Gemstones Episode 1.5: Baby Billy and Eli compete for Aimee-Leigh. Plus water sports and donkey dicks

Just moving this review into its proper sequence.

Previous: Episode 1.4, Continued: Dot drives Kelvin crazy, Keefe refuses a bj, and Gideon and Scotty date.  With a Daedalus dick bonus

Title: "Interlude."  The interludes, set halfway through each season, are designed to clarify the conflicts and back stories, and to keep you in suspense after a major crisis. Here we flash back to 1989. when Eli and Aimee-Leigh were rich but not mega-rich, Baby Billy was hoping for a come-back after his child-star career, and young Jesse was jealous of his soon-to-be-born brother Kelvin. 

A Hot Piece of Tail:  This is the golden age of televangelism, with Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, and Jerry Falwell eating up the airwaves -- and blaming homa-sekshuls for everything from teen pregnancy to hurricanes/  They were especially eager to proclaim that homa-sekshuls were trying to destroy society by infecting straight people with AIDS.  In 1989, the number of new cases peaked at 80,000. 

Before the broadcast,  Aimee-Leigh walks around, being friendly to the crew.  Very diverse crew: -- old and young, black and white, women in jobs traditionally held by men, probably gay people.  She compliments Eli as "a hot piece of tail," and he agrees: "I'm sizzling hot."This seems a little gender-transgressive.  Men aren't typically referred to in this way.  Just before the curtain rises, Aimee-Leigh tells Eli, "I'm pregnant."  How playful, and borderline mean!

Family Dinner:  Lots of gross closeups of 1980s food.  When Aimee-Leigh says that she has news to share, Jesse guesses that Judy has been put up for adoption, and she guesses that he has AIDS. In 1989 evangelicals -- and most of the general public -- thought that only gay men contracted AIDS, so she is "accusing" him of being gay. 

No, Aimee-Leigh says without disciplining them, she is actually having a baby. Jesse wishes that she has a miscarriage, again without discipline, then backtracks: : "I will never like them.  They will never be my friend."  This is a call-back to the Episode 1.1 scene where Jesse is upset with Kelvin because "we used to be friends."  

Judy hopes that it's a boy, so she can teach him how to pee standing up.  Is she accusing Jesse of being a woman?

The Misbehavin' Tour: At the office, Baby Billy tells the Gemstones about his idea for a Misbehavin' Comeback Tour this spring.  But she can't do it: she is pregnant, due in July (in Season 2, Kelvin says that his birthday is near Christmas, but never mind).

Baby Billy insists that they go on the tour anyway, but she insists that she can't.  How about waiting until after the birth?  Nope.

Billy blames Eli for ruining his come-back: "You're the one who splashed all that sperm all over her."  This is a very odd way of describing heterosexual intercourse, more accurate for guys beat ing off.  Billy seems very jealous; does he wish that Eli had splashed sperm all over him?

The screenshot shows Baby Billy in pain, behind window slats that look like bars. He is trapped, unable to move beyond his child-star days, blaming Eli for ruining his life. In Season 3, Eli's other brother-in-law will blame him too, with more violent results.  

The Birthday Party:  After scenes where Jesse is caught arranging little-kid fights and complains that his parents are never around, a we cut to Judy's birthday party.  Kids eating food in disgusting ways (a regular trope in this episode); riding a slip-and-slide; riding ponies.  

What Jesse is looking at after the break. Warning: Explicit.

Gemstones Episode 1.4 Continued: Dot drives Kelvin crazy, Keefe refuses a bj, and Gideon and Scotty date, With bonus Daedalus dick

I revised the Dot/Kelvin and Gideon/Scotty sections of this review

Previous: Episode 1.4 : Keefe looks for love in a sports bar, and Kelvin meets a girl.

Earlier in Episode 1.4, we learned that Keefe is gay, and Kelvin is afraid of sex, or maybe just the phallus. Next we see a normalization of the Gideon-Scotty relationship.  Instead of being terrorized by Scotty, Gideon seems to actually like and care about him. This suggests disagreements among the showrunners about where the characters should go, similar to seeing Kelvin and Keefe as good buddies in one episode and romantic partners in another.

