Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 5: Bathtub pic, glory hole pic, hanging with Scotty pic. With Corenswet and Hoult backsides

 

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy.  

1. "Another photo collection?  Haven't you seen enough of me?"

I can't help it, buddy.  You keep posting homoerotic pics.

2. And now that you're starring in Superman, we have David Corenswet to worry about, too.

3. And Nicholas Hoult/Lex Luther

4. "Hey, I thought this was a photo collection about me."

Sorry.  How about a long-hair bathtub pic?

5. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

Odd time to introduce her.

6. I don't care what you do in private, but let's get back to the homoeroticism.  Tell me about your relationship with Scott McArthur when you were filming "Righteous Gemstones" Season 1.

"We really carped the diem… from frisbee golf courses to to swamp tours to bondage... I mean bluegrass concerts to cock...I mean chasing down the best fried chicken sandwich in Charleston."

More after the break.  Caution: explicit

Gemstones Episode 2.4, Continued: Patricide, cake, and frolicking muscleboys. With a n*de wrestler bonus.

Previous: Gemstones Episode 2.4: BJ gets baptized, Baby Billy gets Funyons, Kelvin gets dissed, and Harmon gets a cat.  With Israeli and Egyptian men

The Baptism After-Party: An elaborate affair, with many humorous set-pieces that reveal the inner state of the characters:

 

Levi, the only single member of Jesse's crew, dances joyously by himself amid dozens of pink balloons.

A life-sized BJ cake, so you have to cut slices out of his head. 

The outraged Kelvin chooses two cupcakes, carefully removes the pins, places a napkin on top of them, and splat!

Jesse and Amber seethe with rage as Eli dances with a lady.

Eli tries to be friendly to BJ's family, but Judy interrupts him: "They're from Asheville.  They hate God."  "Yes, but God loves them."

When BJ enters in his shiny pink "romper with a cummerbund," his family criticizes him for being feminine, but he counters that men can wear one-pieces.  Then they complain that he is a child, a little baby, not a man at all. (Notice the parallel with Kelvin constantly trying to prove that he is a "fully-grown adult man.").  He's ridiculous, the Gemstones are ridiculous, he's ruining his life.   BJ rushes back to his dressing room and tears off the outfit (some momentary beefcake).

Since when does Eli Gemstone like ladies?;.  As the party is winding down, Kelvin and Jesse meet at the baptistry and discuss how Eli always ruins their plans, "I wish I could fight that man!" Kelvin exclaims.  "I'd destroy him...make him look like a fool."  Eavesdropping, Baby Billy notes that he's wanted to fight Eli many times over the years.

Kelvin tells him that Eli has been having sexual encounters with "multiple somebodies"  Jesse continues: "Dude fancies himself a damn cocksmith...trying to make himself into a big character for the ladies." Interesting that Jesse specifies women, but Kelvin does not.  Women just don't pop into his head when he thinks of sex. 

Baby Billy finds this hard to believe. "Eli Gemstone...with the ladies?"  Why, when you were young, was he just into guys?

All women want to screw their brothers: Judy accosts BJ's sister KJ in the ladies' room, claiming that "siblings have to hate siblings' spouses."  Jesse and Kelvin hate BJ, because he "took her off the market," made her unavailable: "They may be my brothers, but that don't mean they're not sitting in their room at night, thinking they might someday get to hook up with me." Does she not know that Kelvin is gay, or does it not matter?  

KJ protests that Judy's theory is "disgusting": she would never hook up with her brother.  "Well, what if I held a gun to your head?"  Then she might consider it. "I knew it!" Judy exclaims in triumph. "BJ is mine!  Stop fighting me for him!"  

The Fist Fight:  As Keefe passes out the food he stole, Kelvin seethes and bursts balloons,  and KJ complains that the Gemstones are a "train wreck" of a family, BJ throws a piece of cake at her -- which hits Eli just as he is schmoozing with a senator!  "You kids are an embarrassment!" he exclaims.  

As Eli leaves the party, Kelvin appears to yell  him about the Judean desert trip: "You made me look like a fool in front of my men." 

"I'm not spending one cent so you and your muscle boys can frolick in the desert!'   Frolick is feminine: Eli believes that Kelvin is planning an homoerotic orgy in the desert.  Referring to them as muscle boys, not men, enrages Kelvin, and he attacks.  

The two have a fist fight in the foyer of the church, with everyone watching, Keefe and the musclemen doing a chest-pound display of loyalty.  Kelvin throws one of BJ's gifts at Eli: he ducks, and it smashes a picture of Aimee-Leigh.

"You could have killed me!"

