The Out-Laws has an embarrassing low Rotten Tomatoes score, but it stars Adam Devine, plus Reyn Doi, who played a gay kid on That 90's Show, as a “weird and interesting looking boy famous for ribbon dancing to weird music.” Maybe he'll be gay in this movie, too.
Scene 1: This is amazing: a diorama of a wedding reception featuring miniatures of every cartoon and sci-fi character you have ever heard of: Beavis and Butt-head, E.T., The Human Fly, Ren and Stimpy, Gumby, a Teletubby. Owen (Adam Devine) explains to his fiancee Parker (a girl) that each character matches a real guest's personality. His horrible parents are Skeletor and Medusa.
She wants to know which figure he is. "He-Man, of course." To demonstrate the resemblance, he shakes his butt and frontside (no underwear for our boy!).
"This is the man I'm going to marry," she says with a resigned sigh. I take that you didn't choose Owen for his goofball personality, girl? It must have been the cock and balls bouncing around.
"By the way, let's start the plot moving: my parents can come to the wedding after all." He gets all excited; they smooch. It's a heterosexual rom-com. Get used to it.
Scene 2: Owen 's parents, Skeletor and Medusa, criticize his fiancee ("She is not a stripper! She owns a very successful yoga studio!"), his choice of wedding venue, and finally him ("You're becoming weird, Owen!).
Cut to work. He is the youngest manager in the history of Sunshine Bank! After polishing his photo and booping its nose, he faces his work buds. They complain that he never dated anyone before, and now suddenly he's engaged. What's wrong with her? Why does one of the most handsome men on Earth play so many guys who can't get laid? You can only stretch willing suspension of disbelief so far.
First crisis: Gary has locked himself in the vault again, even though there's an emergency exit lever right there.
Security guard buddy Tyree (Lil Rel Howery) tells Owen that the manager of the competing bank called him a "dickless troll" "I tried not to laugh, but it was fucking hysterical, imagining you without a dick." Now try imagining him with a dick.
Scene 3: Dinner at a hibachi restaurant with Owen, his parents, his cousin, his grandmother, a teenage girl, and a little boy. They grill Fiancee Parker on being a stripper. "I'm a yoga instructor!" she protests. Cousin RJ (Blake Anderson from Workaholics) has become an EMT; he wants to give Owen a ride in his ambulance and flatline him so he can visit their grandpa, who died of...well, figure it out for yourself. It's dirty.
Owen needs some pictures of Parker's parents for his next creative project, but she doesn't have any, so he calls the owner of their storage facility to ask to be admitted to the McDermott locker. There are two pictures of shirtless guys on the bulletin board behind him. The storage guy is gay!
The storage guy calls a Scary Rich Lady to notify her that someone asked about the locker. She takes Owen's name, then deals with the issue of a guy selling her fake diamonds -- by shooting him! Uh-oh, Owen is in over his head.
Later, while getting ready for bed (no beefcake), Owen and Fiancee Parker discuss the logistics of her parents' visit: they'll arrive the night before the wedding, and so on. Owen puts in his retainer, but then realizes that his girl wants to smooch and spits it out. She definitely was attracted by his genitals, not by his goofiness. Their foreplay consist of her fondling his earlobes or something.
Scene 4: Owen comes into the house with groceries, talking to Parker on his phone: "I got that tofu you like." "Yeah, I like my tofu like I like my men: real hard." Me too, girl. She continues that "Tonight I'm going to twist you up like one of those Go-Gurts and slurp you dry." Ok, I like to imagine Adam getting oral sex as much as the next guy, but that sounds painful.
He begins singing about how tonight they're finally going to bone. Wait -- they sleep in the same bed. Why wouldn't they have....?
After decking him in self-defense and informing him that they aren't burglars, Mom Lily wants a hug, and Dad Billy kisses him - right on the mouth! "You kiss just like Parker!" Owen exclaims, not entirely displeasd.
Parker comes in. The parents act batshit crazy, threatening Owen and then backing off with "I'm joking." Wait -- is Parker doing a long con, pretending to be in love with Owen so her confederates can rob his bank?
