"My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": Jesse finds out about Abraham and Ash




Previous: "Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

October 18, 2025:

When Jesse walked into the media room, he saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on the big tv -- drag queens in the Australian outback -- and Pontius with his arms wrapped around someone.  They were kissing.

For a moment he thought it was a girl, proving that this "bi" stuff was just a phase.  But no, it was Stacy, the long-haired femme kid who was shot and almost killed at the Gator Farm Massacre.  How did he and Pontius manage to find each other?   

Sure, Stacy was a nice boy -- maybe too nice for his asshole son.  But after Kelvin coming out, then Cousin Karl, then his friend Levi, plus both Daddy and Uncle Baby Billy mentioning gay romances in their past, and now Pontius. Who was next,  BJ?  Aunt May-May?  Jesse was getting a little tired of being an ally.

“Hey, cool off," he called down.  "Give your tongues a rest.  Is that all you ever do?”


Pontius raised his head.  “Of course not," he said with an evil grin.  "We do a lot of stuff. Wanna watch?”

Jesse had already caught Pontius going down on Stacy -- in the hospital, of all places!  He didn't need a repeat. "Don't be a smartass.  You gonna go to the Queer Youth Game Night at Kelvin's house, or you gonna stay here and make out?"

"Stay here and make out?" Pontius asked, looking expectantly at Stacy.

"No, we're going. It's important for us to socialize with other queer youth."  He stood, took Pontius' hand, and pulled him to his feet.

"You're always going to get you rway" Pontius said, smiling.  "If only you weren't so gosh-darned cute."

Gosh-darned?  Jesse thought.  Maybe Stacy is a good influence on him.  

"One more for the road," Stacy said, "And then we'd better get to that party."  He leaned up and kissed Pontius.

"Disgusting display!" 


It was Vance Simkins, the megachurch pastor whose homophobic rants almost pushed Kelvin back into the closet, before he rallied, came out on national television, and won the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  

 “Who let you in?” Jesse asked, frowning.  "I defeated you in that duel, remember?  So stay on your own side of the state."

“The security station was letting everybody through, if they said they were coming for the party.  What party?"

“Kelvin and Keefe's Game Night," Jesse said, omitting the "queer."

But Vance caught on anyhow.  "Good thing I dropped by.  Is this one of them decadent parties with little holes in the wall, so you can stick your dick through and anybody who wants can suck it?  And guys hanging in leather stirrups, so anybody who wants can screw them?”

“It’s just board games,” Stacy said.

"But the party you're planning sounds fun, too," Pontius added.  "Can Stace and I get an invitation?"

Vance grinned.  "Well, if it’s perfectly innocent, you won’t mind if I come along.”

“It’s for queer youth and their allies under age 25," Jesse said.  "Now, you’re obviously queer, but you haven't been 25 since...The Battle of Fort Sumter?”


"Besides," Stacy added, "A lot of the kids are traumatized by growing up in homophobic churches.  Some are closeted, worried that their parents will reject them, even kick them out of the house.  It's supposed to a safe space -- no  homophobes allowed."

“I am not a homophobe, young lady, or fella, or whatever you think you are.  I just want to see the kinds of games homo...um, queer youth play.  Or should I call the police and tell them about the underaged homosexual sodomy going on in Kelvin's little den of iniquity?"

Jesse sighed.  He was probably bluffing, but... "Ok, Vance, you talked me into it.  We'll go over and check it out. Boys, you go on ahead.  We'll be there in a bit."

There were only two ways to get into the party: they had to either turn 21 again, or bring food.  Jesse dragged Vance to the kitchen, and they loaded up the two trays of lemon bars that Amber was planning to bring to the Marital Problem Group tomorrow -- he would drop by the all-night bakery and replace them later.  

They had to park on the lawn at Kelvin's house.  There were about a dozen cars parked outside, plus two church vans.  Assuming that they carpooled, Jesse estimated that there were about fifty teenagers and young adults at the party.  Hopefully none of them were kissing!

Kelvin's boyfriend Keefe answered the door with his fists raised.  "Pontius and Stacy told us you would be trying to get in.  But we don't allow homophobes."

"Down, boy!" Vance said with a laugh. "I promise to be on my best behavior."

"We're just dropping off some snacks for the group.  Two dozen lemon bars -- Amber and our housekeeper Tanya made them."

Keefe looked suspicious, but he dropped his fists.  "Well, I do love a good lemon bar. Come on in."


They carried the trays from the foyer into the formal parlor, where about twenty people were sitting in small groups.  Kelvin, leading what sounded like a Gay Trivia game, nodded at them.

