Pitch Perfect (2012) is comedy about dueling a capella choirs. I didn't even know that a capella groups were a thing, but wikipedia lists dozens of them, and Music Grotto ranks the best groups (#1 is Pentatonix). Regardless, if it's about music, there's bound to be some gay characters.
Scene 1: An all-male a capella choir, the Barden University Treblemakers led by Bumper (Adam Devine), performs "Don't Stop the Music" at Lincoln Center, to rousing applause!
In the booth, the judges discuss how perfect they are for the International Championship of Collegiate A Capella Groups (I want this to spell something dirty, but it doesn't), and how all the ladies in the room are hot for them. Ugh, heterosexism in the first second: the only reason a man does anything is to get ladies.
They perform some cool moves. Bumper does a "sexy man-split", struts for the fangirls, and insults the next group: an all-female choir. They're the first girl group to get this far in the competition because, according to the judges, girls just don't have the range. I think we're supposed to condemn the judges for being sexist.
Dressed like 1960s stewardesses, the Bellas sing a snoozefest song. Then one throws up. Projectile vomiting in the first five minutes! Yuck! The judges actually like this: it add excitement to their act.
Scene 2: This must be a flashback. Beca takes a taxi to move-in day at the stately, ivy-halled university. She meets her new roommate, who hates her from the start, even more when she brings out her DJ equipment.
Meanwhile, the hunky Jesse (Skylar Astin, left) meets his new roommate, Benji (Ben Platt, below), a Star Wars nerd and amateur magician. To his credit, Jesse doesn't insult him. (Ben Platt is gay in real life, so maybe his character is gay).
Scene 3: The Activities Fair. Hunky Jesse tells Magician Benji that the hottest club on campus is Bumper's A Capella Group. It's what being a man is all about. He points to where Bumper is asking passing girls if they want him to whip it out. But they're sexist jerks!
Meanwhile the head Barden Bella rejects a girl because her boobs are inadequate. More sexist jerks! She only wants "super-hot girls with bikini bodies who can harmonize and have perfect pitch." Her assistant suggests maybe recruiting girls who can sing, like Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson). Yes, she calls herself that.
Scene 4: An incredible hunk in a swimsuit is passing out fliers, but Beca ignores him. Maybe we're supposed to conclude that she's gay?
She stops at a booth called the Barden DJs, since she wants to be a DJ, but it's actually a group for Deaf Jews, har har.
Head Barden Bella tries to recruit her for the Bellas, but she refuses: it sounds tremendously lame.
Meanwhile, Nerd Benji is desperate to join the Treblemakers, but Bumper says no. But Bumper's singing changed his life! Maybe they could hang out sometime? Nope: "The smell of your weird is affecting my vocal chords." Dude, pick someone who doesn't sneer all the time. Your new roommate seems nice.
Scene 5: Beca finds a campus radio station that plays funky alternative music. Wait, she has a job there. On move-in day? Turns out that Hunk Jesse works there too. Time for a meet-cute? Nope, she hates him. Station manager Luke (Freddie Stroma, left) tells them that, as freshmen, they can't go into the DJ booth; their job is to sort CDs. Ugh!
Scene 6: Dad wakes Beca up. "You've been here a month, and still no friends? Geez, I thought it was the next day. "Get with the program." "I work at the radio station?" "With those weirdos?" He forces her to join a student club.
She heads to the shower room (fortunately, we don't see anything.) Surprise -- she's being stalked by the Bella Aubrey, who gets way too close as she importunes Beca to join. Ok, ok, just get your hands off my junk!
Scene 6: The auditions for all four a capella groups at once. I guess you sing for all of them, and we can watch Bumper insulting more people.
The host, Kolio (David Del Rio), specifies that this is not a high school club, where you "can sing and dance your way through any social issue or confused sexuality." Ok, that's homophobic, claiming that gay people are "confused." "This isn't high school, it's real life." I get it: gay people do not exist in real life.
The auditions are mostly awful. I expected Beca to nail it, but she does a weird thing with clapping and a cup. Everyone is shocked by how awful she is, but she's in anyway. Almost everyone who auditioned gets in.
