Northern Exposure, Episode 1.2: Progressive homophobia, three guys in a sauna, and much ado about a toilet.

 


We're watching old shows that we missed back in the day, like Northern Exposure (1990-95), about a young doctor forced to relocate from New York City to Cecily, Alaska, population 814.  It received 39 Emmy nominations and two Golden Globes, but I never watched back then because I figured it was just another "disease of the week" drama, and because of the opening: an ear-grating harmonica plays while a baby moose ambles down Main Street.

Three episodes in, and it turns out I was correct: it's a "disease of the week" drama with laconic jokes. Trigger warning: the first three episodes feature gunshot wounds,  cancer, death, and suicide.  And two different old guys who refuse to follow the doctor's instructions because they've always been independent.  The jokes are mostly of the "this town is so small!" and "it's so isolated!" sort.  

Joel (Rob Morrow, left) thought he was being sent to Anchorage, and  complains bitterly about being tricked into moving to a "hellhole" where you have to chop your own firewood and no one has ever heard of a bagel.  He does this in front of townsfolk, but it's ok, many of them are refugees from the Lower 48. Some came to escape from big cities, and some came for a visit and got stuck.  It's like "Hotel California": you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Episode 2 does something unheard of in 1990, in the heart of the AIDS pandemic and homophobic backlash: it mentioned LGBT people! Actually, 18 tv episodes in 1990 featured gay characters, but they were usually AIDS patients, murderers, or making a pass at a straight person. This episode was praised for its "progressive, gay-positive" message. Let's see how well it holds up in 2024.


Plot 1
features Ed (Darren E. Burroughs), an Indian youth, who is trying to be Joels' best friend, even though Joel treats him with unabashed contempt (but Joel treats everyone in town with unabaslhed contempt, so how could he tell?)..  His problem: Uncle Anku has blood in his urine, but refuses to see a Western doctor. He was a medicine man for 40 years; he believes in traditional Indian medicine.  

 Ed invites Joel over for dinner (KFC, flown in from Anchorage) and a sauna, hoping that he can convince Uncle Anku to get an examination.  Nope.  Joel visits several more times -- maybe he just likes being half-naked in the sauna with other guys?  Still no.  Finally he lays down the law: come in for an examination, or no more visits.  Psych!  Uncle Anku has seen a specialist in Anchorage!  Why keep it a secret, and put Joel and your family through so much anxiety?

This plotline has some gay subtexs.  Ed's interest in Joel seems more profound than "I'm lonely, and need a friend."

Plot 2: features Joel's toilet.  It doesn't work, but his landlord/love interest Maggie is still in the "I hate you!  You're arrogant!" stage, and refuses to fix it because what idiot doesn't know how to fix a toilet?  Oh yeah, prissy, elite, entitled, arrogant, sexy...um I mean arrogant New York snobs.  Joel tries to hire someone, reads a book on plumbing, and so on.  Eventually Maggie gives in.  Tenant law: you have to provide a working toilet. 


Plot 3:
Chris in the Morning (John Corbett, left), the radio DJ, tells us that when he was 15, he broke into a house intending to steal stuff, and found a book that changed his life: Walt Whitman's poetry.  Later, in juvenile hall, a guard beat him up for reading it, yelling that "unnatural, pornographic, homoerotic poetry" was forbidden. Chris hadn't realized that Whitman "enjoyed the pleasures of other men," and had to rethink his habit of beating up "queers."

Minnefield (Barry Corbin), who literally owns the town, hears the broadcast, and is irate. Making disgusting accusations about America's greatest poet!  He throws Chris through a plate glass window and fires him. Hey, that's criminal assault!.  He takes over the morning radio himself, and devotes it to "normal" music, like the soundtrack to Kiss Me, Kate (hey, Cole Porter was gay!).  Then Oklahoma! and Carousel.  The townspeople hate it; they prefer Chris's philosophical musings.  So the macho, homophobic guy likes gay-coded show tunes, har har.

Interestingly, a review of the episode calls Barry Corbin a "Broadway Superstar," but I can't find him listed in anything but Henry V.

At a town meeting to complain about the new radio format, Minnefield stands his ground: "Chris made a mistake, and he has to pay for it.  A breach is a breach." Seriously, why doesn't anyone call Minnefield out on his homophobia?  Do they all agree that it's wrong to mention gay people on the radio?  They demand that Chris be re-hired.  Nope!

After consulting with Joel, Minnefield gets back on the radio to explain.  "Whitman was a pervert, but he was the greatest poet America ever produced," and we shouldn't try to destroy him.  He mentions several other American heroes with personality faults: alcoholic, gambler, crossdresser...but we aren't allowed to discuss the terrible things they did.  We need to concentrate on the positive.  We need heroes.   "If Whitman were standing here today, and someone called him a fruit or a queer, that person would have to answer to me." So you're saying that it's ok to know that he was gay, but not to disrespect him by aying that he was gay?  

This, by the way, is a heartfelt speech, telling the audience what they should take away from the episode: being gay is horrible, but we should ignore it, because "we need heroes."   From the vantage point of 2024, it seems incredibly homophobic, but in 1990 it was a plea for tolerance.

Chris in the Morning apologizes. He didn't mean to defame Walt Whitman, but now he understands that it was wrong to mention that he was gay.  He gets his job back.

And the town library/general store has a run on requests for Walt Whitman's poetry.  


Beefcake: Joel, Ed, and Uncle Anku in the sauna.  Joel in the shower.

Gay Characters: Of course not, although in a few years, the town will host the second gay wedding on network television.

Homophobia:  Everyone seems to agree that calling someone gay is a defamation.  Even Joel the New Yorker.

