"The Resort": Skyler Gisondo disappears on Christmas Day at a creepy Mayan resort




The Resort, on Peacock, s a murder-mystery tv series set on the Mayan Riviera, where rich people go sunbathing and ignore the Mayan ruins. It stars Skyler Gisondo, and it features a gay couple, both named Ted, so I'm in.  I reviewed Episode 1, "The Disappointment of Time."

Scene 1: The airport shuttle stops at Akumal, a tropical resort. Wait -- did it knock over a vase?  Noah (William Jackson Harper) and his wife Emma exit.  Manager Luna gives them bracelets that will "get you everything you need "Even heroin?"  I didn't know that this was a comedy; the previews make it look like a murder mystery.

It's their tenth anniversary,  but they don't seem particularly lovey-dovey.  They don't even sit together in the golf cart.





Scene 2:
In their room, they bump fists and then collapse onto separate beds.  No smooching?  Ok, one kiss, but Noah complains that Emma's breath stinks. 

Scene 3: Time for dinner, but Noah is asleep -- jet lag, he says, although it's only a three hour time difference.  Emma watches tv, then examines a mysterious scar on her belly (this will become important later) and hits the pool.  She checks an online quiz to see if she should dump Noah. He's not cheating, so no....




Scene 4
: Emma snoozing and hungover on a tour bus while Noah talks to an older gay couple, Ted and Ted (Parvesh Chena, Michael Hitchcock). They are obviously hot for each other, although they've been together for decades.  

Left: Luis Guzman appears in two episodes

Their secret: every seven years they visit somewhere they've never been before (Laos, Memphis, and now Mexico) to see if they want to stay together.  Maybe they've changed.  Maybe they no longer make each other happy.  So far, so good, 21 years. 

They arrive, and ride go-karts through the jungle. Darn, I thought they were going to Chichen Itza.   Emma lags behind.  Whoops, she crashes and tumbles down into a ravine. While down there, she finds an antiquated cell phone.  She hides it before the others come to rescue her.

Scene 5:  That night, in a bar.  Emma the Alcoholic wants a drink, but Noah insists that she can't have any alcohol due to the pain meds from her injuries.   The Teds arrive and ask how she's feeling.  She excuses herself and goes out to the pool to check on the fossilized cell phone.  Why so mysterious?  I'd be showing it to the others right away.


Later, as Noah snores, she sneaks out to an all-night cell phone store and buys a phone like the fossilized one she found.  She transfers the SIM, charges, and voila, it works!  Pictures of Sam (Skyler Gisondo)  being licked by a dog, watching fireworks, meeting a girl in a UCLA sweater, drawing cartoons, and at the Oceana Vista Resort!

Messages from 12/26/07, the day after Christmas 15 years ago. "Call me," from Mom. "Where are you?" from Dad.  "I am so sorry," from Hanna.  

Scene 6: A cabbie takes Emma to the Oceana Vista Resort.  It's deserted, locked up, overrun with vegetation.  He could have just said that.   "People died in there," he explains. 

Scene 7: Back in the hotel room, Emma googles "Oceana Vista"  It was destroyed by a "rogue holiday hurricane" on December 27, 2007, the day after Sam went missing.

Actually, two tourists went missing, Sam and Violet.  They were apparently unacquainted.  "Nothing about what happened made any sense," the detective said, "But I suspect foul play."

Scene 8: Flashback to December 24, 2007.  On an airplane, Sam (Skyler) is working on a cartoon about women with large breasts and butts unloading stuff from the overhead bins.  Heterosexual identity established within five seconds. 

He shows his art to his UCLA-sweatshirt girlfriend. She wants to know what it means.  "Nothing.  Not everything has to have a deeper meaning."  Is that a challenge, Sam?  

She thinks it's a commentary on the American tourist industry exploiting local cultures. Maybe this couple will visit some Mayan ruins instead of playing on go-karts.

While they are discussing how much they love each other, the guy across the aisle, Carl (Dylan Baker),  asks his wife if Sam might be gay.  "He has a girlfriend!", she protests.  

"A lot of my gay friends used to have girlfriends."  

She doesn't believe that her husband has any gay friends.  He appears in four episodes, so he must be important.


Scene 9:
They'll be in Cancun in two hours.  Uh-oh, girlfriend's phone is buzzing, and she's asleep!  

Sam checks: A text from her professor, asking her to text him when she lands.  Hmm -- a little teacher-student nookie going on?  

Then: "Had fun tonight!" A photo of some male-female legs intertwined. "Anal sex tonight?"  A dick pic!  Hanna says that she's falling in love with him in a post dated December 18th,  six days ago!  

