"The Thursday Murder Club": Retirees solve murders. With Pierce Brosnan, Tom Ellis in a kilt, some gay hints, and bonus d*cks

 

The Tuesday Murder Club is currently #2 on Netflix.  Residents of an old person's home solving a "cozy murder" doesn't sound appealing, except that one of those old people is Pierce Brosnan, the suave, sophisticated, and well hung (according to Adam Devine) leading man of 1980s tv. 

Scene 1: In May 1973, a man is walking back from the pub to the flat of his girlfriend (heterosexual identity established in Minute 1), when he  heard two voices arguing.  Suddenly the girlfriend falls from a second-floor window.  She has been stabbed.  A masked intruder rushes away.  By the time the police arrive, she is dead.

In the present, three old people discuss the case in a palatial drawing room.  I'll call them by their jobs before the retired: Labor Union Activist (Pierce Brosnan), Psychiatrist (Ben Kingsley), and Spy (Helen Mirren).  Nothing had been taken from the flat, so robbery is an unlikely motive. The boyfriend, Peter Mercer, mechanic (played by Will Stevens), disappeared soon after the murder.  But did she die from the fall or the knife wound?  How long does it take to bleed out?  They need someone with medical expertise to help.

Scene 2: Establishing shot of the old people's home, Cooper's Chase, an ornate palace that must belong to royalty. A retired Doctor and her adult daughter tour the painting classes, archery lessons, and llamas used as comfort animals. Whew, I'm moving in.  Inside, they run into the Murder Club with their diagrams and crime scene photos.  Daughter is shocked, but Doctor is intrigued. 

Daughter doesn't want her mother living there, but Doctor insists (it's usually the opposite in the States).  She wants to make new friends, and she can't do that in an apartment in a city full of young people: they don't want anything to do with her.  Really?   Since I turned...um, whatever age this is... the twinks have been banging down my door. 

When Daughter leaves, the Doctor rushes downstairs to get the details of the Thursday Murder Club. They can use her medical skills to solve the cold case, so she's in!

Scene 3:  Evil Ian (David Tennant, left) drives through a quaint village (now I'm depressed; we don't have quaint villages in the States).  On the phone, Lloyd (not listed on the IMDB)  tells him that his wife wants the house, the car, and the apartment in Majorca.  Back story: she's divorcing him because he was unfaithful.  Heterosexual identity established immediately.

At the Red Lion pub, Evil Ian tells his Buddy Lloyd his evil scheme: to maximize his assets, he's going to go forward with clearing out a cemetary to build something disrespectful.  Who cares if grandma's remains are still there?  "Oh, and we're also tearing down Cooper's Chase, the old people's home."

"But the old people won't like it.  And some of them were very rich and powerful in their day."

"Who cares? It's my bloody land. The only real issue is Tony Curran, part owner of Cooper's Chase.  He won't agree to the demolition because his Auntie is a resident."

Left: Lloyd isn't listed in the IMDB, but maybe the subtitle writer made a mistake, and his buddyy is Bogdan, played by Henry Lloyd-Hughes (his penis is sort of visible).

Evil Ian wants to hire Buddy Bogdan to manage the destruction project.

"Sure, I'll take the job, but Tony Curran is a dangerous man. Maybe he kill you."

More about Bogdan: he's a Polish immigrant who needs the work to send money home to his elderly mother.

Scene 4: At Cooper's Chase, Dangerous Tony Curran has brought biscuits (cookies) for his Auntie ("your favorite," of course -- everybody in movies is always told that whatever they are eating is their favorite).   

The Thursday Murder Club walks by and says hello.  The Doctor asks who he is, and they explain -- but we already know, so the explanation is unnecessary, except the assertion that "he's on our side," against Evil Ian's scheme to destroy the home.  Another movie about people saving things, yawn.  When are we going to get to the murder?

On to cake and the cold case: In 1973, the boyfriend of the defenestrated girl was questioned and released, not a suspect.  But the only female police officer, Inspector Penny, wasn't so sure. She asked to bring him in for re-questioning, but "the boys' club closed ranks," and he vanished.  Something fishy about it.  Still not important to the plot.

Inspector Penny, by the way, was a member of the Thursday Murder Club, and brought in the case.  But she is in the hospice wing now, dying, so she can't contribute any more.

Scene 5: Cut to the hospice wing where the Spy s telling the comatose Inspector Penny about their new member.  Holding her hand and calling her "darling"?  Are they girlfriends? No, there's a man sitting with her, too, doubtless her husband.  And he asks the Spy "How is Stephen?", thus establish her heterosexual identity at Minute 14.  Tease that she's gay, and then immediately mention her husband!  They did that on purpose.

The Spy and Inspector Penny's Husband spend a lot of screen time discussing how much they love their spouses.  Then Spy returns to her apartment to interact with her husband, who has dementia and doesn't remember thiings.  

