"Surreal Estate," Episode 1.1: Realtor and his scoobies investigate haunted houses, with gay characters and a lot of n*de Matt Whites

  


Surreal Estate (2021-23), on Hulu, appeared on Reddit about shows with "normalized" LGBT characters, not struggling to come out or fighting homophobia.  None of the episode synopses suggest gay characters, and the icon shows a man and a woman, but here goes, Episode 1.1









Scene 1:
 Night. A man in a 1940s detective costume walks through a thunderstorm to a creepy house. The sign says "For Sale by Owner." 

Inside, it's too dark to see much, but a woman in a bathrobe seems to be reading an antique book on human anatomy.   She gets scared when the surgeon in a photograph seems to be grinning evilly at her.  Suddenly the room catches on fire (at least we can see something now).  She runs outside, but runs into the Old Fashioned Man.  

Psych!  He's not the ghost of a 1940s detective, he just dresses like one: Luke Roman (Tim Rozon of Schitt's Creek), interested in the house.  So call in advance?  

She hugs him: "The house wants to kill me!"  That's every home owner's complaint, girl.

He can help with that.  They gaze into each other's eyes.  I'll be they start dating, and she joins the paranormal real estate team.

Scene 2: At Shirley's Diner, still too dark to see much, Homeowner Megan, says that her fiancé is coming to pick her up.  Don't you hate it when they mention a boyfriend halfway through the date?

Luke shows her a video about his company, SMEP, Specialists in Metaphysically-Engaged Properties, those with a market value depreciation due a tragedy occuring there.  Sometimes they are haunted, sometimes not, but the rumor makes it lose 37% of its market value and takes 317% longer to sell. 

Megan's swishy boyfriend Brock (Matt White) flounces in with a teeth-click, a flamboyant wave of his umbrella, and a "What up, Girlfriend?"  Shouldn't be too hard to convince him to be true to himself, so you can have Megan for yourself.  


Matt White has nine acting credits on IMDB, including six shorts,and three walk-ons.  This may not be the right one, but there are lots of other Matt Whites to choose from: a baseball player, a football player, an artist,  a musician, a comedian, and a billionaire.



















Left: Matt White d*ck


Scene 3
: At the agency, Luke tells his scoobies, two men and a woman, about the case.  Homeowner Megan is a medical student who inherited the haunted house from her grandfather.  Swishy boyfriend lives with her (in his own room, I assume).  

On to otheir other case, a house with a poltergeist. It came out clean: no entities.  But Rita, the Evil Realtor who hired them, insists that things were flying around.  Nobody wants to confront her because she's so evil, so they get the New Girl to do it: a ringer who got $10 million in sales at her last agency.  

Introductions:

Father Phil (Adam Korson, right), a defrocked priest with nice biceps, does the background checks and due diligence.

More after the break

Chase Carlson: Bodybuilder, gay adult video performer, Power Ranger, but no movie or tv roles. Who's complaining?

 


This picture appeared on the Male Celebrity Tumblr: Chase Carlson holding a rather light dumbbell.  Never heard of him, but it was a  celebrity site, which means actor or singer, and I doubt that he's a singer. 










He has 269,000 followers on his Instagram. He says that he wants to become a Power Ranger, but he doesn't appear on the cast list of any Power Rangers tv show.  










In fact, Chase's only credit listed on the IMDB is in Killian Knox show (2022-23), which appears to be gay adult entertainment.  Max Lorde (left), Troy Daniels, and Gunnar Stone also appear.






What else do we know about Chase?

He's won three super-heavyweight titles.

He lives in San Diego.

He is a spokesperson for Meat athletic wear and Mr., a HIV prevention pill.







According to his Facebook page, he grew up in Oskaloosa, Iowa, and graduated from high school in 2009.

A Chase Carlson registered with Mayhem Modeling in 2011, stating that he was interested in acting, stuntwork, runway modeling, fitness modeling, hair/makeup, lifestyle, and hosting.  

Probably not: he gives his height at 6'1", and our Chase is 6'4".

Weight 165, and  our Chase is 331.

Shoe size 10", and our Chase is.... 


More after the break


A new, improved batch of Adam Devine beefcake, bulge, and butt photos. With maybe a d*ck or two.


I thought I had seen every butt, bulge and cock scene in every one of Adam Devine's movies and tv shows, but nope, there are more.  I'm not even going to think of clever comments; let's just get to the goods.

1. From the Righteous Gemstones Season 4 trailer.  Kelvin gets up off his knees and tells Keefe: "This our world now. We can do what we want."  I have  pretty good idea what he wanted, but the question is, did he swallow?



2.  Adam wigggling his jelly roll in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.  Wait until you see Zac Efron's bulge later on!










