Gemstones Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed. With Ryan, Vance, and Hamlet dicks

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.3: Keefe does stuff with the Devil.  So does Eli.  With a pole dancer's dick and the Groundskeeper's butt

In the first part of Episode 4.3, Kelvin has night terrors and a feeling of impending doom as his last safe place is destroyed, the siblings worry that Eli is schtupping Aimee-Leigh's best friend, and BJ (Tim Baltz) falls on his head during a pole dancing contest

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Tim Baltz with stunt double Ryan Moody

Is BJ Dead?: The family gathers at the hospital.  Everyone wonders why Eli and Lori arrived at the same time, suspecting that the two are having s*x.  Maybe focus on the crisis?

A doctor appears and tells Judy "I'm very sorry."  Ulp.

No, BJ isn't dead, but he's paralyzed, and will have to use a wheelchair.  Judy cries.  "What are we going to do?"

Left: Maybe Ryan's little friend will cheer you up.

The Quail Hunt: Eli, Jesse, and some members of the Cape and Pistol Society in ridiculous floppy-hat uniforms shooting quail, I think.  I don't see the significance of this scene, except to contrast with the Civil War scenes in the trailer.  

How Many Gay Gemstones? Cut to the Cape and Pistol headquarters, where a minister congratulates Jesse on his brother being nominated for Top Christ Following Man of the Year.   Rival megachurch pastor Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff, top photo), one of the Season 3 antagonists, has also been nominated, and complains: "I guess your homosexual brother is the one with the juice nowadays." 

This doesn't upset Jesse, so Vance tries again.  "I heard your brother-in-law fell out of the sky...Word on the street is that he was stripping..how many homosexuals does that make in your family now?"

"Two," Jesse answers.  "The same number of dead parents in your family."

Wait -- he can't be agreeing that BJ is gay, so who is the second "homosexual"?  Keefe?  But he and Kelvin aren't married.  

Gideon?  Remember, Aimee-Leigh admitted Scotty to the family after his death, and Gideon hasn't expressed any interest in anyone since.  Maybe he's still in mourning.

Vance tries again: "You're losing in our rivalry due to your poor character."  You're not exactly a saint yourself, Vance Baby.   His churches have turned into bathrooms, "with that filth your brother's been preaching. It's what your church is becoming known for.  Does that bother you?"

Of course Kelvin's success bothers Jesse, but not for that reason, so he counters that he is succesful too.  And the ministers start to circle.

More after the break

Ryan Masson: Gay actor with one gay role and then "girls! girls! girls!" all the way down. With his d*ck and a bonus Zack Robidas

 

In The Last of Us, Episode 2.4 (2025), some 20 years into the zombie Apocalypse, the Washington Liberation Front ("Wolves') and a death cult called the Seraphites are battling for control of zombie-ravaged Seattle.  Wolf Isaac (Jeffrey Wright) captures  Seraphite Malcolm (Ryan Masson) and tortures him into revealing the location of cult's headquarters.  

It's a brutal scene.  Malcolm is all bloody, so I'm not going to show his face.  But I was interested in his cute little cock.  Maybe we could take a look at Ryan Masson in more aesthetically pleasing roles.

Ryan grew up in Memphis.  He became interested in acting through watching old movies with his grandfather, novelist John Fergus Ryan.

 He played Puck in his middle-school production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and a dandy in A Christmas Carol. although he didn't know what a dandy was.  By high school, he knew, and shied away from the theater, thinking it too "feminine."

At the College of Charleston, Ryan majored in biology and minored in French, planning to go to some isolated locale to researched endangered species.  But the acting bug won out over his fear of being "called gay": he starred in Romeo and Juliet (as Romeo) and Child's Play (about a Catholic school where some of the boys are demon-possessed).  

During his senior year, Ryan starred in the weekly webseries Dank Shadows (2011), a parody of the 1960s Gothic soap opera.  His Marolyn Foddard was a reflection of the vampire, werewolf, and Frankenstein-bedevilled heiress Carolyn Stoddard. 

After graduation, Ryan moved to Los Angeles and enrolled at the California Institute of the Arts, where he received a MFA in acting in 2015.  

He went home for four episodes of  Feral (2016), which is not about werewolves: it's an angst-drama about LGBTQ friends, like Looking but set in Memphis.   He plays the boyfriend of focus character Billy (Jordan Nichols), who suffers from depression.  I guess he wasn't worried about being "called gay" anymore.

His next starring role was Involution (2018), a Russian movie where "the Earth has been sent out of control, affected by a cruel and inhuman mechanism that turns back Darwin's Theory of Evolution."  I don't know what that means, but Ryan's character gets a girlfriend.

A comedic role, sort of, in the "Thelma and Louise" episode of Good Girls (2019), about three suburban housewives who commit crimes.  One of their husbands is interested in killing crime boss Rio (Manny Montana, top photo), so he hires professional assassins PJ and Tobin (Ryan, Travis Mills).  They turn out to be "not what he expected."  

I'll have to check the episode to see if they are a gay couple.

