I don't have a lot of luck with Britcoms. The references have me scurrying to the internet, the jokes a little too droll, and I can never tell if the actions are meant to be sitcom exaggerations or over-the-top bizarre. But I'm checking out Mr. Bigstuff, which just dropped on Hulu, because it stars Ryan Sampson, gay in real life and 5'4".
"Bigstuff" is one of those culturally specific references. There's no definition online. Does it mean that the guy is important, a "big shot," or that he's a "big dog," gifted beneath the belt?
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Episode 1, Scene 1: Glen (Ryan Sampson) and his girlfriend parking in the car outside a horribly decrepit office building. She consoles him for being unable to perform. It's been a long time. Maybe he's not into you, lady. Or not into ladies at all. But they're still getting married in 100 days.
Scene 2: Glen at his horrible, soul-destroying job as a carpet salesman. He's pointing out some boring heterosexual stuff to a boy-girl couple, when the Manager comes by. He asks for a promotion. In response, the Manager pretends to shoot him. He falls to the ground, "dead." I guess that's a no?
Left: The Manager is played by Adrian Scarborough, who I thought was in The Thursday Murder Club. He's not, and I deleted my review due to low pageviews.
Meanwhile, a hand smokes cigarettes and drinks beer. Eventually it turns into a burly bloke, who bursts into the carpet store and asks the receptionist if she's seen "this geezer," displaying a photo of a schoolboy. In the U.S. a "geezer" is old. She calls the Manager. The situation escalates to Burly Guy choking him and demanding to know where the "geezer" is.
Glen hides behind some display cases, then runs out and drives home.
Left: Burly Guy is played by Danny Dyer, who is straight but played a gay character in Borstal Boy (2000) and the father of a gay teen on East Enders.
Scene 3: At home, the Girlfriend from Scene 1 is lying in bed. She explains that there was a gas leak at work, so everyone had to leave, and he explains that he just popped in to get his sandwiches. I expect that there's a man hiding in the closet. Nope: "Get in here, you c*nt." In the U.S., that term is extremely offensive, and it refers only to ladies, but I think here it's just a mild expletive, like "dope."
Left: Glenn's butt, from Plebes.
They discuss boring heterosexual stuff as Glen undresses (no beefcake). She tries to get him to do sexy stuff, but he refuses. You're in bed with your lady at 10:00 on a workday. Why would you not, unless you're not into ladies?
Next Glen drinks something from a water glass by the bedside, then starts to gag. Girlfriend apologizes -- she didn't expect him to drink it (then why was it on his side of the bed?). They're both very upset.
We never learn what it was. Maybe Metamucil, or a lady supplement?
She rushes downstairs to fetch him some tea -- and finds the Burly Guy sitting on the couch!
Scene 4: Glen throws the disgusting liquid at him, and Girlfriend runs for the pepper spray. "You can't be here! Get out of my house!"
"I just want to talk, Glen!" he exclaims.
Girlfriend; "You know each other?" Big Reveal #1
"No. Not really...I mean, I used to." This upsets Burly Guy, and he leaves.
Left: Burly Guy's butt, from Plebes.
Scene 5: Back at work, everyone is gossiping about what happened earlier "with that geezer and the Manager." Is that a common phrase in Britain for someone under age 80? A woman is upset that she wasn't around to see him "get shanked." In the U.S., "shanked" means being stabbed.
The Manager calls Glen, crying: "You need to get here immediately! I'm sorry -- I didn't know! I can't do this!" Burly Guy comes onto the phone and tells him: "Dagenham, by the water, where he died. You know the spot." Darn, I thought they were old boyfriends.
More after the break
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Scene 6: The subtitles say Dagenheim, which sounds Norwegian, but it's actually Dagenham, a terrible industrial suburb of London, right on the Thames.
Glen arrives and yells "Don't do this! Don't kill the Manager!"
"Kill him? I've just given him a cheese twist and a flapjack." Big Reveal #2.
Flapjacks are pancakes in the U.S., but in Britain they're rolled oat bars, like granola bars.
