I certainly didn't want to see a tv show called
Nobody Wants This, a romcom about a rabbi and an agnostic girl who fall in love. But I needed a half hour series, and it stars Adam Brody, who has played gay characters, and Kristen Bell, whose character was bisexual-vague in
The Good Place. So maybe there will be some gay representation.
Scene 1: Joanne, Kristen Bell, runs away from a guy during their first date because he starts crying about how he lost his grandmother -- when he was 12! Switch to her podcast, where she asks "Am I the asshole?" 30 minutes of the date, and she learned that Grandma was a Rockette, and spent 42 years with her soulmate, William. A little much.
Sister Morgan: You always do this. You meet a nice guy, and find something wrong with him. It's like you don't want to be in a relationship. Who wants to watch a podcast about Joanne's relationship trouble? Oh, wait, this is a whole tv show about it.
Scene 2: Switch to Noah (Adan Brody) talking to his brother, Sasha, Timothy Simmons, who is heterosexual -- "Is Esther cheating on me?"
"No, you have to stop letting Mom cut your hair. It's dumb." Inside, they prepare to watch the game with a lady named Beck, whom Noah kisses.
She was snooping around and found an engagement ring in a locked drawer, so she started planning the wedding. Noah wanted to ask, so it would be romantic. Besides, invasion of privacy. They argue; he dumps her.
Scene 3: Jeanne, Morgan, and an old guy, Michael Hitchcock, having dinner. Wait, there's an old lady on the other side of the booth; it's the anniversary of the day Mom and Dad got divorced!
Mom explains to the cute waiter, Keith Walker, that they were ecstatically happy for 32 years, but then he became "a bit confused about his sexuality."
Oh, no, not another "you're just confused." That's ancient!She continues: "It's very trendy to be gay these days, so he switched."
Jeanne and her sister cut her off before she says anything else stupid.
Later, Jeanne gets a phone call from a Bigwig, who wants to "talk acquisition, a spin-off, and a book deal. Just keep having wacky relationship problems." Uh-oh, Girlfriend is finding true love later this episode.
Scene 4: Jeanne in bed, thinking of podcast ideas, when her best friend Ashley calls to invite her to a dinner party tonight.
"Who's going to be there?" Jeanne asks with a frown. "Bunch of lesbians?" Why don't you like LGBT people, Jeanne? Angry because your dad turned gay?
Best friend Ashley assures her that some heterosexuals are invited, including some men that she can date and find something wrong with for the podcast: a divorced dude with a kid, so you can make fun of him for being a bad dad; a finance guy who can't talk about anything else; and a rabbi, so you can make circumcision jokes.
Jeanne is excited. "They sound awful! I'll be there!"
Scene 5: The party, in a huge mansion...um, middle class house. Mostly women, a heterosexual male-female couple, a fruity guy flirting with a woman.
Jeanne kisses best friend Ashley on the mouth, and gets rejected. "Ewww...not gay for you." Wait, you dislike gay people, remember? Or maybe you hate everybody, so it's not homophobia, it's misanthropy/misogyny?
Next she sidles up to Noah, who thinks she's going through a crisis. "No, I'm just in constant need of attention." He has the same problem, constantly needing people to tell him he's cute.
That reminds her -- "There's a rabbi here! Let's find him so we can make fun of him!" She points out a bearded guy on the other side of the room.
As everyone goes in to dinner, Joanne seeks out Best Friend Ashley. "I think I'm really into the Divorced Guy!"
"Good. He's a horrible person, a condescending asshole, perfect for your podcast." Funny, that doesn't sound like Noah....
Big Reveal after the break. Caution: Explicit.