Carl from across the aisle notices the dick pic, and cries out in horror.  Sam slams the phone shut.  Homophobic, aren't you?

More butts after the break

Cullen Moss: Two drag queens, two homophobes, a security guard, a fairy, and a frontal

 

Cullen Moss is one of those actors who you've seen in a dozen tv shows and movies, but he is so completely immersed in the role that when you see him again, you don't recognize him.  

Born in Brooklyn but raised in North Carolina, he graduated from Mount Tambor High School in 1993 and moved immediately into local North Carolina theater.  A lot of iconic and gay-positive roles:


Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire
Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream
Alan Strang, the one who gets naked on stage in Equus
Clifford Bradshaw, the Christopher Isherwood character, in Cabaret
The drag queen Albin in La Cage aux Folles
The closeted, homophobic Roy Cohn in Angels in America


His tv career began with some voiceovers in the 90s, followed by a starring role in One Tree Hill, 2003-2012, as Junk Moretti, a high school student with a "girlfriend who lives in Canada" (we've all been there; mine lived in Paris). 

Later Cullen has played a detective in Your Honor, a cop in The Walking Dead, and ..his list of credits on IMDB goes on like that.



In a two-episode story arc on Eastbound & Down in 2013, Cullen played Mark, "the smarmy, slow-motion punching, donut-gifting smuck of a rental car company manager," boss of Danny McBride's washed-up baseball player.





This led to a role as Brock, head security guard of the Gemstone Compound in Righteous Gemstones Episodes 1.6 and 1.7.  Scotty, Gideon's "friend from California" and co-conspirator in the blackmail scheme, flirts with him to get easy access to compound, even asking for shirtless photos.

Brock returns in Episode 1.9, to deny BJ admission after he and Judy break up, criticize his name, and act like a macho jerk.

He returns in Episode 2.3, to announce that Eli's friend Junior is at the front gate.  Eli says to not admit him, and they argue.

More Cullen after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.7: Keefe is in love, Scotty is hard, and everyone s*ks dick. With pictures of guys doing it.

 

PreviousEpisode 1.6: Kelvin sees Keefe's cock, and gets a big head.

In Episode 1.6, after the blackmail plot fell through, Gideon and Scotty came up with a plan to steal the $3,000,000 in offerings that the church receives during the Easter service.  Gideon had doubts, but then Scotty showed up at his parents' house, pretending to be a friend visiting from California! 

Title: "And yet one of you is a devil."  From John 6.70. Jesus is complaining that he chose 12 disciplines, and one will betray him.  I guess we know who the devil is.

Prayer Power: A flashback to the Prayer Power Convention in Atlanta.  Gideon comes into the hotel room, upset: he was planning to have dinner with his Dad, but Jesse ditched him to play drinking games with his crew.  Jesse insults him, ridicules his upcoming internship and "California dreams," and orders him out.  On the way, Gideon sets his camera to take the video he would use for blackmailing.  So he didn't run away; the family knew that he had an intership set up. Why did Jesse act as if it was a big mystery.

Gideon the soul-winner: In the present, Scotty is having dinner with the family.  He explains that he came to South Carolina for a stunt job, but he "got banged up" and had to drop out.  Then he says that he came to see Gideon, who brought him to Christ. The family is so overjoyed that the "prodigal son" has become a soul-winner that no one notices the contradictions.


Uh-oh, Jesse recognizes Scotty from somewhere!  His cover is almost blown, but Scotty claims that he had a recurring role as a rapist on CSI Miami.  Rapist -- interesting choice, since CSI is about murder (you gather forensic evidence from the crime scene).  Scotty is painting himself as a sexual predator.  I wonder if Gideon is his latest victim.

Amber insists that he stay with them. Gideon protests, but Scotty touches his hand, and he consents.  So, Scotty, do you want a guest room, or would you prefer to share Gideon's bed?

We cut to a scene of Eli giving the siblings their Easter assignments; Judy will sing during the collection, Jesse will preach the sermon, and Kelvin has to lead a youth group song and dance number, which angers him (he's the youth minister; what did he expect?)

Shirt on, shirt off:  In the morning, Scotty and Gideon stop at the security station on their way out of the compound.  Hey, Scotty has his arm on Gideon's shoulder.   Everybody who sees them will think that they are a romantic couple.   Scotty flirts with security guard  Brock: "If you get to L.A., I'll get you an agent."  But he needs head shots, shirtless shots, and so on.  This is way more than Scotty needs to get access to the compound.  He just wants to see Brock naked.  


