Workaholics Episode 5.5: Penis jokes and buddy-bonding at a Gay Pride party

 


Workaholics (2011-17), about a trio of clueless dudebros led by Adam Devine (left), has  gotten very, very bad press: gayness as an insult, weird, reprehensible; the possibility of bromantic partners being attracted to each other presented as "hilarious and absurd."  Devine responded that critics were heterosexual snowflakes looking for a fight; "The gays have a sense of humor.  They get us."

I'm not usually very forgiving about casual homophobia, but I'll check it out.  Episode 5.5, described variously as: "When they go to a gay pride party in the neighborhood, they make fools of themselves pretending to be gay."  or "a wild night at a neighbor's house leads the guys to question their relationship."  Sounds cringy from the get-go.

Note: Workaholics contains a lot of humiliation nudity, both rear and obscured-frontal. 

Scene 1: Telemarketing company boss (the always amazing Jerry O'Connell) is giving a speech about teamwork when the guys come in late; he calls them "young bucks," but they counter that they are "hung bucks....because our things are huge"  Well, whip them out. Tomorrow they have a team-building contest: he demonstrates by falling into the arms of an employee, who catches him.  The guys try falling backwards, but no one catches them, har har.




Scene 2: 
The office bullies brag that they have a "mature adult relationship":  they know each other's biggest regrets and deepest fears.  The guys try to prove that they know about feelings and stuff.  "Adam, what's Der's biggest fear?"  "That his dick is smaller than mine."  So, their schtick is a dick joke every five seconds.  I forgive Keefe for learning about "hard woods" at Woodpecker's Carpentry.

Left: Der (Anders Holm)

That night, while drinking beer on the roof of their house, they try and fail to connect on a deeper level, so they can win the contest.  Suddenly a guy approaches who is working valet for the Pride party down the street, wanting to park cars in their yard.  They think "pride" means MMA, and ask why they weren't invited. He doesn't answer, so they put on their martial arts t-shirts and crash the party.


Scene 3:
  Still thinking that it is a MMA party, they are shocked to see that it's all guys, and there's a giant rainbow "Happy Pride" banner.   

"Ugh... rainbows!  Let's get out of here!"  But then the host points out the hors d'ouvres, and Anders lets out a shrill fruity "Helllooo!"  The reactions are only mildly homophobic: they are uncomfortable around gay men, but not so uncomfortable that they won't stick around for free food.

Left: Blake (Blake Anderson)

They discuss: "Dude, are you pretending to be gay?"  "Well, it's a pretty sweet party.  We don't want to be kicked out."   

The hosts are played by Michael Urie and Tim Bagley, both gay in real life.

The guys continue to pretend that they are gay: "Oh, we're very involved in the scene.  The having sex with guys scene. We're three-way gay with each other."  The hosts wonder why they're pretending: straight guys are welcome.

Scene 4: Getting drunk on free booze, the guys continue their attempt to connect on an emotional level. Meanwhile Adam drinks booze out of a dolphin's snout and exclaims: "If ejack tasted this good, I'd drink it by the gallon!"  Wait, does that mean you know what it tastes like?   They start chanting "We're here, we're queer, we want to drink beer!", to the embarrassment of the other guests.

The pride cake comes out, and of course the guys crash into it.  "What the fuck is wrong with you!" the host exclaims. 

More after the break

"Vacation": Skyler Gisondo as the victim in a cringy homophobic scene, with adult penises to make up for subjecting you to it

 


I didn't see the original National Lampoon's Vacation (1983), due to the vocal homophobia of star Chevy Chase.   I'm definitely not going to watch the sequel, Vacation (2015), in which  Rusty, the kid in the original (Ed Helms), tries to take his family on the same woebegotten journey.  Richard Roeper called it "a vile, odious disaster populated with unlikable, dopey characters bumbling through mean-spirited set pieces that rely heavily on slapstick fight scenes, scatological sight gags and serial vomiting."  Plus the plot synopsis looks horribly heterosexist, with eldest son James (Skyler Gisondo) in search of the Girl of His Dreams.  But I am going to check for beefcake, and then review a horribly homophobic scene that I found by accident on youtube


Beefcake:
James shows his chest (top photo). Stone Crandall (Chris Hemsworth), married to Rusty's sister, walks around in his underwear, displaying a bulge.  Plus he "accidentally" displays his penis in a vacation photo.






On to the cringy homophobic scene: 

 The family is staying at a sleazy motel.  James plays his guitar at the sleazy hot tub.  A girl drops by to flirt with him.  

Medina: I have a penis.

James (shocked, transphobic): What?  Um...

Medina: It's written  on your guitar.  

He explains that his brother wrote it there as a prank, and goes on to make his move, Just then, Dad shows up (but Medina thinks that it's just a random perv)

Dad/Perv: I'm just a stranger passing through town, but I couldn't help noticing how incredibly handsome this young man is. You got a girlfriend?  Or boyfriend, heterosexist idiot  -- but then, Dad probably knows that his son is straight.

James: (Painfully embarrassed.) No.


Dad/Perv
: No girlfriend?  Cute boy like that, somebody's gonna snatch you up.

Medina (to James): Do you want me to call the cops?  

James: No.  Dad/Perv hasn't done anything illegal yet.  But...why doesn't James tell the girl that it's his Dad, being embarrassing?

Dad/Perv: And he plays guitar. Dream boy!  Make a muscle!

Skyler: I'd rather not.

Dad/Perv: Take your shirt off, make a muscle.  Don't be shy -- show us what we're working with.  

As Dad/Perv approaches the hot tub, Medina asks James if he'll be ok, and scrams.  

Dad: Dang it!

James: Dad, why would you do that?

Dad: I saw you talking to her, and figured you could use a wing man. Oy!

In most U.S. states, it is a crime to propose sexual activity to someone under the age of consent or expose them to erotic material.  Commenting on their erotic desirability is technically legal, unless you are their parent, teacher, or in a position of authority.  Skyler Gisondo here is 18 or 19, but his character is 14.  Dad is pushing the boundaries of legality, and has gone far beyond what is appropriate. 

Left: 17-year old bodybuilder. Attractive, but not hot until next year.
 
This exchange keys into the myth that gay men are all hanging around schoolyards, trying to pick up teenagers (ephebophilia)  -- or 12 year olds (pedophilia)  

Another review says: "All homophobic, xenophobic, scatological grossout, with some rape and pedophilia “jokes” for flavor."  You mean it gets worse?

Grown-up penises after the break:

"Double Vision": Based on the Foreigner song, with nude pics of Gideon and Keefe

Gideon has had a crush on Keefe for two years.  During the Kelvin/Keefe breakup, he sees his chance to move out of the friend zone. He hopes.

Feelin' down and dirty

Feelin kinda mean

I've been from one to the other extreme





Fill my eyes with that double vision.

No disguise for that double vision.













When  it gets through to me, it's always new to me

My double vision gets the best of me


Today I had a good time,
But I ain't got time to wait
I want to stick around till I can't see straight




More after the break