I'm not posting about Workaholics too much, you're posting about Workaholics too much. But Episode 5.1 is amazing. There are no gay characters, there's a homophobic slur, two of the three guys express heterosexual interest, there's a straight porn movie in one scene and two straight people having sex in another. And Adam leaves his shirt on. How could all that be gay-positive?
Scene 1: The guys are preparing to watch the "biggest night in Hollywood." They hope it will be better than last year, when it consisted mostly of people "sucking each other off" on the red carpet. Hey, it's not the Oscars -- it's the Adult Entertainment Awards! Adam comes in with snacks -- breast-shaped cakes for the guys, and he gets a chocolate penis.
Scene 2: Discussing the results at work. Adam guessed right in every category, even Best Dong-umentary (12 Inches a Slave won). He explains that he has a "pornographic memory" -- he never forgets a dick. What a coincidence, I like to look at dicks, too. Do you also like s*king them?
On to the episode's premise: Ders is being sent tothe North Rancho College Job Fair to recruit college grads (to be telemarketers?). He can bring some assistants, but Adam and Blake are out -- they'll just bail, leaving him to do all of the work alone. Of course, they talk him into it, and the moment they hit the campus, they bail.
Ders' Adventure: He starts attracting students by insulting the guys in the Coast Guard recruitment booth: "You're called the coast guard because you coast on the backs of the people who really guard our country." He also makes a homophobic gesture, "accusing" the coast guard guys of sucking cock.
Ok, one "gay sex is shameful" joke. This is mild. Have you seen anything with Seth Green lately? He and his best friend reach for the popcorn at the same time, and accidentally touch hands: "I need to shower and cry for three hours! I've never been so disgusted! If anyone saw us, they might think that we're -- oh, I'm going to be sick!"
Finally the coast guard guys, led by Brock (Pete Ploszek), have had enough of his jibes, pour Big Red soda into his butt hole, and have their dog mascot -- um --- you know. But Ders likes it!
Later, Ders pretends that he wants to apologize, but he tells a dirty joke instead. The coast guard guys chase him. He climbs a ladder and escapes into a dorm room....
Adam's Adventure: He suddenly realizes that this is the campus where they filmed his favorite porno, Dorm Daze. He looks around until he finds Room 18, where they filmed the gang bang scene. Wait -- the direction of the "semen sprays" isn't right. He is creating a diagram, when the room's occupant, Danny (Peter Ngo), comes in with a girl and orders him out.
When Adam sees a girl carrying a texbook on Female Sexuality, he thinks she's going to a class on porn, so he follows her into a giant lecture hall -- occupied entirely by women! Score -- dozens of future porn actresses learning about the trade. Maybe they'll even use him to demonstrate their techniques!
The professor calls him down. He's thrilled! He just wishes he wore his "big dick jeans" to show off his huge cock. It's really a Women's Studies class about women's objectification by the patriarchy! Run! But he digs himself in deeper and deeper, discussing how much he likes porn: "the gentle cupping of the balls....they caress the shaft....and then gag..." Do you like getting them or giving them, Adam?
Time for the lambasting: the women are being exploited. Many are confused actresses lured in with the offer of a legitimate movie role, given drugs and alcohol to lower their inhibitions, then forced to perform. Many are single mothers. What if your mother was in that situation?
"My Mom?" Adam seethes. Converted into an anti-porn advocate, he and the students rush to the dorm room used for filming pornos, and shut it down! Except it's a regular dorm room now, occupied by Dominic (Seth Ginsberg, top photo), having consensual sex with his girlfriend. Wait -- Adam uses logical deducation to determine that the real porn room is....
Blake's Adventure: He is pretending to be Australian, so when he sees a sign announcing open auditions for Hamlet, he auditions with a fight scene from Crocodile Dundee. The director chastises him: "You're a very bad actor," but Crystal, a girl in the audience, offers him a role in a short film.
She leads him to a dorm room. He wants to know about the characters, the plot, and so on, but Landon, the director, gives him drugs and alcohol and tells him to whip it out. Blake catches on that it's a porno, and tries to leave, but Landon yells at him and threatens him. "I just wanted to act," Blake whimpers. "So go in the closet and grease up your hog." Notice the beat-by-beat reflection of what the professor told Adam. Not understanding, he comes out with his body greased. Crying, humiliated, he can't bring himself to take out his dick.
Tying the Plot Threads Together: Adam and the students burst in to save Blake and "this poor, innocent girl." Crystal points out that she's a producer, she owns 40% of the company, and besides, she enjoys performing. Whoops, there's another side to the story. It's not all about exploitation.
But they still need someone with a penis to do it on camera. Not to worry -- Ders bursts in, chased by the coast guard guys, who are all interested. We cut to them waiting in line to do a "Coast Guard Gang Bang" movie. Wait -- twelve guys and one girl? Some of those guys are going to be banging each other. The end.
Beefcake: Blake and Dominic the Dorm Guy.
Gross-out humor: Ders enjoys the dog-sex thing. In the kicker, he suggests that the guys get a dog.
Heterosexism: The coast guard guys complain that they've been chasing Ders all over campus. "We should be chasing chicks, not dudes."
The professor who describes porn as solely about women being exploited by men gets her comeuppance: sometimes male performers are being exploited, too.
Homophobia: One reference. Interestingly, when Crystal tries to humiliate Ders into performing, she says "Don't you like sex?", not "Are you gay?"
Gay Subtext: Except for one or two lines suggesting an interest in women, Adam presents as gay. His favorite porn scene involves guys jizzing. When he describes what he likes about porn, it's all about giving a blow job.
My Grade: A
I could hardly post on Adam's penis expertise without some penis pics after the break. Caution: some arousal.
David England, from Jackass
Joel Rush, from The Righteous Gemstones. See: Joel Rush: Beefcake and the glory hole scene.
Henry Eikenberry, from Euphoria. See: Euphoria: High school boys in love, gay/bi affairs, toxic masculinity, and Brock O'Hurn
Michael Pitt, from The Dreamers
Adam Devine, of course. See: Game Over, Man: Five minutes of Adam's divine dick
Those are some lovely penises-
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