Theo Taplitz: Jewish homophobe, gay kid, wyrm, artist, filmmaker, with some cocks and butts, and a lot of "after the death of"

  

Having had a Jewish partner for ten years, I get sort of nostalgic for Jewish culture, so  when a cute guy appeared on the icon of Bad Shabbos (2024), I clicked without doing any research.   I found three siblings and their partners preparing for Shabbos dinner with their upscale New York parents.

1. David (John Bass, seen here nude in Baywatch) and his shiksha-but-converting girlfriend Beth.  Her parents from Wisconsin are coming, too, and he is worried that they will "freak out."  It's dinner with prayers, what's the big deal?

The security guard downstairs tells the girlfriend to be sure to sit next to Ritchie, because "He's the shit."  So I kept waiting for Ritchie to arrive.  But no such person appears in the cast list. 

2. Abby and her boyfriend Benjamin (Ashley Zukerman), who hate each other.  He actually hates and insults everything.

3. The third sibling, Adam (Theo Taplitz), is still a teenager, in his room, working out to strobe lights and techno music.  David cautions that his future in-laws are from Wisconsin, not used to families arguing, like New York Jewish families do, so play it cool.

"But what about Benjamin?  The way he insults me!  Do I have to be polite to that slimy cocks*ck?"

"Yes, even to that...um...cocks*ck."

"Ok, I'll try.  But if that cheating cocks*ck starts something, I can't promise that I won't defend myself!"

Ok, three homophobic slurs in ten seconds.  I'm out.  But I wanted to know about Theo Taplitz, who so easily agreed to batter around homophobic slurs and insult LGBT viewers.

An article in Adroit gives his biography: Born in Laurel Canyon in 2003, attended the Los Angeles High School for the Arts, became a Scholastic Art and Writing National Gold Medalist twice, graduated in 2021.  

Enrolled at Columbia University as a John Jay Scholar, probably graduated in 2025.  His work "explores the middle ground between objective and subjective experience and the ruptures that occur in that unstable territory."  Um...does this explain why you're ok with homophobic slurs?

He's got 15 writing/directing credits on the IMDB, beginning when he was 13.  Quite a prodigy, but.....

True Places Never Are (2015): A boy trapped in sadness...next!

Requiem for Mr. Cromwell (2016). A boy trapped in sadness...again?

Dybbuk (2017): his little brother plays the dybbuk

Goodbye, Sam (2018): Sam is a dead parrot.

This House Has Eyes (2019): The eyes are watching a father and son at the end of the world.

Grey Heart (2019): After the death of...  When I was studying Creative Writing, they told me that the first rule of short fiction is: someone has to die or be dead.

Gable (2023): A young man uses the voice of Clark Gable to communicate with his catatonic grandfather.  Darn, I thought it would be about the House of the Seven Gables.

I'm getting depressed.  Let's get Theo's butt in here.  And there's nothing particularly homophobic about the content so far.

Theo has 17 acting credits on the IMDB, but they are mostly the shorts he wrote and directed.  Only a few other projects:

Little Men (2016): After the death of -- well, who cares, all fiction must have someone dead -- Jake (Theo) and his parents become the owners of an apartment building. He becomes friends with Tony (Michael Barbieri), whose mother has a dress shop downstairs.  They help each other out; Tony even defends Jake when bulllies "insult his sexuality."  Of course, being called "gay" is a horrible insult, because gay people are so horrible, right?  But Jake's dad decides to triple the rent; Tony's mom can't pay, and is evicted.  And of course the boys can no longer be friends.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.3: Kelvin topples, Keefe cuddles, and Titus is caged. With bonus semen loads

Previous: Episode 2.2: Kelvin clenches,Keefe dances, and everybody flirts with Eli. 

Episode 2.3 explores the darkness at the heart of Eli and Kelvin's empires.  

Title: "For He is a Liar and the Father of Lies." In John 8:44, Jesus complains that the Pharisees are children of the Devil, "for he is a liar and the father of lies."  I wonder who the liar is here.

Four guys in the steam showers:  A montage of the God Squad in their compound outside Kelvin's house, working out with wooden equipment, shaving with an axe, growing crops.  Performers that Kelvin hired would have apartments in town and ordinary social lives, with friends and families.  This is a whole society, a homoerotic alternative to the mundane world of men constrained by wives and children, imprisoned in small square houses "made of ticky tacky."  

In literature and film, the adventure ends with marriage.  The hero is domesticated, exchanging his battles and intrigues for a mortgage and a briefcase, his band of brothers for the Eternal Feminine.  The God Squad offers an escape: "no women allowed," either in the Squad or hanging about outside, hoping to "civilize them."

Kelvin congratulates Keefe on his leadership, then says  "I'll meet you in the steam showers, but bring Titus and Odd Chris.  I could smell them during worship."  Every guy working in the hot sun all day will be pungent; in-universe, he is obviously inviting the other men so he and Keefe can each have a sex partner.  The leaders of many messianic cults require sex with random members.  

No one named Odd Chris appears in the cast list, but Titus will be the first God Squad member to rebel. Interestingly, in the Bible the Apostle Paul set Titus to Corinth to deal with a challenge to his authority.