I'll let you buy me dinner: At the campground, Gideon gives Scotty the intel he learned from Martin: they receive an offering of over $1,000,000 on normal Sundays, but on big holidays, $3,000,000.  It's counted and placed in the vault overnight Sunday. On Monday it's deposited into the bank.  Wait -- is that all in cash?  Don't people just throw a few bucks in the offering plate?  If they're going to donate a lot of money, they'll write a check, or just have it deducted automatically from their bank account.

Scotty "goes dark" for a moment, brags about his own stuntwork, and criticizes Gideon's.  Then he becomes downright friendly and says "I'll let you buy me dinner."

You Shine:   Kelvin appears at Dot's lacrosse practice at North Jackson High School.    The background music, Sweet Cheater's "Summer," seems to suggest a sexual interest:

It's driving me crazy, making me wild in the summer, 

Spending my time alone with you

Take a ride, baby, to the stars, in the backseat of my car

Ooh yeah, it feels so right, you belong with me tonight

.

 Her friend concurs: “Who’s that creepy man?”, “man” instead of “guy” highlighting Kelvin’s inappropriate age, but Dot assures her that he’s harmless, “just an asshole from church.” 

 He swishes down from the bleachers and squeals “What’s up, girl!” like the flamboyant gay friend in a romcom, a queer code that signifies his utter lack of romantic or sexual intent.

He apologizes for the Satanic Sweep, oddly characterizing it as a “hang” between friends, and invites her to a teen trampoline party at the Sky Zone tonight: “No presh, just come by. If you like it, great.  If not, you’ll never see me again.”  This is the rhetoric of someone who wants to make a friend, not find a girlfriend. 

When she agrees, Kelvin adds: “What if we go no boyfriend tonight. Just you.  You sparkle without him – know that.”  Austin is too old for the teen group, so he wouldn’t be permitted anyway; Kelvin is simply stressing that Dot doesn’t need an older boyfriend, or “semen loads,” He skips off, still the flamboyant gay friend: “It’s gonna be fun, girl!”  

When the episode first aired, some very desperate fans took it as evidence that Kelvin was straight, and interested in Dot, but what straight guy would ever make a date and then skip off with a "It's gonna be fun, girl!" 

Dot at the Youth Group:  We cut to the youth group meeting at the Sky Zone, an indoor trampoline park on Wando Park Boulevard in Mt. Pleasant, a suburb of Charleston with many Gemstone sites. Lots of kids somersaulting on bouncy-walls, and Keefe stretching Kelvin from behind as he groans "Harder. Harder.   Yeah, oh, that's good."  Acting like they're having anal sex, har har.

Left: random twink

Notice that they're both wearing "Faith Factory" T-shirts, but none of the kids are. Keefe is now Kelvin's assistant youth minister. 

Dot appears.  Kelvin is "super-pumped that you didn't bring your idiot boyfriend."  Do you still think he's straight, after the sex joke?

He clears a space.  Keefe says: "These feats of physical strength are amazing."  Yeah, Kelvin is hot.   He performs some professional-looking acrobatic stunts.

Gideon and Scotty's Date: Dinner is pizza and beer at the Shem Creek Restaurant in Mount Pleasant, to the rather suggestively sexual song “You Knock Me Out.” 

The way you talk when you say what you see

Your smile breaking my words – you knock me out.

The way you shake it, baby -- what’s on your mind?

The way you get when you get down – you knock me out. 

Apparently Scotty or Gideon, or both, are overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion.

 Scotty calls Gideon "Little Lord Fauntleroy,” a rather archaic phrase for a fragile, polite, feminine-coded “sissy,” named after a character in the 1886 novel by Francis Hodgson Burnett.  In the 1936 movie version, Freddie Bartholomew’s Ceddie is redeemed through a homoromantic bond with the tough Mickey Rooney    Likewise, here Scotty seems to be trying to masculinize Gideon, complimenting him on his ability to smoke, drink, and swear:  "I like this side of you, man."  They smile at each other, caring boyfriends far removed from the toxicity of Scotty’s earlier rant.

