Young Rock is a fictional autobiographical series about the childhood of Dwayne Johnson, the Rock, bookended by his presidential bid in 2033 (the U.S. could do worse: Dwayne is a gay ally), Miles Burris plays Hunter Hearst Hemsley, a flamboyant blond wrestler. He is probably a parody of Gorgeous George (1915-1963), who riled up the audience by pretending to be gay. I'll review his first appearance, in Episode 2.8.
Scene 1: Johnson Family Ranch, 2033, three days before the election. Dwayne's bromantic partner, Randall Park, and his staff are waiting in the kitchen. The doctor comes out of his room and says "I don't think he's going to make it...to his campaign event tonight!" (Har-har). He's got food poisoning from bad clam chowder. "And he's asking for his boyf...best buddy."
Scene 2: Dwayne tells his boyf...best buddy that he's going to the event anyway. When you face a challenge, you meet it head-on, like he did in 1996 when he got a call... the WWF is taping in Corpus Christi, and they want him for a "dark match" (before the main match, to get the crowd revved up). His first professional wrestling gig! He just needs to quit his job at the gym and borrow some wrestling gear.
Scene 3: Dwayne (Uli Latukefu) arrives in Corpus Christi, and is picked up by his opponent, Steve Lombardi (Scott Colton), The Brooklyn Brawler, a 32-year veteran who broke his dad into wrestling years ago. So this guy is over 50 and still wrestling? The arena is sold out -- 15,000 fans.
Scene 4: Back in 2033, bromantic partner Randall asks if Dwayne was scared. "No -- I was where I wanted to be."
Next Dwayne meets the man in charge of his match, ex-wrestler Michael P.S.Hayes (Brad Burroughs). The PS stands for "Purely Sexy." His advice: "Follow the Brawler's lead, and keep it simple. You got six minutes. "But how do you want me to go over (lose the match)?" Hayes and Brawler both laugh: "Kid, we flew you here to win."
Dwayne is shocked. Winning is unheard-of for your first match! He wants to call his parents, but there's no time. Anyway, they're getting the scoop on a WWF chatroom on America Online (if you remember AOL, you're getting brochures from the AARP).
Scene 5: Locker room. While dressing (or undressing), Dwayne is greeted by The Iron Sheik (Brett Azar left), a retired "heel" (bad guy) who has moved into heel management. He promises to call Dwayne's parents. during the match to give them updates. Gee, these wrestlers are a big happy family.
Dwayne also meets Stone Cold Steve Austin (Luke Hawx) who will one day revolutionalize wrestling, but now is stuck in a non-speaking persona; Downtown Bruno (Ryan Pinkston, below), The Undertaker, Mantaur, and Mankind (Brock Dunstan), his future tag-team partner. Mankind thinks that winning his first match is a bad idea, since if he wins and the crowd doesn't like him, he'll be finished as a wrestler.
More wrestlers and butts after the break
