Merrick Hanna: The God of Heterosexual Desire has 345 billion social media followers. Do they like his dancing, his acting, or his d*ck?

 

I don't know who Merrick Hanna is, but he has 6,000 photos on the teen idol site, including some shirtless.  Obviously straight: 90% of the photos show him with a girl.  Usually he's just standing there, grinning with delight at being the object of worship, while the girl hugs, kisses, duck lips, licks, fondles, gropes, and gazes at him, or sticks her tongue out to demonstrate that she's much better than the rest of us poor mortals, the consort to a god.

But it's not just worship: the girl takes the initiative, forcing him to belly dance and bake a cake.  They appear together at formal events, spin for Christmas, eat hamburgers, fight monsters, claim to be serial killers, go on rides at Disneyland. 

I should have dropped him as a potential profile right away, but I was fascinated.  Usually there are only a few photos with the girlfriend, or at most half of the collection.  Here they go on and on and on.  Why go through the trouble of having someone take and post hundreds of photos of your girlfriend worshipping you?  

Here's one where he's alone.  She must be taking the photo.

If I go back about a year on his Instagram, I run into a period of photos of Merrick alone or with guys, but then it's back to being hugged, kissed, fondled, and licked by a previous girlfriend,  Or maybe the same one?

What is this guy famous for?  I mean, you can't just worship someone out of nowhere.  He's got to turn water into wine or feed 5,000 people, or at least be hung, right?

Google says that he's "a talented dancer known for his flo-bot style," which he showcased on TikTok beginning when he was 12 (so in 2017).   Currrently he has 32 million followers and 718 million TikTok likes.

According to the IMDB, he's competed on AGT, SYTYCD, Das Supertalent, and Lip Sync Battle Shorties.  I imagine that if I was in his main audience, I would know what those shows or competitions are.

He began acting in summer productions of Much Ado About Nothing and A Winter's Tale with the Intrepid Theatre Company in Victoria, British Columbia (2014, 2016), and moved on screen with some music videos and short films in 2017.

Some teencoms followed, like Sydney to the Max and Team Kaylie.

More after the break

Playing Edward in two teen soaps in the Brat Universe, Attaway General (2020-23) and Mani (2019-22).   Edward is a Goth boy, something of an outsider,  who gets a girlfriend.

I did a profile of someone on Mani, but deleted it due to low pageviews.

According to the IMDB, Merrick is best known for:

Alienated (2021): Male OCD scientist and female artist (who is an alien in disguise) fall in love.  Merrick plays the OCD scientist as a teenager.

Dumb Money (2023): Keith (Paul Dano), Kevin (Pete Davidson), and their friendss get rich from the videogame store GameStop. Merrick plays Skit Guy

Left: Keith and Kevin sans clothes.

Holly & Jolly (2023): Girl and robot (Merrick)

Merrick's most recent tv appearance was in two 2024 episodes of The Really Loud House.  He plays Scotty, a drama club kid and mime who wins the Girl of His Dreams, in this case Luann Loud.  After their kiss, he is never mentioned again.  

I didn't really expect any gay content in the work of someone so obsessively heterosexual.

Although he is seated on Mount Olympus as the God of Heterosexual Desire,  Merrick is not homophobic.  He calls himself the "boring straight brother," and Garrett Clayton the "fabulous gay brother." 

Um...actor singer Garrett Clayton was born in Michigan in 1991, and Merrick in San Diego in 2005.  I don't think they're biological or adopted brothers.  Nor have they ever appeared in a movie or tv show together.  Maybe they're buddies?

But Garret is gay, having come out in 2018 and married Blake Knight in 2021. 

There's an extensive discussion of Merrick's junk on LPSG.  It appears that God of Heterosexual Desire is very well hung.

Wait -- here's a page with "a memorial to a great talent."  Is Merrick dead?

No, he's alive as of this writing.  I guess some people are so great that they get memorials while living.

See also: Searching for gay-subtext buddy-bonds on "The Really Loud House." With gay Dads and a heck of a lot of backsides

Swiss Army Man: Boy Meets Corpse.  With Paul Dano.

100 Things To Do Before High School: New Nickelodeon Teencom with Major Hunkage.  With Garrett Clayton 

Ryan Masson: Gay actor with one gay role and then "girls! girls! girls!" all the way down. With his d*ck and a bonus Zack Robidas