Gideon explains how he came to make the video: things were tense between him and Jesse, so his mom made him go to a prayer convention.  Jesse had his friends in his hotel room, and didn't want Gideon around. "Dude wanted to fuck," Scotty says, the act coming to mind because of what he intends for later.

So Gideon left, but on his way out, he hid  hid his phone with the video on, in case anything interesting happened.  He ended up taping Jesse's sex-and-drugs party, and decided to blackmail Jesse to "get even."

Scotty envisions their new life in Thailand, after stealing the money from the vault. He mentioned the ladyboys earlier, but it's worth repeating that Thailand is a well-known destination for gay tourism.  He also wants to repair the hard drive containing the sex-and-drugs party video, so "we fuck your Daddy in the butt again."  Very graphic way of putting it, with an incest-subtext. 

Then he recalls their first meeting.  Gideon was wearing a wig to be the stunt double for a woman (wigging," remember?), and Scotty was attracted: he came up behind him and grabbed "like you were a little piece." He means "a piece of ass," a potential sexual partner.  Apparently he likes people who are androgynous or nonbinary.  

Left: Gideon's butt.  Not  Skyler Gisondo's

He continues: "But you weren't.  You were a friend."  Gideon didn't mind being grabbed; apparently he liked it, since he accepted being drawn into a relationship.

 "And I get you.  I know you way better than your family does."  He sounds like an abusive boyfriend: "No one understand you but me." 

We cut to another scene on this busy Friday night: Jesse and Amber counseling Chad and his wife Mandy about the aberrant emails ("we were just fooling around").  Of course they mention cum again ("Water squirt emoji does not mean 'cum' -- it means ejaculation"),  And we're off to Club Sinister.

Satanist cock after the break

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 4: A baseball bat, a hickey, a little dog, and a chub with a chubby

 

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy. As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. You'll never get to first base that way, Sky. At least not during the game.

2. Long-term bud Wyatt Oleff.  The two starrred together in the tv pilot Middle Age Rage (2013), and stayed friends, bonding over abs.

3. And stuff.  Actually, Wyatt says that he doesn't remember who he's giving a hickey to. It could be Skyler, but then, he makes out with so many guys....

4. Skyler grooving on some stars and stripes.  And his little dog, too.

5. Skyler's "just guys" vacation in New York.  He didn't say who he went with, but they look very comfortable together.  Hanging out in their underwear.

6. And out of their underwear.

More after the break

Good Trouble: the Foster girls move to Los Angeles, get horrible jobs, and compete over a bi boy. With a lot of naked guys

 Good Trouble popped up on my recommendations from Hulu under the Pride Collection.  The icon shows two girls, so they must be a lesbian couple.  Maybe there are gay characters, too.

Scene 1: Two girls, who name themselves Mariana and Callie, squeal as they drive a U-Haul on an empty highway to L.A.  I can't tell who has which name, so I'll call them Long Hair and Short Hair.  One has just graduated from law school and found a job as a clerk for a federal judge, and the other, just graduated from college, has found a job as a software engineer. 

Scene 2: With those salaries, they could rent a condo in West Hollywood, but instead they're moving into a hippie commune at the Palace Theater downtown.  The manager gives them a tour: 

Communal bathroom, with a naked lady and a guy who doesn't wash his hands after using the urinal. Manager complains that everyone over-wipes. 

Kitchen, where a lady complains that everyone steals her stuff from the refrigerator.  

Lounge, where someone named Dennis is rehearsing a play about stealing books.

Dennis is played by Josh Pence, left, and below.

Their horrible bedroom, with sagging plaster, unfinished walls, and opaque windows. They can use the communal bathroom, or they can buy a chamber pot, but don't poop in it, because the rats will eat it.  I'm never going to get that image out of my head. Girls, just rent a decent apartment.

Scene 3: The girls complain, but they have no choice: they can only afford $1600 per month.  Ok, that might be a problem.  My old apartment in West Hollywood is now running at $3000.

Scene 4: Uh-oh, their U-Haul has been broken into, and everything was stolen!  How long were you looking at the horrible commune before coming down to unload?

They go to a bar to drink tequila. Short Hair notes that the male bartender is hot.  "Really?" Long Hair asks, annoyed.  "When was the last time you got laid?"  Wait -- I thought they were a lesbian couple. Why is this included in the Pride Collection?  Is there a gay minor character?

