Browsing for a movie to watch this week, we found Men (2022) on HBO MAX. Imagining musclemen lounging by the pool, and maybe the old porn magazine Advocate Men, we eagerly clicked "play." Without any prior research...
The Landlord: Young, extremely successful business person Harper Marlowe drives 4 1/2 hours from London to a village in Herefordshire, where she will be renting a huge mansion from landlord Geoffrey, who has bad teeth (an important character trait). He is shocked that Harper can't play the piano, and upset that she reserved the mansion as "Mrs.," but there's no husband with her.
The Screaming Being: Harper takes a walk through the woods, and finds a huge tunnel going nowhere. Suddenly a being appears at the other end, and runs toward her, screaming in anger or terror. She runs,
The Naked Man: On the way back, she walks through an abandoned village. There's a naked man following her: a mid-40s bear type with a hairy chest, a little belly, and a nice cock.
She runs back to her mansion, but the Naked Man follows. He peers in the windows, pulls apples from the tree, and shoves his hand through the mail slot, trying to get in. He appears unable to speak. He is not threatening, just curious, as if he's never seen a house -- or a human being -- before.
Harper calls the police. They arrive, handcuff the guy, and lead him off.
The Green Man: Harper takes another walk, and stumbles across an old church. Strangely, the altar contains a stone carving of the Green Man on one side, and on the other a man giving birth.
The Back Story: Harper kneels, starts sobbing, and flashes to her back story.
In an elegant apartment near the Tower Bridge in London, Harper tells her husband (Paapa Essideu) that she wants a divorce. He begs, pleads, yells, and threatens suicide. Finally he punches her, and she kicks him out. A few moments later, he comes plummeting past the window. Apparently he broke into the apartment upstairs, and either jumped or tried to climb down to her balcony, and slipped. Either way, he glares at her accusingly as he falls.
The Mentally Disabled Boy: Outside the church, Harper encounters a person wearing a creepy Marilyn Monroe mask. The mask comes off -- it's a mentally disabled boy, asking her to play hide and seek. She refuses, so he calls her nasty names.
More after the break