Martin Spanjers: Eight simple rules for determining if the "Eight Simple Rules" kid is gay

 


Rule 1: Does his character gawk at guys in the shower?

This is a still from Epiosde 3.1 of the  TGIF sitcom Eight Simple Rules (2002-2005).  It was originally Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, about an overprotective Dad played by John Ritter, but when Ritter died, it became a general family-angst dramedy.  I never watched, but in 2004 you could hardly turn on your computer without seeing Martin Spanjers as the teenage Rory gawking at Sam Horrigan.  


Only Seasons 1-2 are available to stream on Disney Plus, so I don't know what's going on in the scene, except that Rory doesn't want to shower after gym class due to his less than adequate package.  Maybe Sam Horrigan is a high school jock?  















2. Does he play a gay-vague teenager?

Fan consensus is that Rory is one of those gay-vague sitcom kids, soft, shy, pretty, and struggling valiantly to act girl-crazy because on American sitcoms, all teenage boys must be girl-crazy.





3. Does he show his butt on screen?

The next time I saw Martin Spanjers, he was still naked, playing the teenage shapeshifter Sam Merlotte in a 2009 episode of True Blood, about vampires, werewolves, and various other magical beings in rural Louisiana.  When you shift back to human form, you lose your clothes, so he's naked when he breaks into a house looking for food or something to steal.



4. Does he have a gay-subtext role?

The house happens to belong to a maenid (minor goddess) named Maryanne, who naturally wants to have sex with him.  He steals $10,000 on his way out, which causes the adult Sam Merlotte a lot of headaches.  

Although the encounter is heterosexual, Sam is homeless because his parents kicked him out when they discovered his "secret."  We can see a reflection of gay teens ejected by homophobic parents.  About 40% of homeless youth are LGBT.

More after the break

Adam Stevenson: Vampire's boyfriend, sailor's husband, ghillie dancer, possible bondage bottom, true Scotsman

 

When I reviewed A Discovery of Witches, I was impressed by the overwhelming cuteness and strong gay vibe of Adam Stevenson, who plays the gay-tease boyfriend of the vampire Marcus.  He is killed off two minutes after he is introduced, and Marcus is turned straight, but that two minutes is loaded down with erotic and romantic moments.  So of course I had to do a profile.

Born in Glasgow in 1990, Adam is a major proponent of Scottish independence: "If we are truly heading into a society of tolerance and democracy, if we are moving in the direction of equality and harmony...then I see one obstacle in our way, and that is being bound to the United Kingdom."

Super-cute, and a political activist.  What else do you need?  






Oh, right -- nude photos.

After high school, Adam worked in the hospitality industry, engaged in political activism, and discovered an interest in acting.  He performed in Bordering on Shakespeare with the National Theater of Scotland, and started the theater company Little Bohems, bringing "modern and contemporary plays to small audiences in  unique settings throughout the Central Belt and Borders."  That's the region between Edinburgh and Glasgow.



Adam's passion for acting led him to the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, where he received his degree in 2017.  He was immediately cast in Episode 2.5 of  The Crown: the Queen attends the traditional Ghillies Ball at Balmoral Castle. "Ghillie" means "Gameskeeper" in Scots Gaelic; you perform Scottish Highland dances.  In a kilt, of course.

Next came the gay-tease buddy in A Discovery of Witches, 2018


And a role as Urie Campbell, a young soldier who has a gay-subtext bond with his buddy Hector in Mary, Queen of Scots, 2018.  He has some lines in Scots Gaelic.

Andrew Rothney, left, plays King James I. 

In 2019, COVID hit, and with the lockdown the acting roles dried up.


In 2021, Adam started a Kickstarter campaign to fund My Friend Jame,  a COVID-era film about the relationship between a homeless man and an autistic boy,  written by Marina McQueer, his boyfriend Paul's sister (not pictured).

Yes, McQueer is a real name. 

More Adam and Paul after the break.  Caution: explicit.