"Hey, Buddy," Vance said, "Isn't that your son Geraldine?  The one who wants to be a preacher?"

It was definitely Gideon and his friend Clay, the Classics major -- really, who majored in Latin? -- sitting with their backs to them, playing a "How well do you know your partner" game with two girls, one with pink hair. 

"They must be here as allies.  See, they're with their girlfriends."  Why hadn't Gideon mentioned having a girlfriend?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

The cringe cock of "Angels and Insects"


 I don't usually use the contemporary term "cringe" as an adjective.  It's from a later generation, so it feels weird, but it is completely appropriate to describe the famous penis scene in Angels and Insects (1995).

Everyone in West Hollywood saw Angels and Insects when it premiered, due to the rumor of the penis.  Male frontal nudity was vanishingly rare in mainstream movies in the 1990s, and rumor had it that this guy was actually aroused!

After 30 years, I've forgotten everything about the movie except for the cringe penis and people actually being insects, so I looked up a plot synopsis.

In Victorian England, entomologist William Addison (Mark Rylance, top photo) gets a job cataloging the insect collection of baronet Sir Harold Alabaster (Jeremy Kemp).  

The name Alabaster makes me cringe.


When you search for n*de photosof Jeremy Kemp, this pops up.  I doubt that it's the same one.

Yes, I'm stalling.











William, of course, falls in love with Sir Harold's daughter Eugenia, an insect-obsessed young lady who dresses like a bug.  Actually, all of the women do, for a symbolic reason that I don't quite understand, but the movie won an Oscar for best costumes.




Eugenia and William get married and have some kids, but he is bewildered by her bedroom behavior, coldly rejecting him one moment and being voracious the next, so he starts an affair with a servant girl named Matty.

Left: Mark Rylance has shown his d*k on screen several times, but in this movie he just gets aroused under the sheets.


More after the break, including the cringe p*enis

Nick Arapoglou: A Hasidic boy, a straight drag queen, a gay Muppet, the Sex Toy Teen's Dad. With his backside and a n*de Chris Evans


In Righteous Gemstones Episode 3.4, the Sex Toy Guy (Nick Vardakas) attends Keefe's Ice Cream and Wieners Party with his Dad (Nick Arapoglou).  Biker Clarence happens to be there, and  tells them that Keefe bought out his adult store's entire inventory of "butt-buzzers."  Afraid of being outed, Keefe says "that's just something we used to do with the kids." Great idea, buddy.  Now they don't think you're gay, they think you're into kids.

Later, the parents meet with Kelvin to complain that Keefe is "weird" and not qualified to be a youth leader. Dad continues: "With all the rumors swirling around you, can't you see how strange this all looks?"


"There's rumors about me?" Kelvin asks, shocked.  

Jack: And then Kelvin said...he said...
Karen: That no one knows he's gay!

The real-life Nick Arapoglou (a gay ally) was born in Huntington, New York, but moved to Atlanta as a child.  He was a Drama Club Kid in high school, appearing in an al-fresco production of Midsummer Night's Dream (in a real forest).  

He received a B.A. in drama from Indiana University in 2007, then returned to Atlanta, where he became a mainstay of the theater scene.

Nick's theatrical performances include:


A closeted gay guy in Speech & Debate (2009)

A straight guy in the queer-themed Spring Awakening (2011). 

My Name is Asher Lev (2012), based on the classic coming-of-age novel by Chaim Potok, about a Hasidic Jewish boy torn between his religion and his art.

The Gifts of the Magi (2012), based on the O. Henry story, where Nick met his future wife Caroline.

Bobby Strong in Urinetown: The Musical (2013).

Romeo in Romeo and Juliet (2015)


The Toxic Avenger (2016), based on the 1984 movie about a slime-covered superhero.

A straight Elvis impersonator turned drag performer in The Legend of Georgia McBride (2017).

Straight Muppet Princeton and gay Muppet Rod in Avenue Q (2023), which won him the Suzi Bass Award for best actor in a musical.






Plus he has 33 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with Frat Guy in the short Married Sex (2009) and Fashion School Kid (probably queer coded) in a 2011 episode of Single Ladies.  

More after the break

"Peacemaker," Episode 2.1: A new hunk with a bulge, a nude Frank Grillo, a bisexual orgy, and nine DC Comics fanpages


The HBO MAX Instagram posted some photos of an extremely handsome and muscular guy with an impressive bulge: waving as he arrives, dressed in the uniform of a fast-food worker, being criticized by John Cena, and spurting water in his underwear.   Since he's being advertised, he must be a new character in second season of The Peacemaker, a dark comedy about a squad of misfit superheroes in the DC Comics Universe.  To find out, I'll review Episode 2.1: "The Ties that Grind."  