More a capella after the break
Scene 7: The membership rituals. The girls have to "drink the blood of the sisters who came before us" -- not real blood. Then they have to pledge to "never have sex with a Treblemaker" (Bumper's sexist group). Shouldn't be hard to do.
The boys just get drunk. Darn, I thought they were going to do some hazing, like paddle the guys in their underwear.
Then they all gather at an amphitheater in the middle of the night, and speculate on which of the Bellas is a lesbian. Hunky Jesse tries to flirt with Beca, who responds positively.
Bumper and his sidekick discuss who would be easier to sleep with, Captain America or a Great White Shark. Rather homophobic: gay sex is so gross that they'd rather take their chances with a shark.
Fat Amy approaches. Bumper says "You are the grossest person I have ever seen. I have a feeling we should kiss." Really? But you said...
She rejects him. Geez, Bumper could get a Ph.D. in jerking. But he's still one of the hottest guys on the planet. And kissing him will shut him up.
Nerd Benji (Ben Platt, left and below) did not pass the audition, and stays in the dorm room, being lonely.
Scene 8: In the morning, the Bellas meet. Any girl who allowed herself to be penetrated by a Treblemaker is fired. Beca is shocked by this rule.
Later, Jesse and Beca hang out. He is shocked to discover that she doesn't like movies -- any movies -- and sets out to remedy that.
Scene 9: At the amphitheater, they have a "riff-off." Category: Ladies of the 80s. The Treblemasters sing "Mickey, You're so Fine," but a mixed group cuts in with Madonna's "Like a Virgin." And like that. The Bellas lose, but Beca still thinks it was awesome.
Left: Ben butt
Later, Beca and Hunky Josh go to her room and discuss her mash-up tape. Then they watch Breakfast Club and gaze into each other's eyes. Just kiss her, Dude.
Scene 10: Regionals. A group performs with sock puppets. Then the Bellas perform in their 1960s stewardess outfits, The judges complain that they're not nubile enough. The Treblemakers, with Hunky Josh as the lead, perform "You spin my head round when you go down," which I think is dirty. They win,
Later they insult an old-guy group (one member is Donald Faison from Scrubs). who counter "Just because we graduated a few years ago doesn't mean we can't work our oral magic." Tell me more, tell me more. They get into an (actual) fight; Beca intervenes and gets arrested.
Hunky Josh bails her out, but also calls her Dad -- an unforgiveable offense. They breakup.
Later, the Bellas meet. Beca thinks they should take risks, be different, change the face of a capella. Then she catches herself: "That sounds so queerballs. What's happening to me?" So now Beca is homophobic? I'd expect her to be an ally.
Scene 11: The Semi-Finals. Luke, the hot radio station manager, asks Beca out on the same night. Bummer!
While Fat Amy is pumping gas, Bumper tosses a burrito at her, ruining her outfit. This guy just doesn't stop, does he?
Beca tries some new moves, outraging the other Bellas. They argue. Hunky Josh tries to intervene. More arguments. Beca quits, and is miserable.
I'm out of space, I'll stop there.
Beefcake: Except for the swimmers at the Activities Fair, nothing.
Gay Characters: Justin (Jacob Wysocki, left) is rather femme, but doesn't get much screen time. Nerd Benji seems to be crushing on Bumper, but I understand that in the sequel he gets a girlfriend. Beca gets a girlfriend in the sequel, too, but here she's totally in love with Josh.
Heterosexism: Other than the Jesse-Beca romance, not much.
Homophobia: The "confused sexuality" dig. The "Captain America vs. shark" dig. "Queerballs," which has various meanings in The Urban Dictionary, all approximately "That's so gay."
Music: The music is good, but I have a hard time caring about a capella. I'm more of an instrumental guy.
Bumper's Comeuppance: He doesn't get one. Instead, he gets a good job as a back-up singer for John Mayer, and his own spin-off series, Bumper in Berlin. So no punishment for being an irredeemable jerk?
My Grade: B.
Bumper in Berlin, Episode 1.3: Bumper saves the day by doing everything wrong
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