Bobby Hogan: From homophobic college to parody Spiderman, with some significant dicks in between

 

"The Lake," from Season 2 of  American Horror Stories, follows the recent American Horror Story pattern of minimizing or eliminating LGBT representation.  In the first scene, three hot guys and three bikini-clad girls are on a boat, discussing how heterosexual they are.  

Jake (Bobby Hogan) has a map of the village that was flooded to create their lake, so he and his sister dive down and look for souvenirs.  Suddenly a green tendril grabs him and pulls him into the muck.  He doesn't appear again, except as a corpse.  In fact, none of the cute guys appear again.  The story is all about sister Finn and her mother discovering the evil secret of the lake.

Heteronormativity or no, I wanted more than just one scene worth of Bobby Hogan's chest and abs, so I researched him on IMDB and his instagram, looking for beefcake and evidence that he is gay.

Not much biographical information.  On his Facebook, he says that he is from St. Louis and Chaminade College Preparatory School and Belmont University in Nashville.  Chaminade is Catholic, and Belmont is "Christ-centered," affiliated with the Southern Baptist Church until it broke away in 2007, and intensely homophobic. 

Bobby starred in Escape to Margaritaville, Footloose, and Johnny and the Devil's Box, and graduated with a BFA in Musical Theater in 2019.  

Wait -- 90% of musical theater guys are gay.  How does Belmont even allow a musical theater degree program?  Bobby must be gay or gay-friendly, but then why would he choose a homophobic college and listen to rants about how evil he or his fellow drama majors are?  I'm confused.

On WeAudition, advertising a service helping you run lines, develop a character, and so on, Bobby states that he moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2020 to begin his film/tv career.  Unfortunately, it was the start of the COVID pandemic, so roles were scarce.  He has 10 listins on the IMDB, beginning in 2021 with The Superhero Diaries  

He plays a Parody Spiderman in 7 episodess.  I watched some clips on Youtube: a date with Harley Quinn, and serenading Wonder Woman.  Depressingly heteronormative, but he displays a nice physique and bulge.

After that, a lot of guest gigs:

Duncan in the 9-1-1 Lone Star episode "Red vs. Blue."  It's actually about a cops-firefighter baseball game, not red states vs. blue states.

 Marine Recruit #6 in the movie Manifest Evil. The trailer shows a man interacting with two women, yawn.

The American Horror Stories gig.

Trevor Logan on The FBI episode "Fortunate Son." A teen shows up at headquarters with a bag of fentanyl, and wants the gang to find out who killed his father.  To meet my n*de dude quota, the RG Beefcake and Boyfriends site has a frontal photo of John Boyd, who plays one of the agents, after the break

A soldier on the NCIS episode "Survival of the Fittest."  He is attacked by a genetic weapon.

Cole on SWAT

Joshua in Remy & Arletta, a Christian movie about two girls who are friends (not girlfriends).  A Christian movie?   Figures.

Two episodes on Chicago PD as Noah Gorman, a teenager who leaves home after his homophobic parents denounce him for being gay. He is kidnapped, but mom and dad don't care, it's what he deserves for turning evil.  He is found, badly beaten and traumatized, but won't say who the kidnapper was.  

Hank Voight, Jason Beghe, takes him in, since he has nowhere else to go.  In the next episode, he is kidnapped again and killed -- not in a hate crime, just a regular serial killer, but still an awful "bury your gays" moment.  If you are gay, you must die.

But at least Bobby had no problem with playing a gay character. 

I'm posting a shot of Jason Beghe's backside, and some potential Bobby dicks after the break.

Hank Greenspan: Femme boy plays only straight characters, but is he gay in real life? With bonus Brandon butt and Carlos cock

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Regan Burns: "Dog with a Blog," obstacle courses, gay erasure, and Big Dick Mitch. With an alpha male d*ck

 

Regan Burns, who plays Big Dick Mitch in Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.8, is best known as a comedic actor.  He has appeared in 3rd Rock from the Sun, Malcolm in the Middle, How I Met Your Mother, Weeds, and 2 Broke Girls.