Scene 1
: Early in the morning, Peacemaker's semi-sentient pet eagle needs to do his business.  It's too cold to let him outside, so Peacemaker takes him to his interdimensional vortex (nice bulge, buddy.  Is having a nice bulge a requirement for being cast on this show?).  Wandering around, he finds his Dad's old office...and his Dad, who says "What's wrong?  You look like you've seen a ghost." This horrifies him.

DC Universe: Dad, the racist supervillain White Dragon, has appeared in "Suicide Squad."  Years ago, he murdered Peacemaker's brother Keith.  After years of abuse and murder attempts, Peacemaker had to kill him, and now feels guilty. 

Scene 2: Peacemaker is living in his late Dad's horrible house in a run-down suburban neighborhood.  He is picked up by his friend Leota Adebayo.  

DC Universe: A member of the Peacemaker's team in Season 1, Leota is the estranged daughter of Amanda Walker, an ARGUS agent who founded the Suicide Squad (inept superheroes, including Peacemaker, assigned to missions that were sure to result in their deaths).

Leota shows Peacemaker the business cards for her new private security agency, and complains about her girlfriend.  Lesbian representation!

Peacemaker complains about being bullied by other metahumans (beings with super powers): "Why you wearing a disco ball on your head?  Did you take a vow to be a douchebag?"  

"I don't want to be a joke anymore," he tells her.  "I want to be a real hero."  You're in a dark comedy, so....


Scene 3:
They arrive at a deserted toy store in a mini-mall, which turns out to be the secret headquarters of the Justice Gang.  Peacemaker is applying to join.  Green Lantern and Hawkgirl, and their financial backer Maxwell Lord interview him.

 DC Universe: members of this team previously appeared in "Superman" (2025), "Green Lantern" (2011), and the tv series "Smallville" and "Supergirl."

Left: Maxwell Lord is played by Sean Gunn, who is gay but married to a woman.

First question: "What skills could you bring to the Gang...besides blowing dudes?"  Is that a homophobic slur, or is Peacemaker bi, or both?

Next question: "Metahumans try to avoid violence.  Why have you murdered so many people?"

"Well, some of them deserved it."

Peacemaker talks about childhood traumas and the culture of violence instilled by his supervillain father, but they're discussing whether their butts are big enough and ignoring him.  When they get back to the interview, they call him a sociopath, too violent to work for the Justice Squad.  He angrily storms out.

Back in the car, he tells Leota: "Apparently one of my skills is sucking dick...that's not a put-down, it's a fucking compliment."  Either gay sex is reprehensible or it's not, dude.  You can't have it both ways.  

Scene 4: Peacemaker's Girlfriend is applying for a job at the NSA (National Security Agency).  But the psychiatrist evaluating her complains that she is suffering from a virulent form of toxic masculinity.  She calls him a "cunt" and threatens to beat him up, but that only makes him more certain that she is too violent to work for the NSAShe storms out, screams, and attacks her car.

DC Universe: Emilia Harcourt, a member of Peacemaker's team in Season 1, has appeared in "Suicide Squad," "Black Adam," and "Shazam."  She worked with Amanda Walker (see Leota, above), but became the Suicide Squad's ally, and was blackballed.  The episode recap shows Peacemaker holding her hand as she is dying, but apparently it was just a tease. 

She drives home to her shabby apartment.  Peacemaker meets her.  Close up of the pile of past-due notices on her kitchen table, as she complains that because she has been blackballed by ARGUS, she can't find a job with the CIA, the FBI, the DIA, the DHS, the NSA, or Athlete's Foot.

Next they discuss what happened "on the party boat": she was drunk, it was a mistake, she doesn't want to be his girlfriend. (I just assumed that they were dating.  Looks like it was just a hookup).  

And when are we going to get to the hot guy introduced on the HBO MAX Instagram?


Scene 5
: Rejected by the Justice Gang and dumped by his sort-of-girlfriend on the same day, Peacemaker gets high and invites some people over for naked dancing and sex.  It's 90% naked ladies, but there are a few naked guys here and there.  Almost all of the sex is male-female, but there's a closeup of two women kissing, and two guys starting to kiss in the background

Peacemaker keeps his clothes on and rejects the come-ons of a man and a woman. So why did he invite them over?

More after the break