Weapons (2025), on MAX: in the stereotypic small town of Maybrook, Pennsylvania, 17 of the 18 children in a third grade class disappear from their beds at exactly 2:17 am. Security cams show them sneaking out of their houses and running into the woods, with their arms out like they're pretending to fly.
I thought this was going to be a mysterious disappearance with no solution movie, like Picnic at Hanging Rock, but there is a solution: we find out what happened to the kids at the end. Before that, we see the effects of the tragedy on five people:
Justine
The teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), and the surviving kid, Alex (Cary Christopher), are interrogated, and their houses searched, but they have no clues. They had no idea that it -- whatever it was -- was going to happen.
A month later, still with no clues, Justine speaks to the parents at a memorial assembly. She swears that she has no idea what happened, but they don't believe her. "You did something to our kids!" the parents yell.
It doesn't help that she's an alcoholic who picks up booze every day on the way home, she picks up strange men in bars (well, to be fair, I do that, too), and she was fired from her last job for inappropriate behavior with a child. Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong) decides that it would be best for her to take a leave of absence.
One of her hookups is the Cop Paul (Alden Ehrenreich, top photo), who is trying to get clean and sober and stop cheating on his wife, but she gets him drunk and seduces him (no beefcake).
The principal has forbidden her from contacting the traumatized surviving kid, but she starts staking out his house. Weird -- the windows are covered with newspaper, and when she snoops inside, she sees his parents sitting on the couch, motionless, like zombies, Alex yells for her to go away, but she continues the stake out. She falls asleep in her car, and a lady in scary clown makeup bursts in and cuts off a lock of her hair.
Archer
Construction worker Archer (Josh Brolin) is sleeping in his missing kid's room and mourning their loss (I thought it was a girl due to their long hair, but it turns out to be a boy, Matthew). His wife insists that he go to work, so he heads to the house he's building. The construction crew is having problems: no sodding, and the door is painted the wrong color, darn it! One expects him to start yelling, but he queitly puts the red paint in the back of his truck to exchange later.
Next stop, the police station, where the Chief says they have no more leads, so stop coming in every day.
He checks the security cam footage of his child leaving, and notices that he's moving in the direction of the radio tower. Maybe it sent a signal? He asks the other parents for security cam footage of their kid,s but doesn't get very far.
Left: Josh butt.
Then he sees Justine at the gas station/liquor store, and decides to ask her some questions. But while they are talking, Principal Marcus comes rushing up, his arms spread as if he is flying, his eyes all white, and attacks her! Archer tries to help, but the guy is incoherent, like a zombie.
Paul
Cop Paul happens to be the son-in-law of the Police Chief (Toby Huss) -- and he didn't get the job because of his qualifications. They discuss how his wife is coming back early from her trip, and then he goes to work.
Uh-oh, a long-haired guy, James, jaywalking -- better follow him! He runs, so Cop Paul gives chase. He finally catches the guy, handcuffs him, and starts searching his pockets -- uh-oh, a needle prick! He's so outraged that he pummels James into unconsciousness -- with the dashcam recording everything.
When James regains consciousness, Paul lets him go -- but don't come anywhere near the police station, or report the assault, or you're dead!
Back at the station, Paul asks his Police Chief father-in-law what to do. He suggests getting checked for HIV, and forgetting about the video. In 30 days it will vanish, so as long as James doesn't report, he's clear.
James
Crack addict James (Austin Abrams. the one with the curly hair) calls everyone he can think of to beg for money, but they've all had enough. He steals some things to pawn, but the pawn broker won't give him enough. He breaks into Survivor Alex's house, and finds his parents, sitting like zombies. Thinking "they must be high," he tries the basement, and finds the basement, the missing kids, standing still, lifeless, like zombies.
There's a $50,000 reward for finding them! He calls the police and asks about the reward, but they want him to come to the police station.
As he approaches, Paul sees him, gives chase, and attacks. "But I know where the kids are!" he exclaims.
Paul drives him to the house, and leaves him locked in the police car while he goes inside. Hours later, he returns, his movements shaky, his eyes white, and drags James in with him.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit.
Marcus
Principal Marcus and his boyfriend Terry are grocery-shopping ("Babe, what kind of cereal do you want?"), when Justine calls to warn him that something wrong is going on in Alex's house. He promises to call the parents in.
Left: the Boyfriend is played by Clayton Farris.
Instead, the Scary Clown Lady comes in, explaining that the parents are too sick to leave the house, but as Alex's Aunt, she is qualified to make decisions. That's no good -- the parents have to come in, or he'll call Child Protective Services.
Cut to Principal Marcus and his boyfriend wearing Mickey and Minnie Mouse t-shirts as they prepare to eat hot dogs and watch tv (the nature show they're watchng gives away the plot). The Scary Clown Lady drops by, and after determining that he hasn't called CPS yet, snips a lock of the boyfriend's hair, wraps it around a twig, and breaks it in half. Marcus goes all zombie and beats Terry to death.
Then the Scary Clown Lady wraps Justine's hair around another stick, breaks it, and off he goes, arms flailing, to the gas station to attack her.
After he is subdued/killed, they head to the hospital, discussing how bizarre this all is. Archer notes that his arms were flailing in the same way as the kids leaving their houses. There must be a connection.
Alex:
Alex is an outcast boy, ignored or bullied by the kids at school.
Left: he's bullied by Archer's son, the femme Matthew. Not to worry, actor Luke Speakman assures his fans that he is actually anti-bullying, and he and Cary Christopher became good friends during filming.
To make matters worse, his Aunt Gladys will be staying with them indefinitely, because she has nowhere else to go.
She is the clown-makeup lady. She turns his parents into zombies, giving him the job of feeding them, and cautioning him not to mention her presence, or she will make them kill each other. She is apparently feeding off their life force -- it's not really clarified -- but they aren't enough. Maybe some young kids? So she has Alex steal something from each child -- the name tage from their storage bins -- and Aunt Justine snaps some twigs and brings the chlildren to her to live off their life force. And Alex has to feed them all?
When Cop Paul and James are caught, Gladys realizes that others will come, so she orders Alex to pack -- they'll leave in the morning. But then Archer and Justine burst in, there's a lot of fighting, and Alex figures out how to get the kids to turn on Gladys -- 17 rampaging child-zombies chasing her through people's houses...
Gladys is probably not Alex's great-aunt, as she is immeasurably old, but we're never told if she is a human being using witchcraft, or a supernatural being pretending to be human-ish. The director gave actor Amy Madigan the choice, but never asked which she was playing.
Beefcake: None. But here's a nude photo of James (Austin Abrams), and a potential Eric Jepson, who plays a cop.
Heterosexism: None.
Gay Characters: Marcus and his boyfriend appear in two scenes before their deaths, and are presented with utter nonchalance. Actually, they're the most positively-portrayed couple in town.
I thought one of the kids was a girl, but he turned out to be a femme boy -- maye he's gay, too.
Weapons: Not a great title. I guess the zombies can be weaponized?
The Explanation: Rather mundane. I would have preferred it left up in the air.
My Grade: A-.
See also: Euphoria Episode 2.3: Two high school boys in love in the 1990s, followed by gay/bi affairs. penises, and Brock O'Hurn
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