Nope, they talk about "getting all freaky" with chicks.

Left: When I went through the cast list of Good Girls to see if any of the male actors had n*de photos, this popped up.  It's Zack Robidas, who does not appear on the show.

More after the break

Blake McIver: The "musical" kid from "Full House" grows up, sings, snoots, and shows us what Superman is packing

Full House (1987-95) was a TGIF sitcom set in an annoyingly gay-free San Francisco.  The premise: sportscaster Danny (Bob Saget) loses his wife (don't worry, it's a 1980s death, with no grief).  He can't take care of his three daughters on his own, so his friends Joey and Jesse (Dave Coulier, John Stamos) move in to help. 

I didn't watch -- in West Hollywood in the 1980s and 1990s, who was home on a Friday night?  But I recognize the iconic Full House house, 1709 Broderick Street, about two miles from the Castro, and I know that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, who played Danny's infant daughter Michelle, became pop culture icons, starring in a string of movies before starting their own fashion company.  

If you watched, you may have noticed Blake McIver Ewing, who played Derek, Michelle's "musical" friend and fellow thespian, during Seasons 6-8.  From the clips I watched while researching this profile, I gather that he is quite femme.  A contemporary blogger references "the blinding supernova of Derek's undeniable gayness," but on the show itself no one ever suspects.  Michelle's friend Lisa even asks him to the Big Valentine's Day Dance. 

The grown-up Blake's primary interest is music -- his IMDB biography effuses over its "wonderful power to be cohesive, moving, influential, emotive, subdued, deferential, caustic, achingly beautiful, full of character, simplistic, complex and/or virtually any other adjective one can think of."  Like overwritten?   He has 44 music credits and 15 composing credits on the IMDB, and nine songs available on Apple Music, including the gay anthems "It Gets Better" and "This is Who We Are."

He was recently cast in The Boy from Oz, a musical about the life of bisexual singer/songwriter Peter Allen.

But Blake also has 31 acting credits, beginning with the six-year old Ned, played as a grownup by Gabriel Olds, in Calendar Girl (1993) -- which everybody in West Hollywood went to because of the opportunity to gawk at the backsides of Gabriel and Jason Priestley, but not Jerry O'Connell, darn it.

Other than Derek, Blake is best known for playing Waldo Aloysius Johnston II in the Little Rascals movie (1994).  He sabotages the Big Go-Kart Race and steals the girlfriend of preteen Lothario Alfalfa (future homophobe Bug Hall).  Don't worry, she dumps him and returns to Alfalfa after discovering that he is a jerk.

What Superman is packing after the break

Ted Prior: Man-mountain hero of the macho 1980s, Chippendale dancer, Playgirl model. Any gay content?

 

N*de photos of this guy have been sitting in my "to profile" file since March, and since I have some free time today (and my pageviews are down by about 70%)," I'll give him a try.

His name is Ted Prior.  He was active primarily during the 1980s Reagan-Bush era  man-mountain craze, when Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and a dozen lesser lights -- Chuck Norris, Reb Brown, Steven Seagal, Michael Pare -- stormed into POW camps and drug lord lairs, got tortured while shirtless, single-handedly defeated entire armies, and won The Girl, thus demonstrating the "supremacy" of white heterosexual America.

Born in New Jersey in 1959 and raised in Baltimore, Ted originally planned to become a professional bodybuilder -- he states that he won Teenage Mr. Maryland and "ten other awards" before he turned 19.  He moved to Los Angeles, in fact, so he could train at Gold's Gym.

But he worked in theater, too, and once he hit L.A., a walk-on as a bodybuilder in an episode of The Incredible Hulk (1981) convinced him to try his hand at acting. His first starring roles were in  Sledgehammer (1983) and Killzone (1985), written and directed by his older brother David.

Most of Ted's work for the next twenty years would come from David's production company, Action International Pictures: Operation Warzone (1988), Jungle Assault (1989), The Final Sanction (1990), Raw Justice (1994).

Ted's most famous film, Deadly Prey (1987) is a sort of The Most Dangerous Game. People are being kidnapped and taken to a secret jungle enclave, where the evil Colonel Hogan (David Campbell) has his mercenaries hunt them down.  Vietnam Vet Mike (Ted) is grabbed while taking out the garbage, brought to the enclave, stripped, greased, gawked at, and forced to run naked through the jungle.  Uh-oh, they kidnapped the wrong guy.

He is shirtless throughout: a major draw of the film, as you can see from the VHS tape cover.

In November 2024, the Lyric Hyperion Theater in Silverlake, the second gay neighborhood in Los Angeles, held a "Deadly Prey" day, and promised Ted Prior "in the flesh," har har.

The only other Ted Prior movie that I reviewed was Lost at War (2007): five soldiers are trapped in a foxhole while mysterious creatures force them to re-live painful moments of their past.  It is heavy with gay subtexts.

During the 1980s, Ted worked as a Chippendale dancer.  This led to modeling gigs in the  October 1983 and March 1984 issues of Playgirl.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.