guest spots on at least one episode.  Hyde is never mentioned, as actor Danny Masterson is currently incarcerated on a rape conviction, and Fez appears regularly as a swishy but heterosexual hairdresser.

Wait -- When That 70s Show ended, it was 1980, naturally, and this is 1995.  Those girls mst have gotten pregnant at the wrap-up party.

Scene 3: Up in the kitchen, Ozzie explains to Focus Girl Leia that he's planning to come out to Grandma Kitty, as Step 7 in his 16-step coming out plan: first strangers, then people he doesn't see often, then people he sees all the time, and finally his parents.  In the 90s you didn't come out to anyone, ever, so this is quite ambitious.  

Scene 4:  Prettyboy Nate and Hunk Jay go to investigate the free hot tub. 

Nate: "This is better than that time we found the nude beach...until we saw my coach doing lunges."  Jay: "This is what my life feels like right now: a sandy, saggy sack."  Hey, are they talking about his testicles?

They play "vagina hands": they put their hands together, open them up, and Jay shoves his face inside and ..um...hey, that's dirty!

The elderly lady who owns the tub suggests that they try it out first.  

Cut to the three of them in the tub in bathing suits.  She proceeds to flirt.  They are uncomfortable. Hey, writers, the actors are over 18, but the characters are 14 or 15-years old.  This isn't funny, it's cringey.

Ozzie comes out after the break

Scene 5:  Leia wants to talk to Grandma Kitty about "a friend."  

She responds: "Oh, I had a lot of 'friend talks' with Eric.  His 'friend" got a rubber band stuck on his privates."  Kitty is telling Leia that her father, as a teenage, put a rubber band around his genitals so he could maintain an erection longer?  What teenager does that?  Who would tell their granddaughter about it?  

Leia is cut off before she can tell what she really wanted to talk about: Ozzie's coming out.  But Grandma Kitty assumes that Leia intends to have sex, and anxiously calls her mother Donna.

Meanwhile, everyone else is gone, so Girlfriend Nikki and Riot Grrrl Gwen decide to smoke pot. I guess there has to be pot smoking after all.

Later, Ozzie and Grandma Kitty are working on the computer, when Leia's mother Donna bursts in.  So they live nearby?  Why is Leia staying with the grandparents?  She brought "condoms, jellies, sponges, and the ugliest underwear I could find."  

Leia can't tell her mother that she's not intending to have sex, or everyone would want to know the real secret -- Ozzie's coming out -- so she goes along with it.  Ozzie plays along: "Leia is obsessed with sex.  She's drawing penises everywhere."

Scene 6: Having finished their pot, the girls wonder what they can do next.  Girlfriend Nikki: "There's something I usually do with my boyfriend, but I think it would be more fun with you."  Psych -- it's not sex, it's dressing up in glamorous costumes!  

Meanwhile, Mom Donna is giving Leia the "sex talk": "when a nay-nay's been in a na-na, it can't go in a hoo-hoo."  This lady brought an assortment of prophylactics for her daughter, but she discusses sex with baby-talk terms? 

And back at the hot tub, the elderly lady is giving the boys advice on how to handle a lost love. 

 Suddenly her granddaughter bursts in and yells at her for tricking boys into taking their clothes off.  The hot tub is not really free after all.  "But I have a free bed upstairs, if you'd like to try it out."   Beefcake shot as Hunk Jay climbs out.  Prettyboy Nate has his back turned.

Scene 7:  Ozzie and Focus Girl Leia in her bedroom, discussing how his coming-out moment is always being hijacked. "Why did you tell my Mom that I was constantly drawing penises?"Leia asks.   "I panicked, and that's what I was thinking of."  

Scene 8: Grandma Kitty and Ozzie in front of the computer, which is oddly on the coffee table rather than on a desk.  Finally time for the coming out moment: "I'm gay...I have a boyfriend in Canada."  That's funny, when I was in school I had lots of girlfriends in Canada.  

Kitty grimaces: "I don't know how I feel about this."  Ozzie cringes.  Psych!  She means the Canadian boyfriend.  What about Ozzie being gay?  "Oh, that...of course I'm fine with it."  They hug.

Scene 9:  The two pot-smoking girls are feeling guilty. "Did we..have fun?"  "Twice."  Hey, they had sex after all!  They agree to never mention it again.  

Ozzie says that his next step is coming out to his pediatrician. Leia decides to tell Hunk Jay that she likes him, but it's too late: he's dating the perv lady's granddaughter!

Scene 10: Grandma Kitty catches Grandpa Red on the computer. He tries to cover the screen.  Is he watching porn?  Yes, sort of: a photo of 1960s it-girl Raquel Welch.  Kitty is happy that he's using the computer.  The end.

Beefcake: Apparently Hunk Jay takes off his shirt a lot.

Gay Characters;  In other episodes, Ozzie doesn't do much besides make sarcastic comments, but the show is about Leia, so he's lucky to get one centric.

Sex:  There were many more dirty jokes and innuendos than I expected, some rather cringy for young teens.

Bonus:  Ashton Kutcher, the original pretty boy, displays his penis.

And his butt. 

See also: The Outlaws: Adam Devine has a crush on Pierce Brosnan