N*de photos of Noah Beck have been sitting in my "to profile" folder for two months. It's hard to get enthusiastic about profiling someone when you've never seen him in anything, and aren't even sure if he's an actor. All I know is:
Instagram: Noah's taglines are "Do what makes you happy" and "sideline the QB and me," so maybe he's a football player. Or is dating a football player.
Posts show him boating, going to Disneyland, cooking, jumping on the bed, modeling a pink shirt, and telling us what he ate today (several times).
No pictures of men or women, at least not in the first two hundred posts. That's usually a sign of gay identity, but we already know that he's gay from being Harry Jowsey's boyfriend's ex, so his Instagram is useful only for its beefcake images.
Wikipedia: Noah was born in 2001 in Peoria, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, about 13 miles from downtown. He graduate from the Real Salt Lake Academy, which trains professional soccer players (presumably you take academic subjects, too); then he attended University of Portland for a year before dropping out due to COVID isolaiton.
He is a content creator, specializing in dances and humorous skits, with 33 million TikTok followers.
He also owns a gender-neutral underwear brand called Iphis (top photo). In Greek mythology, Iphis is born female but raised as a man so she can take the throne. When she falls in love with a woman, she is horrified by the "monstrous" lesbian desire, and asks the gods to make her a "real man." They do. Transgender affirmation, or a paeon to universal heterosexual desire?
The IMDB: Eight acting roles.
A guy who dumps his girlfriend on an episode of Side Hustle (2021).
A shirtless soccer player who flirts with a girl on an episode of Doogie Kamealoha MD (2023).
A more substantial role on an episode of Doctor Odyssey (2025): Steve (Noah) looks uncomfortable when his buddy invites three bikini babes into their hot tub. Just when you conclude that he's gay, it turns out that he suffers from a disorder that makes him...um...finish at the slightest stimulus: a big problem on a date or even when trying to meet a girl.
I've been with thousands of men, again and again. They promise the moon.
They're always coming and going, and going and coming,
And always too soon -- Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles
Fortunately, it's an easy fix with medication that the doctor prescribes.
These are all heterosexual roles, Noah. I'm starting to wonder if you're gay after all.
The trailer shows her getting advice from a standard romcom gay best friend played by Drew Ray Tanner, bisexual Fangs Fogarty on Riverdale. Plus gay actor Jake Foy is in the cast list. So maybe there's a same-sex romance on the side.
More after the break