Scene 5: They have no clothes for work tomorrow, so they head to an all-night discount store for a montage of trying on clothes, playing with dolls, squealing,  and hugging. Then sleeping on separate mattresses, waking up late the next morning, and rushing out.  Hang on -- you planned to move into your new place the day before your first day at work?  What if you were delayed on the road?

On the way out, Short Hair gets a cliched jaw-dropping love-at-first-sight moment as the Boy of Her Dreams walks toward her in slow motion.  I don't see the attraction -- he's disheveled, shabbily dressed, hair askew, looking like how Hollywood portrays meth heads.  Long Hair knows him already, from when he interviewed at the software company.  Wait -- she hasn't gone to work yet, she doesn't work in human resources, and, and....what the heck is going on?  Anyhow, the takeaway of the scene is that they're sisters, both into the hunky Meth Head, and likely to sabogate each other's attempts to snare him.  . 

Or not.  I can't find him in the cast list.

Googling Callie and Medina, I discovered that they are from The Fosters, a soap opera about a lesbian couple raising a lot of foster and adopted kids. So that's the gay connection?    

The Fosters was a soap opera, so Good Trouble will probably have a lot of tragedy and angst. 

Scene 6:  That night, while mooning over Meth Head, Short Hair walks up to the balcony swimming pool ...in a seedy, decrepit falling-apart movie theater where they can't even afford to plaster the walls?  None of this makes any sense.  Just go with it.  

A hunk takes off his shirt and dives in. Beefcake alert: we see him underwater, swimming laps.  He notices Short Hair and introduces himself as Gael, played by Tommy Martinez, top photo and left.

Whoa, a sudden shot of Short Hair as a victim of a violent sexual assault.  Or maybe extremely energetic consensual sex -- on tv with no context they look identical.  According to the fan wiki, when Callie was living in the foster home before the Fosters, she reported that a guy named Liam raped her, but her previous set of foster parents didn't believe her and kicked her out of the house.  She must be getting a post-traumatic flashback.

They discuss their dreams and goals, smoke pot, and examine Gael's art. He does terrible sculpting in clay -- and invites her to caress the very phallic end of his piece called "Stasis." Short Hair notes that she wanted to study art, but couldn't hack it and tried law as a back-up. 

They feel more art, and the camera repeatedly zooms in on Short Hair's bare shoulder -- I wonder if she suffered an injury there during her rape on The Fosters. Then they kiss.

More Foster girls after the break.  And a few guys.

Preston Oliver: Teen idol with four tv roles, two boyfriends, "Ask Me" Toney, and some nude costars

 I found Preston Oliver by accident while researching Ian Winningkoff.

According to the IMDB, he was born in 2006 and grew up in Las Vegas.  He got bit by the drama bug in fifth grade, when he was cast as a pirate in a version of Peter Pan.  Acting classes and professional representation followed, and, at age 12, his tv debut on two episodes of Chicago Fire: 

As the troubled son of richster Bradley Boyd (Justin Belfi), he sts Dad's boat and garage on fire, is sent away for counseling, and is never mentioned again. 

Left: Costar Jon Seda's dick

Less than six months later, Preston was cast in two episodes of This is Us, as the son of Kevin. played by Justin Hartley.  It's a soap opera, so Kevin's character arc was very complex and loaded down with tragedy.

Left: the butt of costar Logan Shroyer.

Then came an episode of Roswell, New Mexico as young Michael. one of the main characters, who abandons a relationship with a man to fall in love with a woman. I don't know if he's bisexual, or got "cured" of being gay.  He's played by Michael Vlamis. 

Preston's big break came in the Disney Channel's Secrets of Sulphur Springs, about a boy and a girl solving mysteries involving time travel. 

More Preston after the break

The Lake Episode 1.4: Sleazy mayorJerry O'Connell wants a three-way with Justin and his date. What's a gay guy to do?

