Corey Sevier: Dog's best friend, Greek god, Yoga mogul, and shirtless Christmas romcoms. And maybe Peter Brady


You might remember Canadian actor Corey Sevier from the 1997-98 reboot of Lassie.  I never saw it, or the original (1954-74): the melancholy "lost dog" intro is depressing, and who wants to watch a "dog in peril" series?  

I didn't see Summer of the Monkeys (1998), either.  A guy on the Canadian prairie in 1910 adopts four monkeys so he'll have enough money to buy a horse?  Sorry, I went to see Star Trek: Insurrection instead.

Corey's next role of note was Black Sash (2003): a disgraced ex-cop runs a martial arts dojo for teens.  It only lasted for seven episodes.







And North Shore (2004-2005), a Fox sleaze soap opera about women walking around in bikinis at a hotel in Hawaii.  There were some cute guys, too, but this shot will give you an idea of what you had to endure to see them. 

An annoyingly heterosexist entry into young adulthood.





Some minor "show your pecs" roles followed, like Aquaman (2006), with Justin Hartley as the teenager with superpowers, and Surf School (2006), which gives teens who have no surfing experience a week to learn what they need to win the championship.  Say what?







In this shot from Gospel of Deceit (2006), it looks like Corey is in bed with a guy, but the plot synopsis on the IMDB says that a preacher's wife (Alexandra Paul) is having an affair with handyman Cory.

I checked the original movie: It's Alexandra Paul, who uses she/her pronouns.  Lady definitely has a masculine gender presentation: triceps, no breasts, a man's haircut.




The first movie with Corey that I actually saw was The Immortals (2011): I was drawn in by the Greek gods, everyone from Zeus (Luke Evans) to Poseidon (Kellan Lutz).  Corey played Apollo.  Of course, the story was ridiculous, with no connection to any Greek myth.

Left: Matthew G. Taylor as the King's Guard

The IMDB says that Corey is known for Conduct Unbecoming (2011): a soldier is charged with killing civilians in Afghanistan. Of course I wouldn't see that.

In Awaken (2012), Corey meets the Girl of His Deams.  The only problem: she's dead.





And The Northlander (2016), which sounds like Mad Max: crazy-looking people travel through a post-Apocalyptic desert in search of something or other.

Two episodes of Psych: 

Brody, a contestant on a dating game

The model Bryan Frou, who might be gay. A Corey first!

More after the break

"The Breakthrough": Swedish murder mystery with Peter's prick, some Stockholm hunks, and a lot of sobbing.


 In keeping with my new policy of just clicking on whatever a streaming service thinks "I'll LOVE!",  without doing any research, I clicked on The Breakthrough, on Netflix: a detective tracks down a killer, with the help of "an eccentric genealogist."  So they'll fall in love, or on the off-chance that they are both men, there will be some buddy-bonding.  

At least it's in Swedish, so I can use some of the photos from my trips to Stockholm -- one of my favorite cities in Europe (In case you're wondering, it goes: Paris, Prague, Barcelona, Tallinn, Stockholm)

The language is cool, too.  Remember in fairy tales, the monster threatens to "eat you up."  In Swedish, that's how you say "eat":

Eat my sausage.

Ät min korv opp



Episode 1: "The Unthinkable."  

Scene 1: "On October 19, 2004, a murder investigation begins: the second largest criminal investigation in Swedish history." Cut to a bedroom, with an Arab or North African Dad showing his son Adnan how to use a watch: "When the hands reach 12:00, a new day begins, and then another, forever and ever.  Time always moves forward."  Then why are we so obsessed with the past? 

Someone types on a computer "Must kill."







Scene 2
: Linkoping, in southern Sweden about 2 hours from Stockhom by train.  This all happens in montage, splitting back and forth.

1. The Detective (Peter Eggers) jogs past a soccer game, says hello to a guy he knows, pets a dog.  

2. Mom wakes up Adnan and his sister, who now have bunk beds, for breakfast with their Dad.  They all cuddle and smooch and discuss how much they love each other.  Not once, as I was eating my cereal, did my mother ever smooch the top of my head and say "I love you so, so, so much."  Thankfully.

