Theo James: Why is he naked all the time, and has he done anything gay-positive?

 

In White Lotus Season 2, Cameron and Ethan (Theo James, Will Sharpe) and their wives visit the Italian resort, and start flirting with every woman in sight, plus each other. In Episode 4, Cameron even says "I want to be inside you.  I want to do stuff to you."  But it is just queerbaiting; the two never lock lips.  In fact, they hate each other.

You could probably figure that White Lotus, well known for its shocking homophobia, would never portray an actual gay romance.  After all, it was created and written by Mike White, aka The Devil. 

But Theo James is not personally homophobic; he has been interviewed an a dozen gay magazines, he wants to play a gay action-adventure hero, and he was in the running to play gay pop star George Michael.  Let's check his previous work for gay roles.

The Time Traveler's Wife (2022) features (straight) lovers stymied by the guy's frequent involuntary time slips.  Heterosexuals all the way down, although it does give us some nice rear and frontal nudity.

Sanditon (2019-22) is an adaption of a novel that Jane Austen left unfinished at her death in 1817. There is actually a gay character, outed in the second season. Theo plays Sidney Parker, whom focus character Charlotte love/hates with the "He's arrogant!" trope.  

In the animated Castlevania (2018-21), Theo plays Hector, whose plot is propelled by that horribly cliched Dead Wife Trope.  

Archive (2020)?  Another guy with a Dead Wife, who he tries to recreate with an android.  Yawn.  I'm beginning to think that it will be tired cliches as well as heterosexuals  all the way down.  Are the butts and dicks worth the trouble?

Lying and Stealing (2019)? Caper romance between two thieves.

How it Ends (2018)?  "In the midst of an Apocalypse, a man struggles to reach his pregnant fiance, who is a thousand miles away." That's actually the motive behind about half of the characters on The Walking Dead: "I'm looking for my wife!"

Before The White Lotus, Theo was most famous for the Divergent series, four movies set in a teen dystopia where people are classified according to their primary virtue: Candor, Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, and Amity.  He plays Four, a Dauntless instructor who romances focus character Beatrice. 

Ok, let's try Theo's future projects.  In the upcoming The Gentleman (2024), he plays Eddie Halsted, who inherits his father's estate without realizing that it is the front for a drug empire.  And he...falls in love...with...

I give up.

Bonus: Theo dick after the break

Mario Lopez: The hottest celebrity, nicest celebrity, or both? With bonus bulge, butt, and possibly more

I first saw Mario Lopez on March 14, 1987, on an episode of The Golden Girls  He played one of Dorothy's students who is in danger of being deported to Mexico.  He was fourteen years old, but he already had the hair, the dimples, and the impish smile that made you want to smile back. It was impossible to be in a bad mood while looking at that smile.

The beefcake came later -- when Mario played A.C. Slater, the sullen working-class athlete who paired with smooth-talking operator Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell and Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1989-1993).  Why wasn't his character Hispanic? Because nearly the only Hispanic characters on tv had names like Drug Dealer #1.

Mario broke away from teen hunk-types with the homoerotic (but gay-free) horror movie The Journey: Absolution (1997).  His character was not Hispanic.

In 1997, he played gay athlete Greg Louganis in Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story.  Playing a gay character was quite brave in the 1990s; Hollywood insiders warned that it would end his career.

But he went on to play Dr. Mike Hamoui on Nip/Tuck (2008-2010), getting naked in the shower room and causing unexplainable longings in the ostensibly heterosexual plastic surgeons.

And lots more.  I could post a thousand beefcake photos of Mario Lopez, but really, there aren't many people in the world who aren't familiar with his physique.  It's the most photographed in Hollywood.  Maybe that's why he has been mostly playing himself lately.

But I'm still fixated on that smile.  Has anyone ever seen Mario not smiling, except when he's acting on screen?  He even smiles at the papparazzi who follow him on his morning jogs.

For that matter, has Mario ever said a bad word about anyone?  Has anyone ever said a bad word about him? (Ok, I criticized him for making a heterosexist statement on his website, but he has certainly made up for it by being a long-term gay ally.)

He's on lots of lists of "Hottest Celebrities," just below Adam Devine, but he probably should be on the list of "Nicest Celebrities," too.

Gemstone connection: Both Mario and Tony Cavalero have cooked with Corey B.

In case you haven't seen them for awhile, there are some Mario butts and bulges (and maybe one dick) after the break.

"Mosaic" Episode 1.3: Two gay guys, a murder, a dead alligator, and Pee Wee Herman. With some nude dudes.

In Mosaic (2017), con artist Eric (Frederick Weller) has been convicted of murdering his latest con victim, famous children's author Olivia Lake.  His sister Petra thinks he's innocent, and begins investigating the other men in Olivia's life: "she liked to surround herself with young guys." 

First up: Joel (Garrett Hedlund, here entertaining his boyfriend in On The Road), an aspiring artist who used to live on Olivia's property.  

He's not a suspect -- he was at a 10:00 pm showing of The Hobbit with male friend at the time of the murder.  Or was he?  Maybe the boyfriend lied to protect him.   Wait -- male friend?  Is this guy gay?

Cut to Joel living a "normal" life in backwoods Slidell, Louisiana, running a company called Big Bayou Gator Guides. He motors a man and his two kids (James, Kelton, and Sinclair Dumont) into the swamp to look at alligators.  Scratch that -- he helps Kelton shoot one!   

Violent rite of passage, I guess.  Then he helps them pack the meat into a chest marked "Not for Sale," and gives them the name of a taxidermist. 

Petra intrudes upon Joel's alligator-skull-filled shop with questions about her brother and the dead author: "Look, I hardly knew him!" he exclaims. I heard that before.  Were they dating?  Joel is living with a guy.  He is definitely gay.

Nope.  I shouldn't watch these episodes out of order.  In Episode 1, Olivia the famous author and her gay bestie JC (Paul Reubens) compete for the attention of handsome bartender Joel.  He chooses the old lady over the old dude.  Plus he hooked up with a girl on New Year's Eve.  So he's straight.

But there's more gay content: Petra and Joel investigate the "story walk" with pop-ups from Olivia's book, Whose Woods These Are.  When he lived on her property, Joel used to take walks there, and one night he stumbled upon two guys going at it.  One turns out to be Cameron, the chief suspect. 

Two gay guys, and one isn't even a suspect! I may have to watch the rest of this.  

In the meantime, here's Garrett Hedlund's butt.

And a frontal of James Ransome, who plays Olivia's uber-rich neighbor and best friend.

See also: James and Kelton Dumont Cute/Cuddly Photos, Part 1

Nude Photos of Kelton Dumont

Kelton Dumont in his birthday suits

Dad/son actors James and Kelton Dumont and their hunky costars and hung heartthrobs