"Hell of a Summer": Six gay, bi, and "not into labels" guys work together to prove that gay people don't exist. And there's a psycho-slasher.

I haven't reviewed many movies lately because I've been burned several times.  

There are promos of two men gazing longingly at each other, but it turns out that they are about to fight, not kiss.  

There are trailers with guys buddy-bonding and no girls, but when you click "play," you get five minutes of a man and woman in bed.  

There are movies starring 35 gay male actors, and every single one of them is playing a straight guy.  

For example, the summer camp psych-slasher movie Hell of a Summer (2023) just dropped on Hulu with an icon featuring three obviously gay guys staring at a bloody axe.  

When I checked the cast list, I discovered that five of the top seven male cast members are gay or bi in real life.  

Obviously this will be a movie about a group of gay guys fighting a psycho-slasher.

Time to check the trailer.

Scene 1: Jason loves Camp Pineaway so much that he returns year after year.  Now age 24, he gives a "welcome" speech to the new counselors, with the rules: no smoking, no drinking, no cell phones.

Jason is played by Fred Hechinger (top photo and icon left), who is heterosexual but played the "I'm gay but the skittish producers won't let me say so" Emperor Caracalla in Gladiator II.

Scene 2:  The campers haven't arrived yet, so the counselors party.  I don't notice any boy-girl coupling. The extremely femme Chris arrives with his boyfriend Bobby, and yells "Hey, Girl!" at a girl named Shannon.

Chris is played by Finn Wolfhard (icon right), who is "bisexual." Usually this means attracted to men and women, but apparently Finn means attracted exclusively to men but not wanting to say "gay," just in case he may be attracted to a woman in the distant future.

Boyfriend Bobby is played by Finn's real-life boyfriend Billy Bryk (left and icon center).  He is "not into labels," meaning "gay, but afraid to admit it because then people might think he was gay or something."

Finn and Billy are also the writers and directors.  This is their project.

Scene 3: Later, femme Chris kisses Shannon?  WTF?

And brags to boyfriend Bobby that he performed oral sex on her.   Why isn't the boyfriend upset?  Are you a feminine-presenting heterosexual with a gay bestie, Girlfriend?  That's a big gay tease.

Left: Two gay guys to tide you over.  This is going to get rocky.

More after the break

"It's a Wonderful Knife": A "Wonderful Life" psycho-slasher homage with six queer characters and Depner dicks

It's a Wonderful Knife, appeared on my Hulu feed with an interesting premise: A year after Winnie saves the town from a psycho-killer, she wishes she had never been born, and gets her wish.  So she never existed, and the town is still saddled with the psycho-killer.  She must team up with "town misfit" Bernie to defeat him.

Sounds heteronormative, as usual, but call-backs to It's a Wonderful Life might be fun.  Besides, it stars Justin Long, one of my 1990s crushes.

Scene 1:  Establishing shot of the town of  Angel Falls -- Wonderful Life was in Bedford Falls, har har -- , with Mayor Henry (Justin) extolling the benefits of his new housing development.  Switch to a Christmas festival, with Henry making a speech.  Check out the creepy masked nun-angel atop the Christmas tree -- it will be important later. 

As Main Girl Winnie and her dad and brother walk home, Mayor Henry and his Adult Brother Buck  (Sean Depner, left) grab them to ask what they thought of his speech.  Brother Jimmy notes that Buck has started an OnlyFans page -- where you subscribe to see videos of a guy beating off.

He asks "Buck, do you remember me?  You were my PeeWee Football coach!"

Buck ignores him.  Disappointed, Jimmy says "Please shoot me." A very subtle queer moment, but better than nothing: Jimmy is gay.

Sean Depner, who is gay in real life, actually does have a MyFans account, or at least some nude photos online.

In other news, Mayor Henry needs an Old Guy to sign over his house so he can build his housing development.  He drags Dad off to  help talk him into it, even though it's Christmas Eve.

Scene 2:  The Old Guy refuses to sign, because his family has lived there for generations, and it goes to his granddaughter after he's gone.   Henry: "You're the past.  I'm the future.  Get with the program, Boomer." Actually, he looks more like the Greatest Generation

Granddaughter Cara comes downstairs, tells Grandpa how much she loves him, and notes that they're both invited to dinner at Main Girl Willa's house tomorrow . Mayor Henry creepily says "You be safe, now," and she's off to the big Christmas Eve party.

Scene 3: At home, Mom gives a rainbow ornament to "my gay son."  Ok, Jimmy is outed.  Aunt comes in with her wife, annoyed because her in-laws won't believe that they are married, not roommates.  Ok, she is outed in her first sentence. That's three gay characters, plus two LGBT cast members -- Willa is played by nonbinary actor Jane Widdop.  This is turning into quite a queer-friendly movie.

Winnie runs out to go to the party with Best Friend Cara -- the only thing standing between Mayor Henry and the housing development plan, remember?   Their boyfriends, Eddie and Robbie, will meet them there. 

Back at the ancestral house, Grandpa is staring morosely at the fire, when there's a knock on the door.  It's a psycho-killer dressed like the creepy masked nun-angel!  Why not just steal his heart medication?

Scene 4: At the big party, Winnie wants to make friends with the Town Outcast, but a Mean Girl pulls her away  -- guess what?  Outcast Bernie is a girl.  I bet she was a boy in the first draft, but they changed her gender so...wait...Boyfriend Robbie and Brother Jimmy arrive and brag about their scores at the big football game.  Then Jimmy goes off to cruise a "brooding, artistic type,"  Best Friend Cara and the Mean Girl go off with their boyfriends, and Winnie is left alone.

Scene 5: Cut to Jimmy and the Brooding, Artistic Guy smooching in the woods. Uh-oh, a twig snaps.  It's the Nun-Angel, leaving them alone.  Not a homophobe, anyhow.

Jimmy is played by Aidan Howard, who is gay in real life.  Three queer cast members.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit