Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heterosexual. Show all posts

Lou Ferrigno: My Late-Night Hookup with The Incredible Hulk

 

When I was living in West Hollywood, I worked part-time as an editorial assistant on Muscle and Fitness.  

It wasn't as much fun as it sounds.  The articles were often heterosexist, we featured female bodybuilders as often as male, and  I didn't get to actually watch many photo shoots.

But I did get to talk to some bodybuilders, including Lou Ferrigno: Mr. America, Mr. Universe, Hercules, and The Incredible Hulk

He was most famous for The Incredible Hulk, about ten years before.  I never watched, but I knew the basic premise: It starred Bill Bixby as David Banner (changed from the Marvel comics' Bruce, which the network censored deemed too gay).  After the death of his wife, of course, he experiments with human strength, and Jekyl-Hydes himself into Ferrigno's green-skinned man-mountain: "Don't get me angry.  You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." 


One day Ferrigno came in with Bill Bixby.  I thought they looked like a gay couple.

A few days later, he came in by himself for a photo shoot.

"Hi, Mr. Ferrigno." I called.  "Where's Bill?"

"I left him home, chained up in the basement."

"Can I come take a look?"

He grinned, clapped a huge hand on my back, and walked on.

Asking around, I was told: "Ferrigno is straight, but he won't say no to a late-night blow job."

I kept a lookout for Ferrigno's next appearance.  It came near Halloween, when I was working reception, a part of the job I hated.

"You got a promotion, I see," he said with a cruisy smile.

"I'm a jack of all trades around here, but usually I'm in editorial."

"Then be sure to spell my name right."

"Only if you spell mine right.  I'd better write it down for you."

He didn't object, so I wrote it on a piece of paper.  "And my phone number, in case you have any questions."

"Good idea.  I might have questions."

He put the number in his pocket and went off to his appointment.  About half an hour later, he came through the lobby again and stopped at my desk.  "Do you like ____?"

I didn't understand his deaf accent (Ferrigno has 80% hearing loss).  "Mexican food?"  Was he asking me out?  "Sure.  What time...."

Then someone else came in, and he mouthed "I'll call you," and left.

At least that's what I think he said.


I told all my friends that I had a date with Lou Ferrigno, and waited for his call.

It never came, so I forgot about it-- I was giving my phone number to a lot of people at the time.

Then one night in  January shortly after Alan the Pentecostal Porn Star and I broke up, I was at home, watching tv and doing some reading for my seminar in Dante at USC, when Lou knocked on my door!

"Is this a good time?" he asked.

My one-room apartment was a mess -- unmade bed, dinner dishes out, books and papers everywhere.  Besides, I was in my bathrobe, and I hadn't brushed my teeth since dinner. But who's going to say no?

He collapsed onto the bed.  "Boy, I'm tired.  I could use a nap."

"Ok, let's take a nap."

I climbed onto the bed next to him, and he wrapped a huge arm around me.  I moved up and started unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his chest.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Freshman year at Augustana College: newly out, I ask Jack Kerouac for a date, unaware that.....


Ok, this isn't really Jack Kerouac, author of On the Road.  It's Peter Orlovsky, the lover of Beat Generation poet Allen Ginsburg.  

I didn't really have a date with Jack Kerouac, either.  But Jurgen came close.

During my freshman year at Augustana,  I often saw him sitting by himself in the Student Union lounge -- in his twenties, tall, husky, bearded, with wavy brown hair and brown chest hair sneaking up over his lumberjack shirt.  He would smoke a pipe, of all things, drink coffee, and read a book or scribble into a little spiral notebook.  Too old to be a student -- we didn't have any "nontraditional" students at Augie -- but certainly not a professor.  Was he a townie who for some reason liked the ambience of the Student Union at a small Lutheran college?


I had just come out, but I had only told two people: my brother, who was fine with it, and my best friend, who slammed the door in my face and never spoke to me again.  If the college administration found out, I would be expelled.  So I couldn't walk up to him and say "Hi, are you gay?"  I had to use deduction: he's not with a woman, he dresses oddly, must be gay.  

One Tuesday afternoon I got a cup of coffee myself -- even though I hated the stuff -- and sat down in the chair across from him.

"What are you writing?"

He looked up and smiled.  "Just a poem I'm working on.  'Tucumcari Two-Step: Heat in the Year of the Drought.'"

"Cool.  I want to be a writer, too."  Actually, my career goals were up in the air at the moment.  Through high school I planned on becoming a missionary-linguist, translating the Word of God for isolated tribes, but that was impossible now.



Left: Jack Huston, who played Keroauc in Kill Your Darlings

"Who are your favorite authors?" he asked.

"Oh...um...Isaac Asimov, of course. Robert Heinlein, Andre Norton,..."

"Sci fi -- that's for Adam's Bookstore Babies!"  He gestured at the bookstore where my friend Adam sold science fiction and comic books.  "You need a real man's literature.  Hemingway, Kerouac, Henry Miller.  Here -- try Wallace Stevens."

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds

I had no idea what the poem was about, but a muscular guy with a big...um...cigar was far superior to anything we had studied so far in my stupid English class.

Jurgen was a student after all, an English major, 28 years old -- after high school he had "bummed around" Europe for a couple of years, then moved to California, then hitchhiked to Rock Island (where his parents lived) for college.


All gay men moved to California, and in his life history, he didn't mention women. He must be gay!

The next day I had to work, but on Thursday I hung out with Jurgen again  Neither of us came out, or said anything about gay people; it was the Student Union, after all, crowded with students who might overhear us.

But we didn't mention liking girls, either.

More after the break

Blair's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Wicked Lips, Fierce Friday, and what happened in Australia in the summer of 2016


This is a collection of hot/hung or humorous photos of actor/model Blair Jackson, who becomes Kelvin's nemesis in Righteous Gemstones Episode 1.4, "Wicked Lips." I'm only sure about one of the nude photos.

1. "It's ok. My roommate says you can spend the night."


2. Beach boys.






3. "What do you mean, I have to wear a shirt to be served?  I usually take off my shirt whan I want to be...um..."












4. What happened in the summer of 2016, stays in the summer of 2016.






5. What happens in the library, stays in library.








6. Thai dreams of thighs.  And shoulders.  And....







More Blair bod after the break