I'm fast-forwarding.  I signed up for murder, not "Silver Threads among the Gold."

Darling, I am growing old. Silver threads among the gold
Shine upon my brow today. Life is fading fast away.

Scene 6: A Cop is is giving a roomful of residents tips on home security.  The Spy asks about the 1973 murder, confusing her.  Plus, when she glances out the window, Cooper's Chase security has booted her police car for illegal parking, har har. 

Since she won't be going anywhere for awhile, they invite her to lunch and a tour of the grounds.  The Activist gets a visit from his son, Jason (Tom Ellis, top photo and left), a famous boxer, now retired after an injury and taking gigs like Celebrity Master Chef and Dancing on Ice.

  The Activist is established as heterosexual in Minute 21, and I'll bet this whole scene was just a set up for Jason to fall in love with the Cop.

And where's that murder?

They notice Evil Ian and Dangerous Tony Curran arguing: "Destroying Cooper's Chase and kicking out all the old people is essential to my evil plan!  I'll do anything -- anything -- to get it done!" 

"My Auntie's here, so I won't permit it!  It will never happen, as long as I'm alive!"

More after the break.

"My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": Jesse finds out about Abraham and Ash

Previous: "Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

October 18, 2025:

When Jesse walked into the media room, he saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on the big tv -- drag queens in the Australian outback -- and Pontius with his arms wrapped around someone.  They were kissing.

For a moment he thought it was a girl, proving that this "bi" stuff was just a phase.  But no, it was Stacy, the long-haired femme kid who was shot and almost killed at the Gator Farm Massacre.  How did he and Pontius manage to find each other?   

Sure, Stacy was a nice boy -- maybe too nice for his asshole son.  But after Kelvin coming out, then Cousin Karl, then his friend Levi, plus both Daddy and Uncle Baby Billy mentioning gay romances in their past, and now Pontius. Who was next,  BJ?  Aunt May-May?  Jesse was getting a little tired of being an ally.

“Hey, cool off," he called down.  "Give your tongues a rest.  Is that all you ever do?”

Pontius raised his head.  “Of course not," he said with an evil grin.  "We do a lot of stuff. Wanna watch?”

Jesse had already caught Pontius going down on Stacy -- in the hospital, of all places!  He didn't need a repeat. "Don't be a smartass.  You gonna go to the Queer Youth Game Night at Kelvin's house, or you gonna stay here and make out?"

"Stay here and make out?" Pontius asked, looking expectantly at Stacy.

"No, we're going. It's important for us to socialize with other queer youth."  He stood, took Pontius' hand, and pulled him to his feet.

"You're always going to get you rway" Pontius said, smiling.  "If only you weren't so gosh-darned cute."

Gosh-darned?  Jesse thought.  Maybe Stacy is a good influence on him.  

"One more for the road," Stacy said, "And then we'd better get to that party."  He leaned up and kissed Pontius.

"Disgusting display!" 

It was Vance Simkins, the megachurch pastor whose homophobic rants almost pushed Kelvin back into the closet, before he rallied, came out on national television, and won the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  

 “Who let you in?” Jesse asked, frowning.  "I defeated you in that duel, remember?  So stay on your own side of the state."

“The security station was letting everybody through, if they said they were coming for the party.  What party?"

“Kelvin and Keefe's Game Night," Jesse said, omitting the "queer."

But Vance caught on anyhow.  "Good thing I dropped by.  Is this one of them decadent parties with little holes in the wall, so you can stick your dick through and anybody who wants can suck it?  And guys hanging in leather stirrups, so anybody who wants can screw them?”

“It’s just board games,” Stacy said.

"But the party you're planning sounds fun, too," Pontius added.  "Can Stace and I get an invitation?"

Vance grinned.  "Well, if it’s perfectly innocent, you won’t mind if I come along.”

“It’s for queer youth and their allies under age 25," Jesse said.  "Now, you’re obviously queer, but you haven't been 25 since...The Battle of Fort Sumter?”

"Besides," Stacy added, "A lot of the kids are traumatized by growing up in homophobic churches.  Some are closeted, worried that their parents will reject them, even kick them out of the house.  It's supposed to a safe space -- no  homophobes allowed."

“I am not a homophobe, young lady, or fella, or whatever you think you are.  I just want to see the kinds of games homo...um, queer youth play.  Or should I call the police and tell them about the underaged homosexual sodomy going on in Kelvin's little den of iniquity?"

Jesse sighed.  He was probably bluffing, but... "Ok, Vance, you talked me into it.  We'll go over and check it out. Boys, you go on ahead.  We'll be there in a bit."

There were only two ways to get into the party: they had to either turn 21 again, or bring food.  Jesse dragged Vance to the kitchen, and they loaded up the two trays of lemon bars that Amber was planning to bring to the Marital Problem Group tomorrow -- he would drop by the all-night bakery and replace them later.  