Scene 5: Wine, weird art-project presents, and their meet-cute story: Owen enrolled in Parker's yoga class, and passed out in the child-position, butt in the air. She thought he was dead. "So you asked her out?" "No, I stayed in the class for a year and a half, then she asked me out." That's a very long con. Parker must be unaware of her parents' career path.
Cut to Owen making breakfast the next morning. Parker can't get anyone to cover her class, so Owen has to entertain her parents.
They discover that Owen doesn't like his butt grabbed: "It scares me." So of course they all have to do it. This will become important later.
Scene 6: Owen has some fun activities planned: a South American pottery exhibit, followed by the Holocaust Museum (it has a great food court). But they're up for skydiving, with Owen attached to Dad Billy's body: "I'm not going to pull the cord until you convince me that I should let you marry my daughter." I'd be calling that wedding off the minute we hit the ground.
Owen: "I love her! I dog sit! I tip 20%! I'll never have sex with her! Pull the cord!" Billy: "That's my cock, you idiot!" Geez, Owen, at least wait until you land.
Next up: a tattoo parlor, but Owen is too sensitive for more than one prick.
Next: a bar. Owen gushes about how cool Dad Billy is. Even his smell! "You're so lucky you get to have sex with him," he tells Lily. Maybe if you ask him nicely, he'll invite you to join in.
Billy runs into the Scary Rich Lady, and assures her that Owen is an idiot. He has no idea what's going on.
Scene 7: Next day? Owen at work, praising Billy to high heaven. Just ask him out, Dude. You won't be the first guy to dump a girl for her Dad.
Suddenly two robbers burst in, their faces covered, their voices disguised. They force Owen to the bank vault. Somehow they know about his vocal security bypass (he has to sing "She left me roses by the stairs.")
Owen recognizes Billy's distinctive scent! The robbers are his in-laws! On the way out, they call Owen by name and toss him the ink-packet, blasting him with pink dye.
Scene 8: While the police take statements, Owen remembers that he was bragging about being bank manager yesterday, and he told Lily the code! Uh-oh, they will think he's in on the robbery. Then Parker arrives -- with her parents.
They tag along while Owen is interviewed by an FBI Agent. Of course, he can't say anything with the two bank robbers right there. The Agent ask how they knew the access code. Owen starts crying.
Scene 9: On the way home, the Parent/Outlaws force Owen to sit between them. He is terrified.
At home, he showers, then calls his security guard bud Tyree for advice: "Don't do anything. First, they'll kill you. Second, you gave them the codes; you're the mastermind!"
Left: Pierce Brosnan's butt.
Next, he tries to tell his own parents, but they're clueless. He suggests they do their speciality of asking highly invasive personal questions when they all have lunch.
I'm out of room, so I'll stop there.
Beefcake: None. But Owen talks about his penis a lot. In case you haven't seen it lately, here's a close up.
Heterosexism: Owen and Parker smooch 30,000 times. What do you expect in a rom-com caper?
Gay Characters: Maybe the Storage Guy.
Reyn Doi appears in one scene, as the entertainment at the Scary Rich Lady's house. Scary Lady explains that he is "like the Kanye of the former Soviet Bloc." Not enough screen time to determine if the character is gay.
Gay Subtext: Big time, although the scene in the top photo is from another movie. Owen has quite a crush on Billy, even kissing him. Billy backs away in surprise, and Owen explains: "Well, you kissed me when we first met," "Yes, but I didn't use tongue." I wouldn't be surprised if Adam was actually playing Owen as bi.
My Grade: Simplistic plot, but the one-liners and physical comedy made the movie much funnier than I expected from the reviews. Adam Devine appears to be made of rubber, and he will do anything for a laugh. It's like watching an old-time silent movie comedian like Buster Keaton. The gay subtext was a plus, but points off for the lack of overt LGBTQ representation. B+.
See also: Bumper in Berlin
Why Him?: Adam Devine hooks up with Griffin Gluck over discussions of jizz
Workaholics Episode 5.5: Penis jokes and buddy bonding at a gay pride party