My Grade: Even taking into account its historic context, this was a very difficult episode to watch.  And that grating harmonica solo opening!  D.



Above: Rob Morrow's butt in Private Resort. Left; Grant Goodeve, who plays Maggie's boyfriend (before she dumps him).

Set in the same time period:


Kelton's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: James Dean, Orson Welles, Bamm-Bamm Rubble, and a nude Pontius


This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  As far as I know, he's over 18 in all but #2.  There are also some photos of his dad James and a few friends. 

1. "Punching or licking.  Your choice."







2. Boating at dusk. I like the cityscape in the background.









3. Kelton playing Orson Welles in a Halloween broadcast. Why do you need to be in costume for a radio play?














4. Pontius is interrupted in media res









4. Back to War of the Worlds. Burgers with the cast.











5. A random photo with no connection to anyone in War of the Worlds, especially not the drama major on the left.













 6. James in Red

















More Kelton, and maybe more James, after the break

Kelton's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Chanting, wrestling, growing a beard, going blond. With some grown-up dicks



This is a collection of cute/cool and hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  As far as I know, he's over 18 in all but #2.  There are also some photos of his dad and a few friends.  

1. "When I go blond, I go all the way"



2, Kelton and his dad James practice Sokka Gakkai Buddhism, where you chant "Nam myoho renge kyo" and learn compassion, truth, and optimism: "We need to be able to continually direct our minds in a bright, positive, and beneficial direction and help those around us to do so, too."




3. Kelton and James at the WBC Main Event in New Orleans.  A blond Buddhist boxing fan.











4. Fam graduation.  Paul is now studying architecture at the Savannah School of Art and Design.
















5. Random photo that has absolutely nothing to do with Kelton, James, or Paul.










6. Growing a beard

More after the break











"Nobody Wants This": Rabbi and "bad date" podcaster fall in love, with a gay dad and a lesbian best friend

 


I certainly didn't want to see a tv show called Nobody Wants This, a romcom about a rabbi and an agnostic girl who fall in love.  But I needed a half hour series, and it stars Adam Brody, who has played gay characters, and Kristen Bell, whose character was bisexual-vague in The Good Place.  So maybe there will be some gay representation.

Scene 1: Joanne, Kristen Bell, runs away from a guy during their first date because he starts crying about how he lost his grandmother -- when he was 12!   Switch to her podcast, where she asks "Am I the asshole?"  30 minutes of the date, and she learned that Grandma was a Rockette, and spent 42 years with her soulmate, William.  A little much.

Sister Morgan: You always do this.  You meet a nice guy, and find something wrong with him.  It's like you don't want to be in a relationship. Who wants to watch a podcast about Joanne's relationship trouble?  Oh, wait, this is a whole tv show about it.


Scene 2: 
Switch to Noah (Adan Brody) talking to his brother, Sasha, Timothy Simmons, who is heterosexual -- "Is Esther cheating on me?"

 "No, you have to stop letting Mom cut your hair. It's dumb."  Inside, they prepare to watch the game with a lady named Beck, whom Noah kisses.  

She was snooping around and found an engagement ring in a locked drawer, so she started planning the wedding.  Noah wanted to ask, so it would be romantic. Besides, invasion of privacy.  They argue; he dumps her.



Scene 3:
 Jeanne, Morgan, and an old guy, Michael Hitchcock, having dinner.  Wait, there's an old lady on the other side of the booth; it's the anniversary of the day Mom and Dad got divorced!  

Mom explains to the cute waiter, Keith Walker, that they were ecstatically happy for 32 years, but then he became "a bit confused about his sexuality."  Oh, no, not another "you're just confused."  That's ancient!

She continues: "It's very trendy to be gay these days, so he switched." 

Jeanne and her sister cut her off before she says anything else stupid.

Later, Jeanne gets a phone call from a Bigwig, who wants to "talk acquisition, a spin-off, and a book deal.  Just keep having wacky relationship problems."  Uh-oh, Girlfriend is finding true love later this episode.

Scene 4: Jeanne in bed, thinking of podcast ideas, when her best friend Ashley calls to invite her to a dinner party tonight.

"Who's going to be there?" Jeanne asks with a frown. "Bunch of lesbians?"  Why don't you like LGBT people, Jeanne?  Angry because your dad turned gay?

Best friend Ashley assures her that some heterosexuals are invited, including some men that she can date and find something wrong with for the podcast: a divorced dude with a kid, so you can make fun of him for being a bad dad; a finance guy who can't talk about anything else; and a rabbi, so you can make circumcision jokes. 

Jeanne is excited.  "They sound awful!  I'll be there!"


Scene 5:
 The party, in a huge mansion...um, middle class house.  Mostly women, a heterosexual male-female couple, a fruity guy flirting with a woman.  

Jeanne kisses best friend Ashley on the mouth, and gets rejected. "Ewww...not gay for you." Wait, you dislike gay people, remember? Or maybe you hate everybody, so it's not homophobia, it's misanthropy/misogyny? 

Next she sidles up to Noah, who thinks she's going through a crisis.  "No, I'm just in constant need of attention."  He has the same problem, constantly needing people to tell him he's cute. 

That reminds her -- "There's a rabbi here!  Let's find him so we can make fun of him!"  She points out a bearded guy on the other side of the room.

As everyone goes in to dinner, Joanne seeks out Best Friend Ashley.  "I think I'm really into the Divorced Guy!"  

"Good.  He's a horrible person, a condescending asshole, perfect for your podcast."  Funny, that doesn't sound like Noah....

Big Reveal after the break. Caution: Explicit.