Male nudity, gay romance, and queer codes in movies and television, especially "The Righteous Gemstones"
Joel Rush's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Beefcake and nude photos, including the glory hole scene, a bare butt, and a kiss
Workaholics Episode 1.9: Adam kisses a cougar, gets frisky with Ders, and raps as a bodybuilding fairy wizard. With a Michael O'Hearn frontal
After the gloomfest of The Mick, I needed something a little more upbeat. So Workaholics Episode 1.9, which was heavily criticized on the Gender/Sex/Media blog as homophobic: the guys think of "homosexuality" as weird and wrong -- and something you can catch. Plus Adam uses a homophobic slur! We'll see.
Scene 1: The guys dressed as wizards in long beards and conical caps, rehearsing a rap number for the Renaissance Faire. Ders asks why Adam has ripped his shirt off: "We're trying to get people excited, right? The world needs to see the madness that is my upper torso." Can't disagree with that.
Next Ders objects to "whoring out" the art of rap, but the guys remind him that ladies with big boobs will be watching their performance, so ok.
Scene 2: At work, the guys are watching through the window as Adam lifts weights on the patio. Geez, don't you gawk at his bod enough at home? Sorry, of course there's no such thing as "enough."
Suddenly a middle-aged lady comes onto the patio to smoke: Sharon, the owner of the whole building! The guys, watching, don't understand.. "Why is that lady talking to Adam? Wait -- why are they kissing?" Well, Billy, some boys like to kiss boys, and some like to kiss girls.
Scene 3: Blake wonders where Adam has been for three days; he's missing the Wizard Rap rehearsals. He comes in to announce that he's moving in with Sharon! They're in love, they're having sex, and besides, she's helping him with his bodybuilding career. She got him a gig at the Tri-County Amateur Bodybuilding Competition. Um..buddy, anyone can sign up for those things. Blake and Ders disapprove: she's a cougar (middle aged lady who's into young guys.) Nonsense, she's the same age as Adam's mom, who has sex a lot.
He zooms away on the back of Sharon's motorcycle. The guys feel betrayed, and decide that they will break up the lovebirds. Their plan: Ders will seduce her. Won't work -- I'm sure Sharon is fine with three-ways.
Scene 4: The guys arrive at Sharon's mansion. While Adam shows Blake around, Ders asks to check out the pool (we've already established that he's a former swimming champ).
The grand tour, consisting of the various places where Adam has made "the magic happen": their bedroom, the staircase, her son's bedroom, the kitchen. Have they ever actually had sex? I think a big reveal is coming.
Meanwhile Ders goes out to the pool in a very tight Speedo and flirts with Sharon. She can't swim, so he offers to teach her.
Scene 5: Adam shows Blake the gym, where he's preparing for the bodybuilding competition. Blake wants to stall him, to give Ders enough time to complete the seduction, so he asks for a demonstration of the bicep curl. Adam likes to keep the window open during his workouts, so when he screams, people outside think he's having sex. But aren't you having sex a lot anyway?
Meanwhile, in the pool, Sharon asks Ders "Are you trying to seduce me?" She is totally open to the idea.
Scene 6: Adam looks out the window, sees Sharon and Ders flirting, and runs down in a jealous snit. "We're going to fight!"
They can't fight that way, so he has to lie down until he gets soft. But the minute the two start grabbing at each other, they both get aroused! "Your boner is contagious!" Adam exclaims. He orders Ders to put on a shirt to hide his hunkiness. What about you, Mr. Sexiest Man on the Planet? It can't be a fair fight with your gorgeousness distracting your opponent. "Wait, am I supposed to hit you or kiss you? I'll compromise with a blow job."
Ders agrees -- they're too attracted to each other for a physical fight. Maybe if they just hurl insults? Nope -- it turns into an "are you as turned on as I am?" tirade that stops just short of the kiss. And they're aroused again!
More arousal after the break
Theo James: Why is he naked all the time, and has he done anything gay-positive?
In White Lotus Season 2, Cameron and Ethan (Theo James, Will Sharpe) and their wives visit the Italian resort, and start flirting with every woman in sight, plus each other. In Episode 4, Cameron even says "I want to be inside you. I want to do stuff to you." But it is just queerbaiting; the two never lock lips. In fact, they hate each other.
You could probably figure that White Lotus, well known for its shocking homophobia, would never portray an actual gay romance. After all, it was created and written by Mike White, aka The Devil.
But Theo James is not personally homophobic; he has been interviewed an a dozen gay magazines, he wants to play a gay action-adventure hero, and he was in the running to play gay pop star George Michael. Let's check his previous work for gay roles.
The Time Traveler's Wife (2022) features (straight) lovers stymied by the guy's frequent involuntary time slips. Heterosexuals all the way down, although it does give us some nice rear and frontal nudity.
Sanditon (2019-22) is an adaption of a novel that Jane Austen left unfinished at her death in 1817. There is actually a gay character, outed in the second season. Theo plays Sidney Parker, whom focus character Charlotte love/hates with the "He's arrogant!" trope.
In the animated Castlevania (2018-21), Theo plays Hector, whose plot is propelled by that horribly cliched Dead Wife Trope.
Archive (2020)? Another guy with a Dead Wife, who he tries to recreate with an android. Yawn. I'm beginning to think that it will be tired cliches as well as heterosexuals all the way down. Are the butts and dicks worth the trouble?
Lying and Stealing (2019)? Caper romance between two thieves.
How it Ends (2018)? "In the midst of an Apocalypse, a man struggles to reach his pregnant fiance, who is a thousand miles away." That's actually the motive behind about half of the characters on The Walking Dead: "I'm looking for my wife!"
Before The White Lotus, Theo was most famous for the Divergent series, four movies set in a teen dystopia where people are classified according to their primary virtue: Candor, Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, and Amity. He plays Four, a Dauntless instructor who romances focus character Beatrice.
Ok, let's try Theo's future projects. In the upcoming The Gentleman (2024), he plays Eddie Halsted, who inherits his father's estate without realizing that it is the front for a drug empire. And he...falls in love...with...
I give up.
Bonus: Theo dick after the break