A bail bond service will pay your bail, so you can stay out of jail while awaiting your trial. If you don't show up, the service loses that money, so they hire a bail bondsman to track you down. Regulations differ from state to state, but generally bail bondsmen cannot carry guns, enter property without permission, or use force to arrest the bail jumper.
Left: Kevin bulging in 1980
Scene 1: Night. A pick-up truck drives down a desolate highway in rural Georgia and stops at the Holiday Hotel -- the kind where the rooms open right onto the parking spots, where you used to stay before the Holiday Inns took over.
The Bondsman looks at a photo of his target, - wraps his gun belt around his waist (nice crotch shot) -- and bangs on the hotel room door.
Left: Kevin's cock in 2005.
The guy inside yells for him to "F*ck off," so he he puts a hornet's nest in the air conditioning duct, and when the guy rushes out, nabs him.
But he's not the target, he's Billy Earle (Daniel Norris), who's supposed to be in prison.
The tip was a fake, to lure him to the hotel! Billy's brother appears out of nowhere and shoots the Bondsman across the parking lot, then slits his throat. He dies a very bloody death. Wait -- if it was a set up, why did Billy hide out inside the hotel room? Shouldn't he be waiting to ambush the Bondsman the moment he gets out of his car?
Left: Kevin's buns.
Scene 2: The extremely dead Bondsman comes back to life, interred behind the dry wall in a hotel room. He pushes through and examines the gaping hole in his neck. Better start wearing ascots, buddy.
Tater (Mike Kaye) comes in, talking on the phone about how hardcore the Earle Brothers are, and his parents are starting to charge him rent. He screams; the Bondsman knocks him to the ground.
He explains that the Earle Brothers hired him to burn down the hotel for the insurance money, but he didn't know there was an undead body inside.
The Bondsman handcuffs him, shoves him in the trunk of his car, covers his neck hole with duct tape, and drives away.
Scene 3: The Bondsman driving recklessly down a two-lane highway. I guess if you're dead, it doesn't matter. He arrives at Halloran Bail Bonds, located in a gas station in Landry, "a fictional town brimming with cases of demonic possession"
Phone message: He' s joined the Pot o'Gold Corporate Family. Pot o'Gold is the title of the episode, so it must be important.
Leaving the whimpering Tater in the trunk, the Bondsman goes to the bathroom and checks his neck hole -- it's healed.
Scene 3: He rushes over to the house across the street and tells his Mama that he needs to find the Earle Brothers right away -- "Ugh, what's he doing here?" It's Pastor Ron (Dave Macomber), who kicked Mama out of the church. She can come back, if the Bondsman stops detaining skips during the services. Are there a lot of bail jumpers who go to Sunday services in Landry?
Mama: The Earle Brothers got out of jail; their bail was posted by Lucky Callahan, who is dating the Bondsman's ex-wife. Mama hates the "damn Yankee"; she won't have her grandson raised by a Boston Red Socks fan! So Lucky posted the Earle Brothers' bail and hired them to kill the Bondsman just so he wouldn't get back together with his ex? That's a big grudge.
Scene 4: Dang it, let Tater out of that trunk! The Bondsman forges Lucky's name on an arrest warrant. Another robocall from Pot o"Gold! He unplugs his phone, but they are calling all of his cell phones, too.
Next the Bondsman puts some murder and body-disposal tools in the trunk with Tater and drives to a nightclub, The Boxcar ("Hog Roast Hoe Down Next Week!"). Lucky's car is outside: "Boston Red Sox Fans."
The joint is huge on the inside. Ex-Wife Maryanne (Jennifer Nettles) is singing "When Will I Be Loved," by Linda Ronstadt:
I've been cheated, been mistreated. When will I be loved?
I've been put down, I've been pushed 'round. When will I be loved?
She sings the entire song -- the high point of the episode.
Suddenly Hub spots Red Sox Fan Lucky, and follows him through the kitchen, past the line cook (Brandon Alston, left) into the back:
More after the break
"Hey, Shitbird. Surprised to see me? Thought I was dead?"
Red Sox Fan Lucky (Damon Herriman, left) gasps and stutters, but before the Bondsman can pulverize him, the grandsone that Mama mentioned, Cade (Maxwell Jenkins), comes in, praising Mom's backup band. He found them on TikTok. No beating up the perp now, buddy.
Her set finished, Ex-Wife Maryanne comes in, hugs her son and Lucky, and insults the Bondsman.
Left and below: Max Jenkins, right, is best known as the young Will Robinson on the Lost in Space remake (2018-201). He's now 19 years old.
Scene 5: In Maryanne's dressing room, the Bondsman criticizes the wannabe Lucky: nobody in Georgia wears a cowboy hat. And by the way, he's a killer. He's dangerous.
Maryanne: "You're wrong. He's sweet."
She wants the Bondsman to sign some papers so she can take their son to Nashville to work as her stage hand.
Scene 6: Red Sox Fan Lucky has already left, to go to the Earle Brothers' poker game, so the Bondsman follows. On the way, he passes the Methodist Church, and sees Pastor Ron with his eyes lit up. Demonic possession?
Outside the Earle's house, the Bondsman opens the trunk to ask Tater if Lucky ever came to one of the Earles' pocker games -- nope - and give him a puff of a cigarette. Then he pulls a gun on a third Earle Brother, Tiny (Gunner Willis). He realizes that it was a trap: they drove Lucky's car to the house, so he would follow, and they could kill him.
Hub ties Tiny up and forces him inside the house, then accosts the other Earle Brothers. They are angry because he was dead; he has some nerve coming back to life. Now they won't get paid! He forces them to text Lucky and say they need the cash now, or no murder.
Scene 7: After a scene of Red Sox Fan Lucky and Ex-Wife Maryanne discussing how much they love each other, we cut to the Bondsman and the Earles waiting for Lucky. Uh-oh, Pastor Ron from before -- the one who kicked Mama out of church -- appears, and kills the Earles with magic . The Bondsman runs into the woods and hitch-hikes a ride home.
Mama and a lady from Pot O'Gold are waiting for him. She explains that he died and went to hell, but got a reprieve due to the Pot O'Gold program. He has to hunt down demons who escaped, and bring them back. She did it before she got promoted to supervisor. The end.
Beefcake: The Bondsman takes his shirt off.
Heterosexism: Obviously he's divorced so he can get back together with the ex-wife.
Gay Characters: None. Google AI says that there's a gay character, Cosmo Khan (Jay Ali), who appears in two episodes, so I checked. Cosmo is a recruiter for Pot O'Gold who drives around in a 1970s van with his hippie wife, Sunshine. Straight.
Buddy-Bonding: None. I expected Tater to become the Bondsman's assistant, but the guy leaves him in the trunk for 24 hours! He's finally rescued by Lucky, and becomes the Big Bad's henchman. It's all kind, nurturing women and nasty, murderous men.
My Grade: I liked the setting and the music, and I understand that there'll be a lot more: Aimee-Leigh Gemstone and Ren from Footlose singing together! We'll also see the back stories of the Bondsman and his supervisor, so that should be interesting. B.
Bonus: Kevin and Chris Penn kicking off their Sunday shoes. Yes, they were boyfriends.
See also: Kevin Bacon's bacon, with Billy Crudup, Mickey Rourke, and others.
Justified, Episode 1.1: Kentucky cowboy has a gay-subtext romance with an unhinged thug. With Damon Herriman.
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