Tyler Crumley: Adam Sandler's bully grows up, celebrates Pride, goes to college in...Murfreesboro? With some d*cks and other parts

 

You probably haven't seen Tyler Crumley as the teenage version of Willoughby Kipling, a Knights Templar and master of chaos magic,  in Doom Patrol (2022).

Or as the chief bully who torments man-child Adam Sandler in Hubie Halloween (2020).

Or as a banjo-playing kid on an episode of Dolly Parton's Heartstrings (2019).

How about the ten-year old Manson in Undercover Brother 2 (2019), with Michael Jai White as the Undercover Brother?

Jason Sudeikis' kid in Driven (2018)? 

The kid who would grow up to be Jake Johnson (left) in Tag (2018)?

17 acting roles, nothing terribly heteronormative, but nothing of particular gay interest, either.

Tyler still gets a profile because:

1. Ar 5'5", he's a member of the Short Guy Brigade.  Look how he's dwarfed by the 5'10" Adam Sandler (a few years ago).

2. The last name Crumley is distinctive.  It sounds like it belongs in a Richie Rich comic book, where characters are named after their main personality trait: "This is my Cousin Crumley."

There are actually several Tyler Crumleys out there, including a woman in Fort Worth; a baseball coach in Georgia; a maintenance technician in South Carolina; a builder from Etowah, Tennessee; and a disabled young man who scored a very attractive prom date due to his uncanny resemblance to Chris Hemsworth.

As you can see.

More after the break

Pilot Bunch: Unbreakable boyfriend, zombie boyfriend, teen Jesus manager. With n*de dudes from New Orleans and Hawaii

 

I may have met Pilot Bunch, who played Johnny B., buddy of the teenage Jesus on The Righteous Gemstones, at a Halloween party a few years ago. No, we didn't hook up.

Today he looks a lot like my niece before she began transitioning.  And coincidentally, their boyfriends look very similar, too.

Pilot was born in Kazakhstan, but grew up in Atlanta, where he will graduate from the Woodward Academy in 2025.   His first acting role was in The Lion King, performed at his elementary school.  He got an agent at age 11, and began appearing on tv at age 14.  To date he has twelve on-screen credits  listed on the IMDB, including:

Four episodes of Drama Club (2021), a Nickelodeon mockumentary about a middle school drama club recruitng a football player (Chase Vacnin).  Sounds like "High School Musical."

Pilot plays Colin, the chem-class lab partner of focus character Mack (a girl).  In an interview in TresA, he says that he loved the character: "witty, sarcastic, and always messing with Curtis (Reyn Doi).  Reyn Doi usually plays gay characters, so we can assume that Colin is gay-subtext or gay-vague.

In 2021, Pilot played Vincent, a resident of the Alexandria Safe Zone, in  the post-apocalyptic The Walking Dead.  "A reckless, immature bully," he and his friends play "chicken" with a child zombie (Augustus Morgan, son of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays antagonist Negan).  He says that the role was fun because he got to hang out with Augustus in his zombie makeup. 

He also has roles on The Wonder Years, 115 Grains, The Hill, and Red One, and some theater, including Shenandoah.  He plays Robert, who is kidnapped by Union soldiers during the Civil War (right, with Caleb Baumann as Gabriel)  Robert isn't dead; Gabriel is his best friend, not an angel.

Pilot's biggest role to date is in The Unbreakable Boy (2025), a biographical heartwarmer featuring Austin (Jacob Laval), who has a brittle-bone disorder and is on the autism spectrum.  Pilot starts out a bully, but becomes Austin closest friend and supporter. In a feature article in Pop Size, he notes that the role has special significance for him, because his brother is on the autism spectrum

Pilot's Instagram contains no pictures of him with girls, except for this one, but he could hardly help it: it was at a friend's birthday party.  Otherwise it's boys all the way down.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Kurt Ostlund: Disney Channel's Slab, comic book fan, bank robber, gay best friend, n*de bodybuilder

Mr. Young (2011-13), on Disney XD, featured Brendan Meyer as a genius who graduates from college at age 15 and, instead of taking a professorship at MIT and working on the string theory of the universe, becomes a high school science teacher.  In standard teencom style, he has a best friend, a crush, and a bully -- all students at the school -- and hilarity ensues.  And a lot of tongue-lolling, jaw-dropping "Girl of My Dreams" heteronormative ideology

But it wasn't totally execrable. There was a gay-subtext bromance between the buddies, and the bully Slab (Kurt Ostlund) only expressed heterosexual interest once.  Plus he had some gender-atypical traits that key in to gay stereotypes.

I've checked the adult careers of the three main male actors, and it looks like Slab is the only one with gay potential.  So let's take a look:

Not him, a Playgirl model from 1991 and current disc golf champion.  The name is close, though.

Our guy went on to play more slabs in heteronormative projects:

Hothead in Mark & Russell's Wild Ride (2015): two high schoolers try to win the Girl of Their Dreams or something.

Oggy in Unseen (2016): A family man who's invisible searches for his missing daughter.  It's not a comedy.

But then he went full-on bear to play gay-vague or "no expression of heterosexual interest" characters, such as a comic book fan who is targeted by a ghost for stealing important issues in an episode of Supernatural (2018).

Soldiers in Project Blue Book (2019) and The Terror (2019).

Strong Boy in 15 episodes of Snowpiercer (2020-2022), about a train that carries the last survivors of humanity after the world becomes a frozen wasteland.  He is brain-addled from his trauma, but eventually recovers, joins the resistance (there's always a resistance), and sacrifices himself to save his friends.

More after the break

Gavin's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 4: A boy and his bully, a boy and his stuntman, Kelton Dumont, Santa Claus, and some n*de dudes

 

Previous: Gavin's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 3: A boy and his monkey, a boy and his fish, bikers, surfing, and bodybuilder buds

This is a collection of cute/cool photos of Gavin Munn, who plays Jonathan on Raising Dion and Abraham on The Righteous Gemstones.  He was under 18 at the original post, so no n*de photos, but I included some of his costars and friends.

1. Such as Jesse La Flair, parkour athlete, who will be the stunt double of Kimball Farley in Righteous Gemstones Season 4.

2. In Dear Santa (2024), a dyslexic boy writes a letter to Santa Claus, but it accidentally goes to Satan (Jack Black), who appears to help him gain self-confidence, best a bully, and win the Girl.  Gavin plays the bully.  

I don't know why he needs a mannequin.  Does Satan, like, shoot him out of a cannon?

3. Bullies wear colorful outfits

4. In case you want to see Satan and Santa Claus riffing.  That's actually Kyle Gass, who plays a science teacher.

5. A boy and his fish.

6. A boy and his boat

More Gavin and buds after the break

Picco: A lot of male nudity amid the brutal, homophobic denizens of a German youth prison

 Someone recommended the German psychological horror movie Picco, about the inmates at a juvenile detention center  -- "lots of naked bodies on display."  There's bound to be some buddy-bonding, and maybe some homoerotic relations, right? 

Wikipedia says that it features a "troubled young man" named Jakub, who becomes enmeshed in a "harsh social hierarchy" and "the brutal realities of life behind bars."  That's like every prison movie ever made.

The IMDB doesn't mention a Jakob.  Here it's Kevin, a new boy in the prison, played by Constantine Jascheroff, and his three surly, belligerant, homophobic cellmates. The Variety review names them:

1. The psycho-violent Marc, played by Frederick Lau.

2. His belligerant crony, Andy, played by Martin Kiefer

More after the break