Chase Carlson: Bodybuilder, gay adult video performer, Power Ranger, but no movie or tv roles. Who's complaining?

 

This picture appeared on the Male Celebrity Tumblr: Chase Carlson holding a rather light dumbbell.  Never heard of him, but it was a  celebrity site, which means actor or singer, and I doubt that he's a singer. 

He has 269,000 followers on his Instagram. He says that he wants to become a Power Ranger, but he doesn't appear on the cast list of any Power Rangers tv show.  

In fact, Chase's only credit listed on the IMDB is in Killian Knox show (2022-23), which appears to be gay adult entertainment.  Max Lorde (left), Troy Daniels, and Gunnar Stone also appear.

What else do we know about Chase?

He's won three super-heavyweight titles.

He lives in San Diego.

He is a spokesperson for Meat athletic wear and Mr., a HIV prevention pill.

According to his Facebook page, he grew up in Oskaloosa, Iowa, and graduated from high school in 2009.

A Chase Carlson registered with Mayhem Modeling in 2011, stating that he was interested in acting, stuntwork, runway modeling, fitness modeling, hair/makeup, lifestyle, and hosting.  

Probably not: he gives his height at 6'1", and our Chase is 6'4".

Weight 165, and  our Chase is 331.

Shoe size 10", and our Chase is.... 

More after the break

A new, improved batch of Adam Devine beefcake, bulge, and butt photos. With maybe a d*ck or two.

I thought I had seen every butt, bulge and cock scene in every one of Adam Devine's movies and tv shows, but nope, there are more.  I'm not even going to think of clever comments; let's just get to the goods.

1. From the Righteous Gemstones Season 4 trailer.  Kelvin gets up off his knees and tells Keefe: "This our world now. We can do what we want."  I have  pretty good idea what he wanted, but the question is, did he swallow?

2.  Adam wigggling his jelly roll in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.  Wait until you see Zac Efron's bulge later on!

3. Adam as Adam, with a snake and an apple.  I'm not sure about this one.  Butt looks a little too hairy.

4. A very young Adam sports a blatant bulge.

5. A side butt in a hospital gown in Workaholics.

6. Hey, who let the gay guy from Bumper in Berlin in here?

More Adam, Ders, and Tony after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.4, Continued: Patricide, cake, and frolicking muscleboys. With a n*de wrestler bonus.

Previous: Gemstones Episode 2.4: BJ gets baptized, Baby Billy gets Funyons, Kelvin gets dissed, and Harmon gets a cat.  With Israeli and Egyptian men

The Baptism After-Party: An elaborate affair, with many humorous set-pieces that reveal the inner state of the characters:

 

Levi, the only single member of Jesse's crew, dances joyously by himself amid dozens of pink balloons.

A life-sized BJ cake, so you have to cut slices out of his head. 

The outraged Kelvin chooses two cupcakes, carefully removes the pins, places a napkin on top of them, and splat!

Jesse and Amber seethe with rage as Eli dances with a lady.

Eli tries to be friendly to BJ's family, but Judy interrupts him: "They're from Asheville.  They hate God."  "Yes, but God loves them."

When BJ enters in his shiny pink "romper with a cummerbund," his family criticizes him for being feminine, but he counters that men can wear one-pieces.  Then they complain that he is a child, a little baby, not a man at all. (Notice the parallel with Kelvin constantly trying to prove that he is a "fully-grown adult man.").  He's ridiculous, the Gemstones are ridiculous, he's ruining his life.   BJ rushes back to his dressing room and tears off the outfit (some momentary beefcake).

Since when does Eli Gemstone like ladies?;.  As the party is winding down, Kelvin and Jesse meet at the baptistry and discuss how Eli always ruins their plans, "I wish I could fight that man!" Kelvin exclaims.  "I'd destroy him...make him look like a fool."  Eavesdropping, Baby Billy notes that he's wanted to fight Eli many times over the years.

Kelvin tells him that Eli has been having sexual encounters with "multiple somebodies"  Jesse continues: "Dude fancies himself a damn cocksmith...trying to make himself into a big character for the ladies." Interesting that Jesse specifies women, but Kelvin does not.  Women just don't pop into his head when he thinks of sex. 

Baby Billy finds this hard to believe. "Eli Gemstone...with the ladies?"  Why, when you were young, was he just into guys?

All women want to screw their brothers: Judy accosts BJ's sister KJ in the ladies' room, claiming that "siblings have to hate siblings' spouses."  Jesse and Kelvin hate BJ, because he "took her off the market," made her unavailable: "They may be my brothers, but that don't mean they're not sitting in their room at night, thinking they might someday get to hook up with me." Does she not know that Kelvin is gay, or does it not matter?  

KJ protests that Judy's theory is "disgusting": she would never hook up with her brother.  "Well, what if I held a gun to your head?"  Then she might consider it. "I knew it!" Judy exclaims in triumph. "BJ is mine!  Stop fighting me for him!"  

The Fist Fight:  As Keefe passes out the food he stole, Kelvin seethes and bursts balloons,  and KJ complains that the Gemstones are a "train wreck" of a family, BJ throws a piece of cake at her -- which hits Eli just as he is schmoozing with a senator!  "You kids are an embarrassment!" he exclaims.  

