Gemstones Episode 1.9, Continued: Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day

Previous: Episode 1.9: Jesse is racist, Judy is a rapist, and Kelvin is the devil

He's not my boyfriend:  Earlier in the episode, Kelvin reveals that "he's coming apart," certain that his lack of interest in women and recent forays into "darkness" signify that he is the Devil.  The siblings tried to comfort him, but apparently it didn't help: he shows up at the teen group wearing a Goth teddy boy outfit, mascara, pale lipstick, dark glasses, and shiny vinyl pants, and announces "I have transformed myself into something Dark."  He's not Jesus, but a vile creature of sin.  He must leave them.  

But his replacement, Ronald Meyers (Josh Warren), is "pure": chubby, greasy-haired, an assistant manager at the GameStop.  One can't help but conclude that "pure" means "never had sex," a contrast with Kelvin, who obvioulsy has. 

Kelvin makes a dramatic exit.  Dot Nancy, whom he rescued from Club Sinister, scoffs, as if to say "What an idiot!", and follows. "Is this about your boyfriend?"  Notice that she is not being pejorative; she honestly believes that they are a gay couple.  

Kelvin corrects her:  "Ok, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just a couple dudes who like to hang out. Why?"  He's being awfully nonchalant -- compare Season 3, where "rumors swirling around" drive him into a panic.  He's already the Dark Lord, a being infused by homoerotic desire, so why get upset over a simple mistake?

Fans who insist that "Kelvin is straight!" often point to this statement, but maybe they're not "boyfriends," partners in a caring, emotionally-fulfilling relationship.  Kelvin believes that Satan is all about sex, not love, so whatever he feels for Keefe -- whatever he does with Keefe -- must be driven solely by lust.   

That will all change in a moment, when Dot shows him Keefe's instagram page. He has returned to his old job as Baby Queef, a performance artist at Club Sinister: "The baby is back!"  and "Haven't I fallen far enough?"  

Responses from fans: "I'm psyched!  I can't wait!"  "We're off to never-never land!" 

Yelling "No, no, no," Kelvin rushes off. Why is he fine with turning into the Dark Lord, but upset when Keefe becomes one of his followers?  Maybe because his transformation was all about wallowing in self-pity, while Keefe's is for real. He is about to be destroyed, spiritually, psychologically, and maybe even physically.

Gideon in Haiti: Before we can find out what happens next with Kelvin and Keefe, we cut to Gideon in Haiti: colorful "third world" shots of goats, a taverna, Gideon  meeting a group of kids, and so on.  The Water 2 Haiti ministry reflects the real Water for Life, which has been sponsoring well digging and irrigation since 1983. 

Jesse tracks Gideon down and asks him to come home. He refuses: he's doing missionary work to expiate his sins, so he can find peace.   Jesse will have to find anothe way to reconcile with Amber.

BJ is Shocked:  Back to the Gemstone Compound, night.  BJ wants to do a grand gesture to get Judy back (you dumped her, remember?), but Brock the Security Guard makes fun of his name and won't let him in (he lived there before the breakup -- wouldn't Brock know him and let him by default?).  

Rejected at the gate, BJ says "It's time to be a man" and finds an isolated place with a fence he can climb over.  We get a good view of the amusement park as he sneaks through, trying to abandon "childish things," as St. Paul suggested.   But the stealth plan doesn't work:  he is surrounded by security guards and tazed.

A Transitive State: Meanwhile, Kelvin is trying a grand gesture of his own (you dumped him, remember?). He arrives at Club Sinister with yet another party going on (or is there always a party in the Satanic realm?)  He pushes through the crowd (and, significantly, shrinks back with audible “Ewww!” at the sight of a naked lady), and finds Keefe's old friend Daedalus.  

"Keefe is discovering some things about himself," he says. What does Keefe not know about himself?  Surely he knew that he was gay.  

Then: "I transformed him back into the earliest state of his being. He's sinking beneath his reality as we speak.  He's regressing to a transitive state."  I couldn't find an exact meaning for this phrase, but it probably means a state where you can be transformed into a different person.  

Kelvin threatens him: “Take me to him right now! I will beat your f*ng ass!”  

