Joe Mande: The incredibly gorgeous Ben on "Modern Family" writes for tv shows that I don't like, shows his dick but not his chest.

Ben (Joe Mande) is introduced in Modern Family Episode 6.17 (2015) as the shy, beset-upon marketing manager at Pritchet's Closets and Blinds, where Jay's daughter Claire has just taken over as boss.  He returns in four episodes of Season 7, mostly to be the butt of jokes.  Lives with his mother?  Owns a cat?  What a loser!  

Claire holds the "little suck up from marketing" in utter contempt, but keeps him around because he will do anything she asks, such as performing "mom" duties so she can pretend to have the perfect work/life balance.

Jay's wife Gloria thinks so little of him that she can never remember his name, although she knows everyone else who works at the company, even the guys in the warehouse.  

 

In Episode 8.12, Ben notes that he has a crush on Claire's adult daughter, Alex.  He doesn't expect her to reciprocate, since he's a total loser, not good enough for her -- or for anyone, really.  He doesn't deserve to have friends or a romance.  But Alex is into losers, and a guy who lives with his mother, owns a cat, works in closets, is constantly ridiculed by everyone, and is over 40 ("actually, I'm 26"): "kiss me!"  

Maybe she is attracted to losers like Ben, Alec (John Karna), Teddy, Sanjay (Suraj Patel), and Arvin (Chris Geere, below) because they are so easy to control, belittle, diminish, and feel superior to.  

She spends four more episodes in Season 8 and two in Season 9 having fun ordering Ben around, making jokes at his expense, ridiculing his interests, and having sex with him in ways that ignore his needs.

Finally Ben can't take the constant rejection, and finds a woman who actually likes him.  When Alex finds out in Episode 9.5, they break up, and he is never mentioned again.

I kept thinking, what the heck is wrong with these people?  Ben is gorgeous, with that round face, expressive eyes, d*ck-sucking lips, and scruffy beard. At 5'9", a member of the Short Guy Brigade.  And always wearing a business suit!  When he was on stage, I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything else.

So let's try a profile.  

Question #1: Gay in real life?  No: he's married to the "beautiful, kind, funny, supportive, warm-hearted Kylie Augustine," and apparently a devotee of Hooters. 

Question #2: Any gay content in his movies and tv shows?

Joe was born in Albuquerque in 1983, went to high school in Minnesota, and received a BFA in Writing from Emerson College in 2006.  He began doing stand-up comedy in college, and moved to New York after graduation to go professional.

 His first film role is in Yeti: A Love Story (2006): five college students go camping.  Joe goes off into the woods to pee and gets skewered.  The others are killed, but not by a yeti, by a weird cult.  The male yeti is a good guy, who rescues Adam (Adam Malamut).  They fall in love.  I can't tell if it is homophobic or not, but Malmut is straight in real life, and according to one review, "incredibly annoying."

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.