"Workaholics Episode 3.19: Blake faces a line-bully, Adam faces a zombie apocalypse, and Ders and Karl touch tips

 I've been watching Workaholics as comfort tv: totally upbeat, with no drama, no angst, no tragedies to work through, just humorous misunderstandings and everyday situations that spin wildly out of control.  No girl-ogling or bragging about how many times they get laid, in fact very few episodes involving getting laid. Just guys together.  RuPaul called it "the gayest show on television."  And, in spite of what my friends (and some reviews) said, virtually no homophobia.  But I found some in Episode 3.19, "In Line."  The guys are planning to wait in line for the release of a new zombie apocalypse video game, but they are waylaid and have separate adventures.

1.Blake actually makes it to the line.  He runs into an old Dungeons and Dragons friend , Marshall (Josh Brenner, shown here with the mega-hunk Steve Howey), and wants to cut in line, but "Mark McGrath Dude" (Adam Ray) refuses to permit it.  This seems appropriate to me: cutting in line is unethical.  

They leave, but Blake decides that he has had it  with muscle guys pushing him around,  so he returns and pulls out McGrath Dude's armpit hair.

Left: Adam Ray performing with the guys (Kyle, Blake, Ders) on the This is Important live tour.

More after the break.

Gemstones Future Memes: a gay resort, dog cousin's night, a nude wedding, a demon in the sack, and "Who dreamed it?"

 You know they do three shows a day, right?

In French class we called them "false friends"

Dogs can be cousins,too.

 Doubtful, but you never know.

Kelvin: Keefe is a good teacher.  He's done everything: oral, anal top, anal bottom...

BJ: Anything with...

Kelvin: 69, frottage, split roasting, intefemoral...

BJ: Anything with...

Keefe: Bondage, S&M, CBT, WS, Princeton Rub...

BJ: Anything with women?

Kelvin: Gross!  No, of course not!

First they refuse to admit it, then they refuse to shut up about it.

In 20 years, they'll still be studying The Kiss.

More future memes after the break

Game Over, Man: Five minutes of Adam's dick. What's not to like?

Shortly after the end of Workaholics, the guys (Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson) played about the same characters in Game Over, Man (2018), moving their shenanigans into a hostage crisis in a high-rise hotel.  The reviews were unfailingly horrible, 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Their goofiness conflicts with a jarringly grim, violent plotline, there's way too much vulgarity, disgustingly graphic deaths, a severed penis used as a prop, torture by rimming (wait -- is that torture or a pleasant Saturday night?), plus horrifying homophobia.  I'm afraid to watch the whole movie, but I'll review a scene that the Roger Ebert.com reviewer criticizes as featuring "some pretty extreme homophobia."  

Remember, I walked out of Spider-Man (2002) when Tobey Maguire said "Like all stories, this story is about a boy and a girl."  Claiming that gay men and lesbians don't exist, homophobic jerk!  So this will certainly raise my hackles.

The set-up: The terrorist's henchmen, Steve Howey and Mac Brandt, are trying to kill the guys.  For some reason Adam decides to pretend that he has died of autoerotic asphyxiation, hanging in the closet with his dick in his hand. Blake and Anders hide under the bed (it would be too confusing to use character names).

 Finding the "Corpse"

The henchmen burst into the hotel room, examine Adam''s "corpse" (we get a closeup of Adam's hand on his dick).  Steve comments: "Look at this freaky fuck."

Mac: "Rest in peace, you horny bastard."

Steve worries that the job is going badly, but Mac reassures him: "By this time tomorrow, we'll be sipping Coronas in Cabo."  

Steve: "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

Mac: "You're sweet."

Steve: " I love you."

They kiss -- a little peck, then a big smooching thing. Adam, watching, is shocked.  Not homophobic, maybe a little heteronormative: "Wait -- gay henchmen exist?"

The Attack

The henchmen decide to do it "real quick," take off their shirts, and jump on the bed. We don't see any more of their kissing.  Guys, your pants aren't off.  Not going to have a lot of sex that way.

Blake sneaks a peek, then turns to Anders and says "Eww, right?"  Not homophobic.  Blake's character is actually gay and closeted (at this point), so he's trying to determine how a straight guy should react.

To defend themselves, the guys  throw the blanket over the couple and punch and kick them.  Anders grabs a lamp and beats Steve's head.  Blood alert. . Adam, shocked, says "I am so sorry." But you didn't do it.

Mac throws him across the room (cock shot). 

We Killed the Bad Guys

Mac punches Blake and advances on Anders: "You just killed the man of my dreams. Now you're gonna die."  Anders claims that Steve is just knocked out, but Mac throws him across the room and starts to strangle him.

Anders: "I'm sorry I killed him.  I'll be your boyfriend."

Blake throws a lamp.  Mac turns and advances on him. He ducks, and Mac flies into a dresser and is knocked unconscious.  Anders: "I think you killed him!"

Adam: "Sorry I didn't help, but we killed the bad guys!  My plan worked!" He spins his cock around in celebration. Um...so, can I get this on BluRay?

Anders: "Stop it!  Your plan didn't work!  You got them horny, and got me kicked in the chest."  Blake asks if he's all right.  Aww, fraternal love...

More after the break.

"The Treasure of Foggy Mountain": Enough beefcake, queer codes, or dick pics to subscribe to Peacock for? With a random Adam Devine butt pic

 

Please Don't Destroy is a sketch comedy group consisting of  Ben Marshall (left), Martin Herlihy (right), and John Higgins (below), who have graduated from the short films of your dad's generation to TikTok videos.  They were hired to write for Saturday Night Live in 2021, and their first movie just dropped on Peacock: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain.  I want to know if it's worth subscribing to Peacock to see it, so I've been checking trailers, synopses, and reviews for gay characters, gay subtexts, and beefcake.

The plot: Like Adam, Anders, and Blake of Workaholics, the three play "themselves" as clueless dudebros who live together, work together, and haven't quite made it to adulthood --  which in movies usually means hetero-romance.  Only Martin has a girlfriend.  Ben wants to impress his Dad by being a business success, and John is content to play video games and drink beer.  They decide to go on one last adventure, searching for a lost treasure, a bust of Marie Antoinette worth several million dollars. 

On the way, they run afoul of a homicidal hawk (who becomes an ally), greedy park rangers, a gang, a cult, fireworks, fist-fights, and danger.  

Heterosexism:  Martin already has a girlfriend, and John falls in love with one of the cult girls.  As far as I can tell, Ben stays unattached.  

Gay Characters/Subtext: None that I could tell from the plot synopsis or reviews, but Bowen Yang, who plays the head cultist, is gay in real life and plays a lot of gay roles.  There also might be a queer code in this scene of a communal bath: Martin and Ben are being soaped up by men, and John by a woman.  

Beefcake: The guys are shirtless at least twice. Also, when they are learning to glide off mountaintops, with the help of their hawk buddy, John's suit busts open, and we see his penis swinging around.  

Penises after the break

Workaholics Episode 5.5: Penis jokes and buddy-bonding at a Gay Pride party

 

Workaholics (2011-17), about a trio of clueless dudebros led by Adam Devine (left), has  gotten very, very bad press: gayness as an insult, weird, reprehensible; the possibility of bromantic partners being attracted to each other presented as "hilarious and absurd."  Devine responded that critics were heterosexual snowflakes looking for a fight; "The gays have a sense of humor.  They get us."

I'm not usually very forgiving about casual homophobia, but I'll check it out.  Episode 5.5, described variously as: "When they go to a gay pride party in the neighborhood, they make fools of themselves pretending to be gay."  or "a wild night at a neighbor's house leads the guys to question their relationship."  Sounds cringy from the get-go.

Note: Workaholics contains a lot of humiliation nudity, both rear and obscured-frontal. 

Scene 1: Telemarketing company boss (the always amazing Jerry O'Connell) is giving a speech about teamwork when the guys come in late; he calls them "young bucks," but they counter that they are "hung bucks....because our things are huge"  Well, whip them out. Tomorrow they have a team-building contest: he demonstrates by falling into the arms of an employee, who catches him.  The guys try falling backwards, but no one catches them, har har.

Scene 2: The office bullies brag that they have a "mature adult relationship":  they know each other's biggest regrets and deepest fears.  The guys try to prove that they know about feelings and stuff.  "Adam, what's Der's biggest fear?"  "That his dick is smaller than mine."  So, their schtick is a dick joke every five seconds.  I forgive Keefe for learning about "hard woods" at Woodpecker's Carpentry.