The Isolation Tank after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.4 Continued: Dot drives Kelvin crazy, Keefe refuses a bj, and Gideon and Scotty date, With bonus Daedalus dick

Previous: Episode 1.4 : Keefe looks for love in a sports bar, and Kelvin meets a girl.

Earlier in Episode 1.4, we learned that Keefe is gay, and Kelvin is afraid of sex, or maybe just the phallus. Next we see a normalization of the Gideon-Scotty relationship.  Instead of being terrorized by Scotty, Gideon seems to actually like and care about him. This suggests disagreements among the showrunners about where the characters should go, similar to seeing Kelvin and Keefe as good buddies in one episode and romantic partners in another.

I'll let you buy me dinner: At the campground, Gideon gives Scotty the intel he learned from Martin: they receive an offering of over $1,000,000 on normal Sundays, but on big holidays, $3,000,000.  It's counted and placed in the vault overnight Sunday. On Monday it's deposited into the bank.  Wait -- is that all in cash?  Don't people just throw a few bucks in the offering plate?  If they're going to donate a lot of money, they'll write a check, or just have it deducted automatically from their bank account.

Scotty "goes dark" for a moment, brags about his own stuntwork, and criticizes Gideon's.  Then he becomes downright friendly and says "I'll let you buy me dinner."

You Shine: Cut to Kelvin appearing at Dot's lacrosse practice at North Jackson High School (in-joke: this is where Danny McBride's character worked in his earlier series, Vice Principals).  Like her boyfriend, Dot's friends think that Kelvin has a sexual interest.  The background music, Sweet Cheater's "Summer," supports them:

It's driving me crazy, making me wild in the summer,

Spending my time alone with you

Take a ride, baby, to the stars, in the backseat of my car

Ooh yeah, it feels so right, you belong with me tonight

Dot insists that he's harmless, and goes over to talk to him.  Struggling ludicrously to adopt teen slang, Kelvin invites her to a teen group meeting that night: "If you like it, great. If you don't, you'll never see me again." Weird way to phrase it, Kelvin -- sounds like you're interested in seeing her, not getting her into the church. 

Dot agrees to come, whereupon Kelvin leans over, stares into her eyes, and suggests: "No boyfriend tonight. Just you.  You sparkle without him."  Ulp, that sounds even more like "I am attracted to you. I want to date you."   He then tries to impress her by jumping over the chain-link fence (and failing).

Fan boards lit up with this exchange: "Hallelujah, my boy is straight!"; "I knew he had it in him!"; "Got the hots for the lady!"  The age of consent in South Carolina is 16, so sex with Dot would not be a crime.  But the power differential would make it wildly inappropriate, so a Kelvin-Dot romance is out of the question.  Still, the inference is there. Why?  

Since Kelvin is invitng Dot to a teen group, this can't be a holdover from an earlier draft where she was older.  Maybe it tells us that Kelvin can't even conceive of flirting with a girl, so he has no idea what his actions look like.    

Dot at the Youth Group:  We cut to the youth group meeting at the Sky Zone, an indoor trampoline park on Wando Park Boulevard in Mt. Pleasant, a suburb of Charleston with many Gemstone sites. Lots of kids somersaulting on bouncy-walls, and Keefe stretching Kelvin from behind as he groans "Harder. Harder.   Yeah, oh, that's good."  Acting like they're having anal sex, har har.

Notice that they're both wearing "Faith Factory" T-shirts, but none of the kids are. Keefe is now Kelvin's assistant youth minister. 

Dot appears.  Kelvin is "super-pumped that you didn't bring your idiot boyfriend."  Do you still think he's straight, after the sex joke?

He clears a space.  Keefe says: "These feats of physical strength are amazing."  Yeah, Kelvin is hot.   He performs some professional-looking acrobatic stunts.

Gideon and Scotty's Date: Dinner is pizza and beer at the Shem Creek Restaurant in Mount Pleasant, to the rather suggestively sexual song “You Knock Me Out.” 

The way you talk when you say what you see

Your smile breaking my words – you knock me out.

The way you shake it, baby -- what’s on your mind?

The way you get when you get down – you knock me out. 

Apparently Scotty or Gideon, or both, are overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion.