 Adnan sets off for school.

3. An old guy and his wife hold hands in bed. She has nail polish of a very strange color, like an orange push-up (remember those?).  They get up and discuss ringing Samuel about Christmas. Maybe there will be a cute son droppiong by? Wife leaves and heads through the park.

4. A man with a hidden face rides on the subway.  He gets off and head down the street, fingering a knife.

You know where this is headed, right?  The Man stabs Adnan; the wife sees him, so he stabs her, too.  Why is the park so empty in the morning, if everybody walks  through it on their way to school or work?

Scene 3: Another montage.

1. The Detective brings food home to his pregnant wife (established as heterosexual at Minute 4.5). Close up of his hand with a wedding ring on her stomach.  Ok, the heteronormativity is getting a little loud in here. He gets a call about the murders.

2. Adnan's sister walks past the cordoned-off area and sees his toy tyrannasaurus.  She runs to his school to check -- nope, not there. 


Scene 4
:  You heard me.

Left:Peter's prick

1. The Detective listening to his car radio, reports about how we're all doomed.  Is this a post-Apocalyptic series, or is it just supposed to set a dark/depressing mood.  At the crime scene: the woman is still alive, at the hospital.  Adnan is dead.  A witness, a woman who was cycling past.  They start canvassing house to house.  Uh-oh, a man is watching from afar.  Must be the murderer.

2. The Husband of the Injured Woman calls Samuel to see about Christmas.  Samuel does not appear in the credits, so why is he being emphasized so much?  A cop knocks on the door: "A woman was assaulted in the park across the street at 8:00 am.  Did you see anything?" 

"No, but my wife, who I love more than anything else in the world, was walking through that park at 8:00 am.  Maybe she saw something...oh."

3. Adnan's parents arrive at his school to see his sister wrapped in a blanket, crying.  

Scene 5:  Maybe we're done with the montages.  The Detective in a parking garage, calling his wife.  She doesn't think he should lead the investigation, with the baby due any minute.  Wait -- is this all going to take place in 2004?  I thought we would jump ahead, with the main story in 2024.  Otherwise what's the point?  It's just a murder story.

Next the Detective addresses plain-clothes cops or community members.  The Wife has died, so it's a double murder.  He sends them out to check if anyone in the neighborhood knows anything

He interviews the Witness and her husband, but she can't remember what he looked like.  

More crying and some cocks after the break.

Dennis Quaid: Two gay guys, some cops, a shrunken scientist, a footballer, and is that a dick shot?

 


Nazarenes didn't go to many movies, since it was a major sin, but in the summer of 1979 I managed to see the buddy comedy Breaking Away.  In the university town of Bloomington, Indiana, a group of working-class boys contemplate their future while swimming semi-nude in the limestone quarry where their dads work.  The hunky Mike (Dennis Quaid) wants to "light out to the territory" and become a cowboy. Moocher (Jackie Earl Haley) wants to marry his girlfriend. Dave (Dennis Christopher), wants to become Italian and win The Girl.


But you could easily ignore the heterosexist plot and concentrate on the primal beauty of the four friends sunning on the limestone.  In the end it was about friendship.

There's a more explicit, girl-free gay subtext in Enemy Mine (1985:  a future soldier named David and his enemy, a Drac named "Jerry" (Louis Gossett Jr.), are stranded on an alien planet,  and develop a touching, homoromantic bond.  They end up having a child together (boy Dracs don't need girl Dracs to get pregnant). When Jerry dies, David raises the child alone, and after they are rescued, returns with him to the Drac planet.


Dennis shows his butt for the first time -- but not the last -- in The Big Easy, a 1986 neo-noir about a New Orleans cop who plays by his own rules -- don't they all? -- and falls in love with a girl.










There's also reputedly a dick shot, but I can't find it.  Unless this is it.










Or this blob as he prepares to have sex with his girlfriend.









More Quaid after the break