 

I already reviewed the first episode of The Lake, a comedy about a gay guy who returns to the Lake where he spent summers during his childhood, with plots about bonding with the teenage daughter he never met and trying to save his grandfather's beloved cabin.  I want to review Episode 4 because: it features a gay three-way with 1990s heartthrob Jerry O'Connell

Scene 1: Everyone is cheering at the junior lifeguard trials. Justin (Jordan Gavaris, left) and his Daughter watch from a distance and make fun of them.  But they're only being slightly sarcastic today, because they have won a victory: the board voted against the Evil Maisy's scheme to renovate (that is, tear down) the cottage Justin visited in as a child -- he never actually lived there, but he is desperate to keep it the way it was, a sort of anchor to his past.  Most of the plot arcs involve Jason trying to keep the cottage out of Evil Maisy's clutches.  

Speak of the Devil: Evil Maisy drops by to introduce Jason to Gil the Thrill (Jerry O'Connell), who  is running for Mayor.  Gloating, Evil Maisy notes that the Mayor can re-classify the cottage as a farmhouse, which doesn't need Board approval to be...torn down!  

To make matter's worse, he's hot for Jason!  Dude, maybe you could convince him to not-reclassify the cottage by getting on your knees? No, not to beg.

Scene 2: By the way, Daughter's Crush (Jared Scott), who also happens to be Evil Maisy's son, won the lifeguard contest.  The first Chinese-Canadian Junior Lifeguard in Lake history!  He gets his sash and the keys to the legendary Boathouse while Mom, Dad, and his brother Opal (Declan Whaley) watch.  No, Opal is not trans, or nonbinary.  He's a femme gay boy.  

After the boys leave to hang out with Justin's Daughter, Evil Maisy and her Semi-Evil Husband (Terry Chen, left) discuss their evil scheme to get the cabin re-classified.  "Remember, Dear, this is Justin's fault.  He sabotaged my previous play to destroy his childhood memories, mwah-ha-ha, so, so stay frosty."

Scene 3: Justin is going through withdrawal from junk food due to Daughter's health consciousness, so he runs into the Tuck Shop, sneaks behind the counter, and grabs some chips. Manager Riley (Travis Nelson, below) appears. Beep! Gil the Thrill (mayoral candidate Jerry O'Connell) is contacing them both on Grindr.  Nice chest, and he's into three-ways, but he's in cahoots with Evil Maisy!  

Scene 4: Cut to Daughter and her Crush discussing the evil re-classification scheme.  Even though he's Evil Maisy's son, Crush wants to keep the cabin, for a reason too complicated (and gross) to explain. 

After Crush leaves, Scandinavian Hippie Ulrika comes in with a fish to be tested for herpes.  A big deal --if it tests positive, they have to close down the lake for weeks-- no boating, swimming, waterskiing, or construction.  Hmm -- Daughter has a idea.

Scene 5: Justin talks to Jayne, apparently his only Ally in the cabin plot.  She is upset because Daugher's Crush won Junior Lifeguard instead of her own daughters. "Grr...Evil Maisy and her family ruin every.  The next time I see hre, I'm going to tell her...."  Whoops, at that moment her ally Gil the Thrill appears. "...how excited I am about her cook-out tonight.  I'm bringing crab cakes."

When she leaves, Gil gets down to business: he wants to hook up with Justin. "No way -- you're on Evil Maisy's team, trying to destroy my childhood memories!"  

"But I might change my mind on the reclassification if you'll have sex with me."nees. Hey, that's sexual coercion! I know, I thought of it first. 

:"Thanks, but I have a date with Riley tonight." "I like three-ways. Bring him along, and it's a done deal.  I'll refuse to reclassify and stick it to Evil Maisy after I stick it to you."

More sticking after the break

Gavin's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 3: a boy and his monkeys, a boy and his fish, nude bikers, and bodybuilder buds

 

This is a collection cute/cool photos of Gavin Munn, who plays Jonathan on Raising Dion and Abraham on The Righteous Gemstones.  He's under 18, so no beefcake or nude photos, but I may have included some of his family and friends  

1. Bodybuilder buds.
 

2. A boy and his Dad

3. More of Dad, on Playa Jobos, Puerto Rico.

4. A boy and his Mom

5. Dinner in Aguadilla

6. Nude cyclists.

More Gavin after the break