 Scotty calls Gideon "Little Lord Fauntleroy,” a rather archaic phrase for a fragile, polite, feminine-coded “sissy,” named after a character in the 1886 novel by Francis Hodgson Burnett.  In the 1936 movie version, Freddie Bartholomew’s Ceddie is redeemed through a homoromantic bond with the tough Mickey Rooney    Likewise, here Scotty seems to be trying to masculinize Gideon, complimenting him on his ability to smoke, drink, and swear:  "I like this side of you, man."  They smile at each other, caring boyfriends far removed from the toxicity of Scotty’s earlier rant.

Knowing what comes after, I wonder if presenting Gideon and Scotty as romantic partners is a holdover from an early draft, in which Gideon is the gay character, and Kelvin begins dating Dot.  Or it may be a misdirection, to draw attention from the Kelvin/Keefe romance and keep viewers guessing which will turn out to be gay. 

ner is pizza and beer  at the Shem Creek Restaurant, while in the background we hear "You Knock Me Out," by the Chuck Hall Band -- apparently Scotty and Gideon are immersed in an overwhelming passion.

Gideon explains how he came to make the video: things were tense between him and Jesse, so his mom made him go to a prayer convention.  Jesse had his friends in his hotel room, and didn't want Gideon around. "Dude wanted to fuck," Scotty says.  So Gideon left, but on his way out, he hid  hid his phone with the video on, in case anything interesting happened.  He ended up taping Jesse's sex-and-drugs party, and decided to blackmail Jesse to "get even."

Scotty envisions their new life in Thailand, after stealing the money from the vault. He mentioned the ladyboys earlier, but it's worth repeating that Thailand is a well-known destination for gay tourism.  He also wants to repair the hard drive containing the sex-and-drugs party video, so "we fuck your Daddy in the butt again."  Very graphic way of putting it, with an incest-subtext. 

Then he recalls their first meeting.  Gideon was wearing a wig to be the stunt double for a woman (wigging," remember?), and Scotty was attracted: he came up behind him and grabbed "like you were a little piece." He means "a piece of ass," a potential sexual partner.  Apparently he likes people who are androgynous or nonbinary.  

Left: Gideon's butt.  Not  Skyler Gisondo's

He continues: "But you weren't.  You were a friend."  Gideon didn't mind being grabbed; apparently he liked it, since he accepted being drawn into a relationship.

 "And I get you.  I know you way better than your family does."  He sounds like an abusive boyfriend: "No one understand you but me." 

We cut to another scene on this busy Friday night: Jesse and Amber counseling Chad and his wife Mandy about the aberrant emails ("we were just fooling around").  Of course they mention cum again ("Water squirt emoji does not mean 'cum' -- it means ejaculation"),  And we're off to Club Sinister.

Satanist cock after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.4: Keefe looks for love in a sports bar, and Kelvin meets a girl

Previous: Episode 1.3: Gideon acts like a woman, Kelvin acts like a man, and chubby guys show their dicks
 

Episode 1.4 is pivotal to the Kelvin-Keefe relationship, establishing that they both are gay, and that they have similar life goals: treated as babies in their subcultures, they long to prove themselves men.

Title: "Wicked Lips," from Proverbs 17.4: "An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue."  I wonder who will be listening to wicked lips.

The Satanists:  Keefe is walking through downtown Charleston, eating an ice cream cone -- a childlike activity, maybe signifying that he has been "born again," started life anew.  He had to give up his old Satanist friends and lovers to follow Christ, and now he's looking for new friends -- and a boyfriend (he does not yet think of Kelvin as a potential partner).

He looks longingly at a hot guy through the window of a sports bar (it's Kyle Walsh, who has been Adam Devine's assistant  in 10 of his movies and tv shows).  Then the hot guy turns around, stares at Keefe, and licks through a v-symbol: a vulgar offer of oral sex, usually aimed at a woman, but apparently aimed at Keefe).  Offenderd, Keefe moves on.

Next Keefe runs into his old Satanist buds, especially Daedalus and Cryptocore (who wears a gas mask and doesn't speak).  They heard the he was hanging out with "those Gemstone weirdos," but he denies it.  Then he refuses their invitation to a party at Club Sinister Friday night. 