"I wish I had!" Kelvin cries.  Wait -- killing your father, hooking up with your siblings.  This episode is overloaded with Freudian symbolism. 

Eli pins him in the thumb-breaking position and demands an apology.  Kelvin refuses, and taunts that he doesn't have "the balls" to actually follow through. A call back to Eli's testicle injury in Episode 2.3, a symbolic castration that has rendered him impotent. 

But Eli does it!  I suppose I don't need to point out that in Freudian theory, the thumb is a stand-in for the penis, so Kelvin's broken thumbs represent  yet another symbolic castration.  But this time it is the father who performs the castration, rendering his own son impotent. 

More after the break

Glenn Scarpelli: the star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grown up, out, and married

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"Going Dutch": Military sitcom with an Old Soldier, a gay tease, and a muscular private (sigh). With bonus private's privates

 

In the last few days, I've started a dozen movies and tv shows that seemed promising -- guys gazing at each other on the icon, a trailer with buddy-bonding -- only to start them, and the focus character is kissing a woman by Minute 1.  The constant gay teasing is getting annoying.  Why tailor your project to attract viewers who are going to turn it off in 20 seconds?  

I'm so frustrated that I'm going to review something at random, the first "new!" title that appears on Hulu, Going Dutch: "After an epically unfiltered rant, an arrogant, loudmouth U.S. Army Colonel is reassigned to the Netherlands, where he is punished with a command position at the least important army base in the world. 

An army comedy?  Yuck!  But here goes, Episode 1.1:

Scene 1: USAG Baumholder Command Center.  I don't know what USAG means. Google says a gymnastics association, but that can't be right.   

Two army guys walk down the hall, the Old Guy (Dennis Leary, left) giving the Swishy Guy notes on how to introduce him: "Mention the Rangers, give America an erection."  Google says that the Rangers are an ice hockey team.

Swishy Guy: "I'll mention your Medal of Honor and your tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, and end up with your daughters, so you'll come off as a family man, and everyone will love you."

Old one: "No, don't mention them. I don't want to be beloved. I need to be tough, this close to Russia!"  Dude, you're in the Netherlands.  Russia is five countries and 2500 km away.

Swishy one: "We shouldn't mention how eager you are to start World War III." 

Scene 2: They meet with the Commander, General Davidson, who immediately asks about his daughters. "I hear you're a grandfather now."  Sorry, dude, he wants a family man.

Old Guy doesn't know what he means.  Oh, the baby?  "That's not a human being yet, more of a blob." Maybe stick with starting World War III.

Uh-oh, Old Guy was told that he was going to be the Commander.  Change of plans: he was caught on tape calling General Davidson a bleep, so he's in charge of  USAG Stroopsdorf, a supply center: "The least important army base in the world." 

Scene 3:  They walk through the Stroopsdorf Base: a miniature golf course, an outdoor fitness center. Old Guy is outraged at a "fat hippie on a bike."  Where's the discipline?   He vows to turn "this dump" into a proper combat base. 

Next, a tour of the fromagerie, the bowling alley, and the laundry, the three things Stroopsdorf is known for.

Plus a teen center with a sign "Reading is radical."  There are no teens on the base, so civilians from town use it for pool and video games. Old Guy tries to eject  "a small time gigolo" and a very muscular Private. 

Left: Small Time Gigolo is played by Icelandic actor Arnmundur Ernst Björnsson

Scene 4: The Interim Commander, a blond woman, addresses the troops: they have new headphones to use on the treadmills in the gym. No one mentioned Old Guy's wife. She must be dead, so he and Interim Commander can start a  "will they or won't they" romance.

Nope, she is his estranged daughter!  The Commander didn't mention that little detail.

She cut off all contact with him two years ago, but he didn't notice, because he "was busy saving America."  But working together will be an even worse punishment thatn being assigned to a "Dutch Club Med.

Scene 5: Swishy Guy flirts with Muscular Private as he plays foosball.  Wouldn't you?  Asked "What does your X/O mean?", he responds "I'm the Commander of Hugs and Kisses." Smooth move, dude.  But he impresses Muscular by winning the foosball game, then rushes to the Commanders to note that everyone can hear them arguing.

Muscular Private is played by Dempsey Bryk, who has rather an androgynous presence, but plays a lot of muscular guys (top photo).

Swishy Guy is played by Danny Pudi, who is heterosexual, but played a gay-subtext character on Community.  It's probably the same here: swishy as a gay tease, but soon to be outed as straight.

Interin Commander notes that they are marching in the Tulip Festival tomorrow, the first time they have been invited, so their presence is "crucial to diplomatic relations."  

More after the break