Left: Der (Anders Holm)

That night, while drinking beer on the roof of their house, they try and fail to connect on a deeper level, so they can win the contest.  Suddenly a guy approaches who is working valet for the Pride party down the street, wanting to park cars in their yard.  They think "pride" means MMA, and ask why they weren't invited. He doesn't answer, so they put on their martial arts t-shirts and crash the party.

Scene 3:  Still thinking that it is a MMA party, they are shocked to see that it's all guys, and there's a giant rainbow "Happy Pride" banner.   

"Ugh... rainbows!  Let's get out of here!"  But then the host points out the hors d'ouvres, and Anders lets out a shrill fruity "Helllooo!"  The reactions are only mildly homophobic: they are uncomfortable around gay men, but not so uncomfortable that they won't stick around for free food.

Left: Blake (Blake Anderson)

They discuss: "Dude, are you pretending to be gay?"  "Well, it's a pretty sweet party.  We don't want to be kicked out."   

The hosts are played by Michael Urie and Tim Bagley, both gay in real life.

The guys continue to pretend that they are gay: "Oh, we're very involved in the scene.  The having sex with guys scene. We're three-way gay with each other."  The hosts wonder why they're pretending: straight guys are welcome.

Scene 4: Getting drunk on free booze, the guys continue their attempt to connect on an emotional level. Meanwhile Adam drinks booze out of a dolphin's snout and exclaims: "If ejack tasted this good, I'd drink it by the gallon!"  Wait, does that mean you know what it tastes like?   They start chanting "We're here, we're queer, we want to drink beer!", to the embarrassment of the other guests.

The pride cake comes out, and of course the guys crash into it.  "What the fuck is wrong with you!" the host exclaims. 

More after the break

Workaholics Episode 1.10: Adam would suck a man's cock for $900. Does he take credit cards?

The opening sequence of Workaholics Episode 1.10 is widely condemned as homophobic, so let's take a look.

The setup: While driving to work, dudebros Adam (Adam Devine), Blake (Blake Andersoon), and Ders (Anders Holm) are having a random conversation.

Ders: "For $100,000, would you suck a man's penis?  That's a legitimate question.  A lot of hustlers (male prostitutes) are actually straight, but suck cocks as part of the job.  Their rates vary from $50 to $200. I'm not telling you how I know that.

Adam: A man's penis?  I don't know...  Why does he emphasize "man"?  Maybe he'd be fine with a trans woman who hadn't had bottom surgery? 

Blake: You get to pick the dude.

Adam: Final dick approval?   Choose any dick I want to?

Ders: Whoever's dick, except for me and Blake.  Darn, those would have been his first choice.  $100,000?

Adam: Ok then, yeah, totally.  

They talk him down from $100,000 to $50,000.  

For comparison, it would take way more than $100,000 for me to go down on a woman. Probably in the 2-3 million range.  If it involved secretions (I'm not clear on that), 10 million minimum.

Der: What about $5,000?

Adam: Yes!  I'd be thirty seconds away from getting a pretty sweet used motorcycle.  

Ders: It would take you way longer than that, Dude.

Adam: Are you kidding me?  Have you seen these lips?  Granted, you're one of the hottest guys on the planet, but I don't think your lips will get your man going.  You'll have to take off your clothes.  

He continues: Have you enjoyed the presence of me eating a kielbasa?  It's redonk!  Girls are like, "I'm impressed by that!"  So Adam fellates kielbasas?  I'd like to see that, too.

Blake: What is the absolute least amount of money you could get paid to blow a guy? 

Adam: We're talking if I'm honest with myself? I'd have to say $900. 

At that moment, they pull into the parking lot, and hit a man (who turns out to be their new boss).  They rush to see if he's ok, but continue the conversation:

Blake: Did you say $900?

Adam: No, I said $9,000.

Ders: I heard $900.

Adam: I said "thousand," Dude. I've got standards.  I'm not just blowing everybody. Grow up!  

Wait, what about having a dude go down on you, Adam?  How much money would you need?  No particular reason for asking.

In the office, the conversation changes: "How much to punch your mother in the face?"  