His most substantial role is Bennett, the father of the family in the Disney Channel's Dog with a Blog (2012-15)

He's also a personal trainer and running coach.  He didn't say who his partner is.

He sells the Hyrox Physical Fitness Challenge, which caters your race to your physical fitness level. 

I filled out their questionnaire:

Hhow often do you work out (every day)

What distance do you like to run (5k)

How many pushups can you do in a set (30)

It said I should do a pro race, but I'm not doing nearly as much as someone with that physique.

Regan also enjoys obstacle course racing, like the Grit OCR, which you complete with a partner.  It involves obstacles like Dennis the Menace (using a slingshot), Flip this House (flipping giant boxes),  and Out of Gas (carrying heavy cans up mountains).

Regan's partner here is Aaron Cobia, a "husband, dad, and mountain climber."

I hate it when they brag about being heterosexual in their first line.  And it doesn't even work, Buddy: here are gay husbands and fathers.    

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Mark Povinella: Two circus performers, a Snow White dwarf, a gay-subtext boyfriend, Ibsen's "Doll House," and two dicks

Several years ago, we gave up on Modern Family, the comedy about three interrelated "modern families,"  somewhere around Season 5.  But now we're starting it up from the beginning.  Last night was Episode 2.12, "Our Children, Ourselves" (2011).  In the B plot, gay couple Mitchell and Cam run into Mitch's old high school girlfriend, Tracy. She's married now, and she doesn't want anything to do with Mitch. 

1.  He came out on the night of their senior prom, ruining it for her (poor heterosexual lady, gays are such a problem!).

2. Nine years later he had sex with her at their high school reunion, and then cut off all contact, refusing her calls and texts 

Hold on -- they had sex?  Mitch explains that he wanted to see if he could do it.  Apparently dude is bi-curious.   

After Tracey brushes them off, the guys see her getting ice cream for a male person, then kissing the top of his head.  From their brief, obscured view, he looks like an eight-year old boy with red hair -- obviously Mitch's son!  You didn't use a condom for your hetero experimentation?  

After the usual agonizing and recriminations (but he hadn't even met Cam nine years ago), they decide that they want to be part of the boy's life, and show up at Tracy's house. After an embarrassing conversation where they are talking about different things, they discover that the person they saw was not  Tracey's son -- he was her husband  (the 3.9" Mark Povinelli). Well, they really pushed the misdirection -- why didn't the guy get his own ice cream?  

Cam and Mitch unfortunately brought a gift: a "Little Slugger" baseball glove.

With my usual interest in short guys, I wanted to know more about Mark Povinella.  I discovered that:

1. He has an impressive physique, as seen here playing Torvald in Mabou Mines DollHouse, an adaption of the Ibsen classic (on stage, plus filmed in 2009).

2. From 2017 to 2023, he was President of Little People of America, an advocacy group with 7,500 members in 70 chapters.

3. He has 51 acting credits on the IMDB, including episodes of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, Pushing Daisies, ANT Farm, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Criminal Minds, and Deadtime Stories, but he is most famous for:

Water for Elephants (2011): during the Great Depression, Jacob (Robert Pattinson) joins the circus, and rooms with Kinko (Mark), with whom he develops a strong gay-subtext friendship while pursuing a heterosexual romance.

Mirror, Mirror (2012): A postmodern retelling of the Snow White story, with Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen, Armie Hammer as the Handsome Prince, and seven dwarfs.

Are You There, Chelsea? (2012), based on the drunken-humor memoir of Chelsea Handler, with Laura Prepon as the recovering alcoholic.  She works at a sports bar, with Mark and Jake McDorman as the bartenders.

Left: There are several videos of Jake McDorman's j/o sessions online.

More after the break.