Young Rock is a fictional autobiographical series about the childhood of Dwayne Johnson, the Rock, bookended by his presidential bid in 2033 (the U.S. could do worse: Dwayne is a gay ally), Miles Burris plays Hunter Hearst Hemsley, a flamboyant blond wrestler. He is probably a parody of Gorgeous George (1915-1963), who riled up the audience by pretending to be gay. I'll review his first appearance, in Episode 2.8.
Scene 1: Johnson Family Ranch, 2033, three days before the election. Dwayne's bromantic partner, Randall Park, and his staff are waiting in the kitchen. The doctor comes out of his room and says "I don't think he's going to make it...to his campaign event tonight!" (Har-har). He's got food poisoning from bad clam chowder. "And he's asking for his boyf...best buddy."
Scene 2: Dwayne tells his boyf...best buddy that he's going to the event anyway. When you face a challenge, you meet it head-on, like he did in 1996 when he got a call... the WWF is taping in Corpus Christi, and they want him for a "dark match" (before the main match, to get the crowd revved up). His first professional wrestling gig! He just needs to quit his job at the gym and borrow some wrestling gear.
Scene 3: Dwayne (Uli Latukefu) arrives in Corpus Christi, and is picked up by his opponent, Steve Lombardi (Scott Colton), The Brooklyn Brawler, a 32-year veteran who broke his dad into wrestling years ago. So this guy is over 50 and still wrestling? The arena is sold out -- 15,000 fans.
Scene 4: Back in 2033, bromantic partner Randall asks if Dwayne was scared. "No -- I was where I wanted to be."
Next Dwayne meets the man in charge of his match, ex-wrestler Michael P.S.Hayes (Brad Burroughs). The PS stands for "Purely Sexy." His advice: "Follow the Brawler's lead, and keep it simple. You got six minutes. "But how do you want me to go over (lose the match)?" Hayes and Brawler both laugh: "Kid, we flew you here to win."
Dwayne is shocked. Winning is unheard-of for your first match! He wants to call his parents, but there's no time. Anyway, they're getting the scoop on a WWF chatroom on America Online (if you remember AOL, you're getting brochures from the AARP).
Scene 5: Locker room. While dressing (or undressing), Dwayne is greeted by The Iron Sheik (Brett Azar left), a retired "heel" (bad guy) who has moved into heel management. He promises to call Dwayne's parents. during the match to give them updates. Gee, these wrestlers are a big happy family.
Dwayne also meets Stone Cold Steve Austin (Luke Hawx) who will one day revolutionalize wrestling, but now is stuck in a non-speaking persona; Downtown Bruno (Ryan Pinkston, below), The Undertaker, Mantaur, and Mankind (Brock Dunstan), his future tag-team partner. Mankind thinks that winning his first match is a bad idea, since if he wins and the crowd doesn't like him, he'll be finished as a wrestler.
More wrestlers and butts after the break
Finally, a long-haired blond in a fancy suit, carrying a cane (he "looked like he was late for a fox hunt"), introduces himself as Hunter Hearst Hemsley, or Triple-H ( Miles Burris). He will become world champion 14 times, one of the Rock's most important heels, and off-stage, one of his closest friends. They spar with each other, but without using any feminine-slurs. Ok, so not a parody of Gorgeous George after all, a real wrestler. He built his persona as rich-snob rather than feminine-gay.
Scene 6: Showtime! Everyone gives Dwayne encouragement: "It doesn't matter if you wrestle for ten years or ten minutes. You make this moment happen!" He walks out, waves to the crowd, ignores the heckler who asks "Who the hell are you?" The Brooklyn Brawler comes out, threatens the crowd, and gets booed. "Six minutes to change the course of my life," Dwayne thinks. Of course he's going to win, but he has to do it in a way that excites the fans.
They wrestle; Dwayne actually throws the Brawler into a somersault! I thought it was impressive, but the crowd jeers. Back stage, Triple-H laughs. Hey, are you still playing a character, or are you actually a bully? The Iron Sheik suggests Dwayne show his legs, get some sexiness going on.
When the Brawler starts pulverizing Dwayne, the crowd is silent. Uh-oh, they're supposed to sympathize. "What do we do now?" Dwayne asks, panicking. "Just sell it for awhile. If the crowd cares about you, they'll respond."
So Dwayne plays at being in pain, and the love of the underdog kicks in. The crowd starts encourage him to fight. As if strengthened by their encouragement, Dwayne bounces back and uses amazing acrobatic moves to finish off the Brawler. Everyone backstage is ecstatic. The kid has showmanship!
Scene 7: Back in 2033, Randall wants to talk about his first stage experience: in college he starred in an all-Asian version of The Hudsucker Proxy. This puts Dwayne to sleep, so Randall says "Sweet dreams, Big Prince," and leans over to kiss him. Dwayne wakes up, and he backs off. I take it you're hoping to move the bromance into boyfriend territory? The end.
Beefcake: Lots. Half the episode takes place in the locker room, with those muscle studs walking around in those skimpy little wrestling tights.
Heterosexism: None. Young Dwayne has a brief telephone conversation with someone who may be his girlfriend. Only one insult about someone's lack of sexual practice. No homophobic slurs.
Gay Characters: None that I know of. There are wikipedia pages for 48 "openly" gay professional wrestlers, but none of the guys in this episodes.
Gay Subtexts: Deliberate, with Randall Park being in love with Dwayne.
The Inside Scoop: The inside look at pro wrestling was interesting, and the pop-ups useful in figuring out who these guys were. Dwayne is a little too quick to tell us the moral of the story, but after all he is supposed to be sharing his wisdom.
My Grade: A-
See also: Kyle Hawk: Pro-gay wrestler and Gemstone alum, with a Native American bonus
Jake Kelley: Modeling, arm-wrestling, and nekkid cowboys
Shane Michael Parker: Did the stunt cock in the Maniac Kid's locker room work as a gay BDSM bottom?
No comments:
Post a Comment