Gideon's Prayer Time is at 11:00 am Wednesday! Who's free at that hour except nursing-home oldsters? And College of Charleston students, I guess. Watching Gideon Gemstone reading off notecards the same words he has written on a powerpoint slide.
It's stupid of me, but when I saw him at the Prism party yesterday, smiling, unconcerned about the many LGBTQ people around him, I figured he must be gay. And beautiful, with a round face, light blue eyes, a slim, tight physique obvious even under his uncomfortable-looking Sunday suit.
I feel like a total language geek, but I'm a Classics major, taking a seminar in Catullus, so can I help it if he popped into my head:
Equal to Jove that youth may be
Greater than Jove he seems to me
At the sight, my senses fly.
I needs must gaze, and gazing, die
Yesterday Ricky pulled my jaw off the floor and told me that he was Gideon Genstone, Kelvin's nephew. And he was standing right next to his grandfather. I'm not going to approach a guy standing next to world-famous evangelist Eli Gemstone!
Who am I kidding? I would be too shy anyway.
Prayer Time has certainly proven that Gideon is no Jove. The existence of God, his omnipresence, the expiatory sacrifice of Jesus Christ, all in 45 minutes of stumbling theological jargon, with the conclusion: "love one another"!
I'm having second thoughts about my gaydar. Gay guys never become ministers - with Kelvin an obvious exception. Gideon never comes to Prism, even as a guest speaker. I've never even seen him with Kelvin and Keefe. Surely if their nephew was gay, they would hang out.
He's looking at me! He made direct eye contact! Of course, I'm probably noticeable, the only Asian and only person under 90 in the audience. Still, doesn't that mean something?
"You can stay or you can go, but it's over." Weird way to end a service -- not even a closing prayer. I stand behind the oldsters so I'll be the last one out, and I can start a conversation.
He's smiling -- a good sign. I shake his hand -- warm, firm, sexy? "Hi, I'm Clay Chang."
"Gideon Gemstone. It's good to see a young face at Prayer Time."
"It was an interesting presentation. A lot of complex theology."
"Yeah...um...you don't have to be nice on my account. I knew I screwed up."
Confiding in me? Must be because we're the same age? "No, it was fine. You just need some instruction on homilectics." I refrain from telling him that "homilectics" means "preaching." "I took a class my sophomore year at Charleston Southern -- thought I was going to be a preacher." I hesitate. He looks at me quizzically. Do I dare put my hand on his shoulder? "I have my old class notes back in my apartment -- I can bring them by the church later, or if you want to have lunch..."
"Sure, lunch sounds great," he says with a smile.
Suddenly I'm feeling hot. My heart is racing. "Ok...um, so meet me in an hour. Do you want to go to Dudley's? They're serving lunch now."
He frowns. Because he doesn't know that Dudley's is a gay bar, or because he knows, and isn't gay?
Think of an alternative, fast! "Or...um..the Brown Dog Deli, on Calhoun?"
"Ok, Brown Dog Deli in an hour." We face each other. I can't stop grinning. What do I do now? Hug him? Kiss him? He seems to be having the same dilemma. Suddenly we both laugh, and he reaches out for another handshake.
"Bye."
KelvinDriving to my apartment, digging out my notes, doing 100 push-ups so I'll have a chest, showering, deciding on a hot but not slutty outfit, driving to the Brown Dog...that leaves six minutes to rush down Kelvin's office next to the Prism Prayer Room.
No books except for several copies of the Bible; no desk, just a serpentine-slide thing that looks like a throne; and a lot of exercise machines: our guy likes to work out during his office hours. Right now he's doing bicep curls -- huge biceps! I see them three times a week, but I still can't take my eyes off them. Except to look at the enormous club-bulge in his gym shorts. Is that real or augmented by a balled-up sock?
"Clay, My Man!" he exclaims. "Sit down! How's that paper on Catullus coming?" How does he remember all the details of everyone who goes to Prism?
"Fine, I guess. Still stuck in the introduction. Actually, I stopped by because I need your advice."
'That's what I'm here for, Boyo. What's on your heart?"
"Um...the thing is, I'm having lunch with Gideon in 53 minutes."