3. Adam as Adam, with a snake and an apple.  I'm not sure about this one.  Butt looks a little too hairy.










4. A very young Adam sports a blatant bulge.













5. A side butt in a hospital gown in Workaholics.













6. Hey, who let the gay guy from Bumper in Berlin in here?












More Adam, Ders, and Tony after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.4, Continued: Patricide, cake, and frolicking muscleboys. With a n*de wrestler bonus.



Previous: Gemstones Episode 2.4: BJ gets baptized, Baby Billy gets Funyons, Kelvin gets dissed, and Harmon gets a cat.  With Israeli and Egyptian men

The Baptism After-Party: An elaborate affair, with many humorous set-pieces that reveal the inner state of the characters:
 
Levi, the only single member of Jesse's crew, dances joyously by himself amid dozens of pink balloons.

A life-sized BJ cake, so you have to cut slices out of his head. 

The outraged Kelvin chooses two cupcakes, carefully removes the pins, places a napkin on top of them, and splat!

Jesse and Amber seethe with rage as Eli dances with a lady.

Eli tries to be friendly to BJ's family, but Judy interrupts him: "They're from Asheville.  They hate God."  "Yes, but God loves them."

When BJ enters in his shiny pink "romper with a cummerbund," his family criticizes him for being feminine, but he counters that men can wear one-pieces.  Then they complain that he is a child, a little baby, not a man at all. (Notice the parallel with Kelvin constantly trying to prove that he is a "fully-grown adult man.").  He's ridiculous, the Gemstones are ridiculous, he's ruining his life.   BJ rushes back to his dressing room and tears off the outfit (some momentary beefcake).

Since when does Eli Gemstone like ladies?;.  As the party is winding down, Kelvin and Jesse meet at the baptistry and discuss how Eli always ruins their plans, "I wish I could fight that man!" Kelvin exclaims.  "I'd destroy him...make him look like a fool."  Eavesdropping, Baby Billy notes that he's wanted to fight Eli many times over the years.

Kelvin tells him that Eli has been having sexual encounters with "multiple somebodies"  Jesse continues: "Dude fancies himself a damn cocksmith...trying to make himself into a big character for the ladies." Interesting that Jesse specifies women, but Kelvin does not.  Women just don't pop into his head when he thinks of sex. 

Baby Billy finds this hard to believe. "Eli Gemstone...with the ladies?"  Why, when you were young, was he just into guys?

All women want to screw their brothers: Judy accosts BJ's sister KJ in the ladies' room, claiming that "siblings have to hate siblings' spouses."  Jesse and Kelvin hate BJ, because he "took her off the market," made her unavailable: "They may be my brothers, but that don't mean they're not sitting in their room at night, thinking they might someday get to hook up with me." Does she not know that Kelvin is gay, or does it not matter?  

KJ protests that Judy's theory is "disgusting": she would never hook up with her brother.  "Well, what if I held a gun to your head?"  Then she might consider it. "I knew it!" Judy exclaims in triumph. "BJ is mine!  Stop fighting me for him!"  


The Fist Fight: 
As Keefe passes out the food he stole, Kelvin seethes and bursts balloons,  and KJ complains that the Gemstones are a "train wreck" of a family, BJ throws a piece of cake at her -- which hits Eli just as he is schmoozing with a senator!  "You kids are an embarrassment!" he exclaims.  

As Eli leaves the party, Kelvin appears to yell  him about the Judean desert trip: "You made me look like a fool in front of my men." 

"I'm not spending one cent so you and your muscle boys can frolick in the desert!'   Frolick is feminine: Eli believes that Kelvin is planning an homoerotic orgy in the desert.  Referring to them as muscle boys, not men, enrages Kelvin, and he attacks.  

The two have a fist fight in the foyer of the church, with everyone watching, Keefe and the musclemen doing a chest-pound display of loyalty.  Kelvin throws one of BJ's gifts at Eli: he ducks, and it smashes a picture of Aimee-Leigh.

"You could have killed me!"

"I wish I had!" Kelvin cries.  Wait -- killing your father, hooking up with your siblings.  This episode is overloaded with Freudian symbolism. 

Eli pins him in the thumb-breaking position and demands an apology.  Kelvin refuses, and taunts that he doesn't have "the balls" to actually follow through. A call back to Eli's testicle injury in Episode 2.3, a symbolic castration that has rendered him impotent. 

But Eli does it!  I suppose I don't need to point out that in Freudian theory, the thumb is a stand-in for the penis, so Kelvin's broken thumbs represent  yet another symbolic castration.  But this time it is the father who performs the castration, rendering his own son impotent. 

More after the break