As Eli leaves the party, Kelvin appears to yell  him about the Judean desert trip: "You made me look like a fool in front of my men." 

"I'm not spending one cent so you and your muscle boys can frolick in the desert!'   Frolick is feminine: Eli believes that Kelvin is planning an homoerotic orgy in the desert.  Referring to them as muscle boys, not men, enrages Kelvin, and he attacks.  

The two have a fist fight in the foyer of the church, with everyone watching, Keefe and the musclemen doing a chest-pound display of loyalty.  Kelvin throws one of BJ's gifts at Eli: he ducks, and it smashes a picture of Aimee-Leigh.

"You could have killed me!"

"I wish I had!" Kelvin cries.  Wait -- killing your father, hooking up with your siblings.  This episode is overloaded with Freudian symbolism. 

Eli pins him in the thumb-breaking position and demands an apology.  Kelvin refuses, and taunts that he doesn't have "the balls" to actually follow through. A call back to Eli's testicle injury in Episode 2.3, a symbolic castration that has rendered him impotent. 

But Eli does it!  I suppose I don't need to point out that in Freudian theory, the thumb is a stand-in for the penis, so Kelvin's broken thumbs represent  yet another symbolic castration.  But this time it is the father who performs the castration, rendering his own son impotent. 

More after the break

"Going Dutch": Military sitcom with an Old Soldier, a gay tease, and a muscular private (sigh). With bonus private's privates

 

In the last few days, I've started a dozen movies and tv shows that seemed promising -- guys gazing at each other on the icon, a trailer with buddy-bonding -- only to start them, and the focus character is kissing a woman by Minute 1.  The constant gay teasing is getting annoying.  Why tailor your project to attract viewers who are going to turn it off in 20 seconds?  

I'm so frustrated that I'm going to review something at random, the first "new!" title that appears on Hulu, Going Dutch: "After an epically unfiltered rant, an arrogant, loudmouth U.S. Army Colonel is reassigned to the Netherlands, where he is punished with a command position at the least important army base in the world. 

An army comedy?  Yuck!  But here goes, Episode 1.1:

Scene 1: USAG Baumholder Command Center.  I don't know what USAG means. Google says a gymnastics association, but that can't be right.   

Two army guys walk down the hall, the Old Guy (Dennis Leary, left) giving the Swishy Guy notes on how to introduce him: "Mention the Rangers, give America an erection."  Google says that the Rangers are an ice hockey team.

Swishy Guy: "I'll mention your Medal of Honor and your tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, and end up with your daughters, so you'll come off as a family man, and everyone will love you."

Old one: "No, don't mention them. I don't want to be beloved. I need to be tough, this close to Russia!"  Dude, you're in the Netherlands.  Russia is five countries and 2500 km away.

Swishy one: "We shouldn't mention how eager you are to start World War III." 

Scene 2: They meet with the Commander, General Davidson, who immediately asks about his daughters. "I hear you're a grandfather now."  Sorry, dude, he wants a family man.

Old Guy doesn't know what he means.  Oh, the baby?  "That's not a human being yet, more of a blob." Maybe stick with starting World War III.

Uh-oh, Old Guy was told that he was going to be the Commander.  Change of plans: he was caught on tape calling General Davidson a bleep, so he's in charge of  USAG Stroopsdorf, a supply center: "The least important army base in the world." 

Scene 3:  They walk through the Stroopsdorf Base: a miniature golf course, an outdoor fitness center. Old Guy is outraged at a "fat hippie on a bike."  Where's the discipline?   He vows to turn "this dump" into a proper combat base. 

Next, a tour of the fromagerie, the bowling alley, and the laundry, the three things Stroopsdorf is known for.

Plus a teen center with a sign "Reading is radical."  There are no teens on the base, so civilians from town use it for pool and video games. Old Guy tries to eject  "a small time gigolo" and a very muscular Private. 

Left: Small Time Gigolo is played by Icelandic actor Arnmundur Ernst Björnsson

Scene 4: The Interim Commander, a blond woman, addresses the troops: they have new headphones to use on the treadmills in the gym. No one mentioned Old Guy's wife. She must be dead, so he and Interim Commander can start a  "will they or won't they" romance.

Nope, she is his estranged daughter!  The Commander didn't mention that little detail.

She cut off all contact with him two years ago, but he didn't notice, because he "was busy saving America."  But working together will be an even worse punishment thatn being assigned to a "Dutch Club Med.

Scene 5: Swishy Guy flirts with Muscular Private as he plays foosball.  Wouldn't you?  Asked "What does your X/O mean?", he responds "I'm the Commander of Hugs and Kisses." Smooth move, dude.  But he impresses Muscular by winning the foosball game, then rushes to the Commanders to note that everyone can hear them arguing.

Muscular Private is played by Dempsey Bryk, who has rather an androgynous presence, but plays a lot of muscular guys (top photo).

Swishy Guy is played by Danny Pudi, who is heterosexual, but played a gay-subtext character on Community.  It's probably the same here: swishy as a gay tease, but soon to be outed as straight.

Interin Commander notes that they are marching in the Tulip Festival tomorrow, the first time they have been invited, so their presence is "crucial to diplomatic relations."  

More after the break