"Keefe's a fucking nerd now!" Daedalus exclaims.  The slurs he uses, "nerd" and "weirdo," suggest the taunts of a high school bully rather than critiques of Christian believers.

As Keefe leaves, the Satanists demonstrate their new dance number.  They look like they are having fun; he is tempted to join them.

Money is on my mind:  While Quincy Jones' "Money Is" plays in the background, Martin and Judy (his secretary in this season) are showing Gideon how they separate the donations from the prayer requests (these are handled by paid prayer teams.  Imagine being a professional prayer).  The requests are then shredded, for liability reasons.  Anything important, or a donation over $10,000, goes straight to Eli.  The cash is then sorted and placed in the vault.  Gideon's eyes light up as he gets an idea.

Fancy Nancy:  "Gay, you know..." Wait, is Amber talking about Kelvin?  

No, it's Sunday dinner at Jason's Steakhouse with major donors Dale and Gay Nancy, owners of Fancy Nancy's Chicken. They are parodies of Dan and Rhonda Cathy of the notoriously homophobic Chick-Fil-A, but let's take a closer look at those those names: Dale's wife is named "Gay," and " "Nancy," and "fancy" are long-standing homophobic slurs. The whole scene is a play on homophobic slurs, calling attention to the problems that Kelvin and Keefe will have if they come out

The Nancys' problem: their teenage daughter Dot is on the wrong path, hanging out with an older, decadent boyfriend -- so they won't let her use the family helicopter anymore.  Everybody volunteers to intervene, but Eli notes that Kelvin is the Youth Minister, so he should do it.  He is thrilled: a way to earn his Daddy's respect! 

Script problem: Shouldn't it be Kelvin's job by default?  Why is there even a question? This seems to be a holdover from an earlier draft, when Dot was older. 

Gay slur: Angry at being passed over for the job, Jesse criticizes Kelvin's glasses: "You look like Jeffrey Dahmer."  The gay serial killer.  Kelvin takes the glasses off.

What happened in Atlanta: We cut to Chad's wife Mandy telling the ladies that she broke into his email and found a message he received from Jesse last March: "Atlanta was dirty, dirty, for sure-y!" Other emails describe "titties," suggest getting tested, and ask how much he owes for the prostitutes. 

Amber insists that it's none of their business. There are any number of innocent explanations.  Later, she confronts Jesse, who gets mad at Mandy "for lying." 

Timeline note: This episode takes place shortly before Easter 2022, which fell on April 17th.  Mandy probably means March 2021, or she would have said "last month." So about a year has passed since Jesse's sex-and-drugs party.

The Semen Load: At the Nancy Estate, Kelvin announces that he and Keefe will be performing a Satanic Sweep  (Keefe demonstrates by sweeping at his crotch.  Satanic sweeps are about sex.)

Keefe connection: Jade Pettyjohn (Dot) starred with Tony Cavalero in School of Rock.

In Dot's room, they destroy: posters of the dark metal groups Bauhaus and Ministry; an ashtray; a "fidget spinner" (toy) that almost hypnotizes Keefe; two Ken dolls (used for gay play?); and a used condom. They bring everything out to their SCU (Spiritual Collections Unit) trailer.  Lots of questions here: did they get a whole Satanic Sweep system started in just the few weeks since Keefe was saved (converted)?  Wouldn't a real Satanist know that those so-called Satanic influences are bogus?  And why are the Satanic Sweeps never mentioned again?  

Keefe apologizes for displaying the used condom; Kelvin advises him that if it contains a semen-load, "don't even touch it."  This queasiness about touching semen appears again in Season 2 with Judy and Jesse.  Here Kelvin seems to be trying to steer Keefe away from his gay "lifestyle," which involved touching a lot of semen-loads.  To emphasize his heterosexual manliness, he tries to draw Keefe into a play-fight.

Suddenly Dot's boyfriend Austin (Blair Jackson) appears.  "I bet you money that was his semen-load," Keefe says.  As they are drawn instinctively to thoughts of his penis, Kelvin decides to "Snip him right out of this situation." Castration joke, har har.

Blair bod after the break