After Keefe leaves to prepare the orgy, Jesse drops by to reveal his theory that Eli murdered Thaniel Block and the other men.  Kelvin refuses to hear it, and wants to defend Eli's honor.  "You ain't as tough as you think, boy!" Jesse exclaims, putting up his fists.  Then he sees the God Squad preparing to defend Kelvin, and backs off.  Messiah Kelvin has some loyal followers!

Junior Threatens Brock:  We cut to Eli at home, putting his bloody pants from last night into the hamper and watching a news report about the murders. Security guard Brock calls to tell him that Junior wants in.  "Tell him I'm not here." Was Junior his partner in the murders, or did he do the job on his own?

Junior blusters and threatens him, but finally he drives away. You may recall that in Season 1, Scotty flirted with Brock to gain access to the Gemstone compound.  But Junior has moved away from his gay-subtext flirting; he is pure threat. 

The Human Pyramid:  We see the God Squad perform before an audience of teens.  Kelvin introduces the strongest member, Torsten, who dated a "female" in high school before she tried to seduce him, and he had to decide on "his celibacy or his soul."  It is clear that by "celibacy," Kelvin means much more than avoiding sex with women.  You must reject the entire heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, and kids, the nuclear family myth, the domestication and civilization threatened by the "female."  The way to salvation lies in the beauty of male bodies, in homoerotic desire unhindered by emotional connection. 

But when they move on to a human pyramid, with Kelvin on top, it topples.  The House of Cards collapses.  Maybe it can't be all about the penis after all.  Keefe behaves like a concerned boyfriend, rushing onto the stage and embracing Kelvin -- to protect him from plummeting musclemen?

Kelvin Wants to Spoon: What follows is very difficult to read. Fans are likely to shake their heads and say WTF?  during their first, second, and third viewing. The showrunners want us to be unsure whether the guys are actually gay, of course, but that's been obvious since Episode 1 to anyone with a basic knowledge of queer codes.  The real question: is Keefe Kelvin's assistant and acolyte, or his romantic partner?  Are they friends with benefits, or are they in love?    

On the surface, it seems easy enough.  Kelvin, in underwear, is looking out the window at the God Squad below. Keefe enters, having drawn him a bath, and tells him that both Liam and Titus were injured in the human pyramid debacle.  Kelvin thinks that it's their own fault for being soft on the fundamentals and skipping leg day.  "Something might have to be done about Titus," he says menacingly, an action-adventure movie villain.  

Keefe: "I completely agree."  Note that he is not an assistant, or his opinion would be irrelevant.  They are equal partners in the God Squad Cult.  "But some of the others have been questioning their place here as well. That's the downside of assembling an entire group of alpha males.  As they grow stronger, they grow more defiant."  The men are not content with being mere objects of desire; they want autonomy and control. 

Kelvin slips off his underwear and hands them to Keefe, who helps him put on his bathrobe -- from behind.   He has to press his body against Kelvin, crotch to butt.  Then he caresses Kelvin's thighs instead of breaking away. It would be much easier from the front.  Why does he go in from the rear?  

When he is finished, Keefe walks over to the mirror, but Kelvin isn't having it, and moves in front of him to get into the butt-to-crotch position again. 

Their gestures and positions are blatantly erotic.  Kelvin is in physical and emotional distress, and wants to be comforted.  In a society where romance is forbidden, this is how lovers cuddle.

"Brother, what's troubling you? " Keefe asks. "Your mind seems dark and black."  It's a secret.  Keefe promises not to tell anyone.

Kelvin turns around to reveal that his Daddy may be a murderer.  Their faces are only a few inches apart, far too close even for lovers, unless they're about to kiss.  One of them must back up to a comfortable conversational distance.  Kelvin is right against the mirror, so it's up to Keefe to back up.  Why doesn't he back up?. 

We see here Keefe struggling with his desire to move the relationship from "erotic partners" to "boyfriends," struggling with his urge to kiss Kelvin. Notice that he says "Are we in trouble?", not "Are you in trouble."  He is not an employee, who could just find another job if the church went down.  They are romantic partners; they are in this together.

Eli lays down the law: In the next scene, Eli notes that Liam (Peter Kaasa), who was injured during the human pyramid stunt, is suing the Gemstones. They don't need another scandal right now. 

He tells Kelvin to "stop acting like a child" and "grow up."  It's time to "put on your big boy pants, and stop playing with your muscular boys."  Kelvin yells "They're muscle men, Daddy," but he has missed the point.

 Eli thinks that Kelvin's erotic play is immature and childish.  Adults can't be all about desire, about doing things behind closed doors; they need connection to the greater society.  His talk omits the usual "find a girl, get married, and have kids" part of the heteronormative litany, since he knows that Kelvin will never relate to a woman in that way.  But he still needs relationships based on love as well as desire.  He needs to be part of a family.  

Sorry, I ran out of space, so Titus will be caged and do the coming in the next section.  But I included a few photos of guys depositing semen loads to put you in the mood. 

Bonus semen loads after the break.  Warning: explicit.