"Who...Gideon Gemstone? My nephew Gideon?" He looks surprised. Too surprised. "In the market for a new spiritual leader?"
I smile. Kelvin is jealous! "No, actually...um...I'm not sure whether it's a friend hang or a date. I don't even know if Gideon is gay."
This is the part where Kelvin tells me "Of course he's gay." He would know, right?
But Kelvin frowns. "I'm afraid I can't help you there. I have no idea about Gideon. He mostly keeps to himself -- we've never had a heart-to-heart talk. I've maybe said ten words to him in the last year, and four of those words were 'Happy Birthday!' and 'Merry Christmas'"
My heart sinks. Why would Gideon be gay and not confide in his uncle?
"Does he ever bring a friend to the family dinner?"
"Not that I can remember. Wait -- there was a guy named Scotty, a couple of years ago, came out from California to visit Gideon, and stayed for two or three weeks. They were, like, together every moment."
"A boyfriend?"
"I don't know, but he turned out to be a crook. He robbed the church's Easter offering and left Gideon and his Dad tied up in the vault." He pauses. "Come to think of it, that's the last person outside the family that I've seen Gideon with."
My six minutes are over. I thank Kelvin, steal anouther peek at his biceps, and rush out.
The Brown Dog
Gideon orders the Susan Hayward Salmon Salad. I always get a Coney Island Chili-Cheese Dog with fries -- it's the Brown Dog Deli, right? But I don't want to stain my shirt, or get onion on my breath on the off chance that there will be kissing later -- so I order the Soup of the Day.
He reads aloud the list of required textbooks from my homilectics class: "Contemporary Preaching, Comedy Preaching, Preaching to People with Disabilities, Homilectics from an Asian-American Perspective..." Ulp, he skips over A Queer Homilectic. "I like the Week 1 Lecture: 'Skip the slides, or at least use them well.'"
"Yeah, the idea is that preaching is different from lecturing to a classroom. You're trying to reach people's hearts, not their heads."
"Sounds like you were very good at it."
"I just got a B+. In my family, anything under an A++ is considered a failure."
"Is that why you tranferred to the College of Charleston and became a Classics major?"
"No, I just fell in love with Latin. Ovid. Apuleius. Virgil's Eclogues. Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin." Oh no, it's about a guy named Alexis in love with the beautiful shepherd Corydon. Why did I quote that? What if he asks for a translation?
Saved by the bell: our food arrives, giving me a chance to change the subject. "My parents wanted me to major in business and like sit in an office all day, talking about stocks or something. They really didn't like my decision to major in classics -- dead languages, and not even Asian! They had this image in their head of me with a wife and kids, a house in the suburbs, mowing the lawn, barbecuing, fixing the rain gutters.
"I had the same problem. My parents wouldn't let me be me. They had this image of me as a perfect little church boy. When I was 18, I ran way to California, and didn't talk to my dad for a year."
A moment of connection! I reach out and cup my hand over Gideon's. He draws away. Because he's not gay, because he's not into me, or because he needs his hand to hold his fork?
I pretend not to notice. "What brought you back to South Carolina?"
"I've been going back and forth. A few months in L.A., then a few months at home. I'm not sure where I belong. Maybe I don't belong anywhere."
Gideon is lost, and lonely. Gay or not, maybe he just needs a friend.
We eat in silence for a few minutes. Then: "Are you busy tomorrow?"
Tomorrow night? Like a real date? Maybe he just needs a boyfriend! "I have a seminar in Apuleus at 10:00, but I'm free after that."
"My Uncle Baby Billy is filming at tv show about Jesus as a teenager. They're doing it campy, like a modern day high school."
I know -- I've dated the guy who plays Teenjus. But I tell Gideon. "That sounds interesting."
"Want to drop by and watch a rehearsal tomorrow? We could get dinner later."
He is definitely describing a date!
I spend the rest of the day vaguely listening to professors lecture and my roommate drone on about some video game, while thinking about Gideon. Hopefully he's a bottom -- he's so soft and slim, sort of femme, he's got to be a bottom. Not that I would mind going downtown....
More after the break
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