Wait -- if it was an amicable meeting, why was the Manager crying? They're leaving out too many "it was all a misunderstanding" explanations.
Burly Guy kidnap the Manager, but they've bonded since. "He's a lovely fella. He's been telling me about the problems he's having with his wife" Heterosexual identity established
Glen wants to leave without hearing the reason for Burly Guy's visit because "I've got a nice life now. After eight years, what gives you the right to come back."
It sounds very much as if Burly Guy is an ex-boyfriend, and Glen has adopted a "respectable" heterosexual lifestyle. But no: Burly Guy is Glen's brother. I don't know if the "obvious" ex-boyfriend stuff is deliberate queerbaiting or not. Big Reveal #3
They argue. Glen argues that he "took care of her," but Burly Guy complains that he took off to Essex and ignored her. Either their Mum, or a dog.
Scene 7: Another Big Reveal: I figured "where he died" would be a place where they accidentally killed their childhood chum, but it's actually where their Dad died. Big Reveal #4
Glen finally allows Burly Guy to ask his question: he wants the phone number of Uncle Steve. Not their biological uncle, Dad's friend who they called Uncle Steve. So, a secret boyfriend? Burly Guy misses him and wants to get in touch. Couldn't you have just texted Glen and asked for it, instead of invading his house and kidnapping his boss?
"I don't have it."
"Ok, then, thanks anyway." Just like that?
More reveals: Glen discovers that Burly Guy is carrying Dad's ashes around, and that he's living in his car. "You can stay with us for a few days, as long as you promise there's nothing dodgy going on. Swear on Dad."
Burly Guy doesn't want to swear on Dad's ashes, so Glen runs away with the biscuit tin. They fight; Burly Guy finally agrees. But he slaps Glen for being "such a f*king bitch," and Glen responds by throwing Dad's ashes into the river.
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Scene 8: They drop the manager off at his house and discuss the story they're going to give the Girlfriend. "I told her you worked for Dad's hauling company, but you lost your way, fell into addiction, and were working as a prostitute."
"The proper term is sex work," Burly Guy corrects him.
"Well, I didn't think you'd be back. Don't worry, I'll think of something."
They pick up food (Girlfriend's favorite, of course. It's impossible on tv to serve anything but someone's favorite). Back at the house, the Girlfriend is sitting on the couch, singing karaoke.
She does not take the news well. "Wait -- he's a sex worker. Are you two...." Everyone is disgusted by the implication. Finally Glen reveals that they're brothers, but Girlfriend doesn't believe him.
They convince her by performing the act they did at the Caverny Island Talent Show in 1994 (it involves dancing with spoons). Canvey Island is not an island, it's a town on the Thames about 30 miles east of London.
Scene 9: Burly Guy sneaks into the bathroom with Dad's ashes, which he retrieved from the river. But the biscuit tin actually contains a cell phone. He yells: "I'm done. Call them off. It's over." So he has a nefarious purpose after all? Big Reveal #5
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Beefcake: None. We see a cock in Episode 2, and Glen's butt later on.
Gay Characters: None specified here, but in Season 2 the Manager comes out, and Burly Guy ineptly tries to help him get "some cock" through a parked-car hookup and then a glory hole.
There are many gay teases. Glen struggles to perform in bed, Burly Guy acts like he's an ex-boyfriend, it's implied that Uncle and Dad were boyfriends. During their fight, Burly Guy pushes Uncle (Clive Russell, left) up against the window, and a passerby thinks that they're having sex.
Heterosexism: None. Glen and the Girlfriend don't seem at all attracted to each other. Burly Guy doesn't display any heterosexual interest until Episode 4, and never gets a girlfriend.
My Grade: So many sinister-seeming acts and statements turned out to be innocent, so many misunderstandings could have been cleared up with a single word, like "Dad" instead of "he." It was like an episode of Lost. But Glen is cute, and Burly Guy isn't homophobic. B.
Left: A misdirection that caused an internet uproar. It's not really Danny Dyer's dick.
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See also: Brassic: The top ten beefy, brawling Midlands blokes, with some bonus Brummie knobs
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