They had to park on the lawn at Kelvin's house.  There were about a dozen cars parked outside, plus two church vans.  Assuming that they carpooled, Jesse estimated that there were about fifty teenagers and young adults at the party.  Hopefully none of them were kissing!

Kelvin's boyfriend Keefe answered the door with his fists raised.  "Pontius and Stacy told us you would be trying to get in.  But we don't allow homophobes."

"Down, boy!" Vance said with a laugh. "I promise to be on my best behavior."

"We're just dropping off some snacks for the group.  Two dozen lemon bars -- Amber and our housekeeper Tanya made them."

Keefe looked suspicious, but he dropped his fists.  "Well, I do love a good lemon bar. Come on in."

They carried the trays from the foyer into the formal parlor, where about twenty people were sitting in small groups.  Kelvin, leading what sounded like a Gay Trivia game, nodded at them.

"Hey, Buddy," Vance said, "Isn't that your son Geraldine?  The one who wants to be a preacher?"

It was definitely Gideon and his friend Clay, the Classics major -- really, who majored in Latin? -- sitting with their backs to them, playing a "How well do you know your partner" game with two girls, one with pink hair. 

"They must be here as allies.  See, they're with their girlfriends."  Why hadn't Gideon mentioned having a girlfriend?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

The cringe cock of "Angels and Insects"

 I don't usually use the contemporary term "cringe" as an adjective.  It's from a later generation, so it feels weird, but it is completely appropriate to describe the famous penis scene in Angels and Insects (1995).

Everyone in West Hollywood saw Angels and Insects when it premiered, due to the rumor of the penis.  Male frontal nudity was vanishingly rare in mainstream movies in the 1990s, and rumor had it that this guy was actually aroused!

After 30 years, I've forgotten everything about the movie except for the cringe penis and people actually being insects, so I looked up a plot synopsis.

In Victorian England, entomologist William Addison (Mark Rylance, top photo) gets a job cataloging the insect collection of baronet Sir Harold Alabaster (Jeremy Kemp).  

The name Alabaster makes me cringe.

When you search for n*de photosof Jeremy Kemp, this pops up.  I doubt that it's the same one.

Yes, I'm stalling.

William, of course, falls in love with Sir Harold's daughter Eugenia, an insect-obsessed young lady who dresses like a bug.  Actually, all of the women do, for a symbolic reason that I don't quite understand, but the movie won an Oscar for best costumes.

Eugenia and William get married and have some kids, but he is bewildered by her bedroom behavior, coldly rejecting him one moment and being voracious the next, so he starts an affair with a servant girl named Matty.

Left: Mark Rylance has shown his d*k on screen several times, but in this movie he just gets aroused under the sheets.

More after the break, including the cringe p*enis

Nick Arapoglou: A Hasidic boy, a straight drag queen, a gay Muppet, the Sex Toy Teen's Dad. With his backside and a n*de Chris Evans

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 3.4, the Sex Toy Guy (Nick Vardakas) attends Keefe's Ice Cream and Wieners Party with his Dad (Nick Arapoglou).  Biker Clarence happens to be there, and  tells them that Keefe bought out his adult store's entire inventory of "butt-buzzers."  Afraid of being outed, Keefe says "that's just something we used to do with the kids." Great idea, buddy.  Now they don't think you're gay, they think you're into kids.

Later, the parents meet with Kelvin to complain that Keefe is "weird" and not qualified to be a youth leader. Dad continues: "With all the rumors swirling around you, can't you see how strange this all looks?"

"There's rumors about me?" Kelvin asks, shocked.  

Jack: And then Kelvin said...he said...

Karen: That no one knows he's gay!

The real-life Nick Arapoglou (a gay ally) was born in Huntington, New York, but moved to Atlanta as a child.  He was a Drama Club Kid in high school, appearing in an al-fresco production of Midsummer Night's Dream (in a real forest).  

He received a B.A. in drama from Indiana University in 2007, then returned to Atlanta, where he became a mainstay of the theater scene.

Nick's theatrical performances include:

A closeted gay guy in Speech & Debate (2009)

A straight guy in the queer-themed Spring Awakening (2011). 

My Name is Asher Lev (2012), based on the classic coming-of-age novel by Chaim Potok, about a Hasidic Jewish boy torn between his religion and his art.

The Gifts of the Magi (2012), based on the O. Henry story, where Nick met his future wife Caroline.

Bobby Strong in Urinetown: The Musical (2013).

Romeo in Romeo and Juliet (2015)

The Toxic Avenger (2016), based on the 1984 movie about a slime-covered superhero.

A straight Elvis impersonator turned drag performer in The Legend of Georgia McBride (2017).

Straight Muppet Princeton and gay Muppet Rod in Avenue Q (2023), which won him the Suzi Bass Award for best actor in a musical.

Plus he has 33 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with Frat Guy in the short Married Sex (2009) and Fashion School Kid (probably queer coded) in a 2011 episode of Single Ladies.  

More after the break