My analysis: How is this homophobic?  The guys are repulsed by the idea of giving a man a blow job themselves, but they never express any hatred, disgust, or even mild discomfort with men who enjoy doing it.  You don't have to like gay sex to be a gay ally. 

Redeeming Dave: Church for losers includes Tony Cavalero, a drag queen, and a porn star. With nude Ryan Hughes

 

Redeeming Dave was a 2012 tv pilot by Dominic Russo (one of the creators of Workaholics). Comedian Aaron Rice starred as Dave, a guy who fails at everything, so he starts a church for losers.  Tony Cavalero played his friend Josh.

Who belongs to this church for losers?  An infographic word cloud in the show's trailer tells us: a smart ass, an ex, a police officer, a drag queen, a Sunday school teacher, a stripper, a bartender, and a failure.

The pilot is not available to be streamed, but Dominic Russo brings it up during an interview about  Workaholics, and shows us two scenes:

In the first, Dave and Josh discuss how the "he/she has a tiny little baby dick."  "He/She" is transphobic, of course. Then she walks by, and they are embarrassed.

" I'm wondering if the "drag queen" is actually a trans woman.

In the second scene, Josh is telling a grade school class that his friend got a hamster shoved all the way up his butt.  This is based on the homophobic urban legend that gay men like shoving rodents up there.

I can't really tell if the pilot is homophobic or transphobic based on two brief scenes, but since these were the scenes that Dominic Russo used to draw viewer interest, it seems likely that gay/trans identity was going to be a major focus.

The cast list includes Ryan Hughes as "Racist Cop" (must be one of the losers in the church).  I don't know if it's the same Ryan Hughes featured in Adonis Male in 2017, but just to be on the safe side, here are some nude pics:

Adam Devine's divine dick

The Righteous Gemstones is known for its cock shots, but none come from the main cast, so all we have seen of Kelvin (Adam DeVine) to date is his physique, bulge, and butt.  

That's enough for some people, some hum-drum everyday people, but most of us want the Full Monty.

At this writing, Kelvin failed to show us his woodpecker in Seasons 1-3, but Season 4 is coming up, so there's still a chance.  Until then, we can see Devine dick in two movies:

Jexi (2019) features Adam as a life coach whose cell phone becomes sentient and tries to control his life, including sending dick pics to everyone he knows.

He confirmed that it is him, not a stunt cock.

In an interview, he stated that when fans say "I liked your movie," they are talking about his acting.  When they say "I really, really, really liked your movie," they are talking about his cock.

More after the break

"Isn't It Romantic?" Adam Devine and Liam Hemsworth as romcom hunks. Guess which gets the girl?

  

Since the 1990s, when movies began including gay character who weren't villains or victims, the standard romcom model gives the focus girl a gay bff.  He doesn't actually do anything gay, like check out hot guys or look for a boyfriend; he just swishes about, offering witty or catty comments and advising the girl on whether she should choose the rich jerk or the down-home boy.

Isn't It Romantic (2019) parodies the genre: under-appreciated, overweight architect Natalie (Rebel Wilson) thinks that she is unworthy of love.  Her assistant  claims that her best friend Josh (Adam Devine) is in love with her, but Natalie  doesn't believe her.   Wait -- Adam's Bumper was dating Rebel's Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect 1-2.  Way to keep it in the family, guys.  

So, Adam has corpulent girlfriends or potential girlfriends in Pitch Perfect 1-2, Isn't It Romantic, and The Righteous Gemstones (I  don't care what he told Keefe, Kelvin was dating Taryn).  And probably other works, too.  I don't have any first-hand experience, but I have heard that corpulent women are often considered unattractive.  Adam is one of the most attractive men on the planet.   Are we supposed to find the juxtaposition funny?

Back to Natalie: after being hit over the head, she awakens in a  world where everyone plays different roles, sort of like Dorothy's experience in The Wizard of Oz.   She lives in a huge upscale apartment. Everything on the street is bright and shiny.  The women are all supermodels, the men chiseled hunks (left: Hugh Sheridan as one of several "Cute Guys").  People burst into heavily choreographed songs at random movements.  The downside: Natalie can't have sex, because the scene always cuts from the kiss to the next morning.

More after the break