I'm gonna be rock-hard: 
Cut to the guys having dinner (score: three dinners for Scotty/Gideon, none for Kelvin/Keefe).  They discuss the plan: on Sunday morning, after the offering is counted, Gideon and Martin will take it down the service elevator to the vault.  Scotty will be waiting, wearing his devil's mask, and rob them.  How will he get out of the church, with thousands of people milling about?

"As soon as the elevator door opens," he promises, "I'm gonna be rock-hard."  

"Nothing too big," Gideon cautions.  He can't help his size, dude.

To make it believable and not implicate Gideon, Scotty suggests tying him up, and using a few P-whips. This term is not defined online.  Could it mean penis-whip?

Scotty has more news: He got the sex tape fixed, so he can do the original blackmail plan in addition to robbing the church. "This is what you always wanted," he says. "We destroy your old man."  Gideon is not so sure that he wants Jesse destroyed.

Tell TJ to walk out: Cut to Judy announcing to Baby Billy that they will be performing during the Easter service. But Baby Billy doesn't want to: "too little, too late."  BJ protests, and Billy orders him to leave.  Judy agrees: "You're making me look like an idiot.  Go outside!"  Uh-oh, disrespecting your boyfriend.  Since the Kelvin/Keefe plot runs parallel, we should be expecting some discord in their relationship soon.

Billy continues: "Your Daddy is a fame whore.  He'd suck a man's cock in the middle of town square if he thought it would make him famous forever. He'd suck ten men's cocks."  Being outed as gay or bi is the most embarrassing thing Billy can think of. This may suggest a general attitude of homophobia that will make Kelvin's coming out difficult.


Part of the Family: 
Jesse takes everyone  out on his yacht.  Scotty complements the family on how close they are,  His own dad is in prison.  Jesse offers to be his Daddy, and hugs him.  Eli never once hugged Keefe.  Of course, it's just an act; Scotty waggles his tongue at Gideon over Jesse's shoulder, a vulgar gesture similar to what Keefe experienced at the sports bar.  Wait -- is he teasing Gideon, or offering to have oral sex with him?

Is it all an act?  Scotty seems to like being part of the family.  The background song tells him: 

The days are getting brighter – the sunlight feels like gin.

Juices punch and cider shiver deep within

You don’t have to be alone, when we’re having so much fun.

Don’t be alone

The Prayer Circle: Just before the Easter service (17,000 people in the Salvation Center, six million world wide), Eli, the siblings, their partners, and Martin have a prayer circle, Kelvin/Keefe are holding hands and praying.  Scotty is holding Keefe's hand and glaring.  Why isn't he standing next to Gideon, his "friend"? 


I Have to Be a Man: 
We see a few moments of Levi's Christian rock number, then switch to Kelvin leading the teens in their song-and-dance.    Keefe, working security in the bleachers, seems to be making an "I love you" gesture. 

Meanwhile, Gideon is in the bathroom, throwing up, and Judy rejects Eli's offer of singing during the offertory.

Cut to Judy's dressing room.  She criticizes BJ for asking if she's ok.  He counters that he is not even religious, but he has always been there for her.  She continues to berate him for attempting emotional support until he's had enough and leaves: "I have to stand up for myself.  I have to be a man." He starts crying and runs away. Judy throws her engagement ring after him.  .

"What is a man?" is an ongoing question of the season.  It was discussed in Gideon's "welcome home" dinner.  Kelvin declares that he is "a man" frequently.  The definitions are contradictory: being muscular; controlling your emotions; being in charge; standing up for yourself; being heterosexual.  Maybe we'll get a resolution when the episode continues.

Guys doing it after the break.  Warning: explicit.

Brock Cock, Part 1: From the God Squad to the Immortal Kane, with bonus Daryl McCormack and James Duval


 
Everybody needs a little Brock O'Hurn now and then.  At least his 1.7 million instagram followers think so.  Brock has played any number of muscle-hunks, including Hulk Hogan, Thor, Tarzan, a "swole Mel Brooks," and guys named Horse and Ragnar Stormbringer.  






He may be most famous as  Torsten, the "gentle giant" of the God Squad, a homoerotic muscle commune, in Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones.  Presumably Adam Devine isn't in character here, or he'd be much more interested in the muscles pressing against him.






Here Brock is a shirtless cowboy in the video Wild West Showdown.  








Brock is a co-creator and model for Kane Comic Universe about an immortal muscleman who travels through time, fighting demons, evil gods, madmen, and so on. Warning: Issue #2 features women's boobs rather than Brock pecs.






I promised Brock cock, but actually, he has only one nude scene on tv, in Euphoria, which I post in Brock Cock Part 2.   I just like saying "Brock cock."

But to fill my cock quota, here's Irish actor Daryl McCormack.











More Brock and cock after the break