Showing posts with label office. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office. Show all posts

Workaholics, Episode 6.1: Blake is gay in this one, but don't worry, Adam still likes dicks. With bonus Dane cock...I mean Cook




Workaholics,
with Adam Devine, Blake Anderson, and Anders Holm as a trio of loveable goofballs, rarely disappoints.  Adam takes his shirt off more often than not, and usually expresses an interest in men, or at least penises.   But not always, and there are a lot of "let's look at naked ladies!" plotlines -- this was on Comedy Central, after all -- so going in cold, reviewing an episode without watching it first, is risky. 

But I'm feeling adventurous, so let's go.   Episode 6.1, "The Wolves of Rancho," a parody of The Wolves of Wall Street -- the guys work as telemarketers in Rancho Cucamonga.

Scene 1: At the office, instead of working, Blake and Ders are having  a beatbox battle, while Adam moderates. 


Scene 2
: The guys continue to avoid work, hiding behind the office to eat noodles.  Suddenly Cushing (Liam Hemsworth), who used to work there, drives up in his Porsche.   They're amazed: "You've changed -- you used to look horrible, but now you're hot."  

And how can a telemarker afford a Porsche?  It's because he transfered to the Van Nuys office, where his boss, JP (Dane Cook, below), is an inspiration.  

Scene 3: They yell at their own boss, Alice.  Why do they spend all day doing beat-box contests and taking naps?  Why aren't they making the big commissions? Because she's a lousy leader.  They insist that she transfer them to the Van Nuys branch, where they can be inspired by a real leader, and become great men and "playboy pimps."  She agrees.

Scene 4: Their new office, all dark and deserted.  A guy on the telephone tells them to "sell me on each other."  Blake: "He could sell sand to Sandra Bullock."  Adam: "He's like a hammerhead shark of telemarketing."  That's enough: The lights go on, and everyone pops out like at a surprise party.  They have a week to prove that they belong at the money-making machine.

Cushing give them the tour -- they each get their own office, decorated however they want, and there are new suits and hair gel products for them.  Hey, Cushing just  "goosed" a passing guy.  That's sexual harassment, buddy, but at least it demonstrates that you are attracted to men.




Scene 5
: JP's inspirational speech: "We're gonna take this week, and butt-f*k it until it dumps Monday."  I don't know what that means, except for the butt-f*king part.  The employees are all dudes, except for two women standing in the background.  Looks like some gender discrimination going on, and quite a lot of dudebro homoeroticism.

JP explains his shark sales strategy: If an old guy says no because he spent all his money on his heart medication, what do you do?  Tell him to buy, and skip the medication!  No means yes!  Adam is horrified, but goes along with it.

Scene 6: End of day: "You crushed it!  200 sales!"  Presumably that means the whole office, not just the guys.  "Now you get to work late and make 200 more!" The guys are exhausted, but it's stay late or get fired. So, do they get time and a half?


To motivate them during their overtime, the big-dicked John Jordan will be coming around with botox injections, and there are sushi strippers: you pick sushi off their naked bodies, presumably trying to reveal the good parts.  Plus Pauly Shore, known for playing annoying characters, in a cage. "If you meet your quota, you can "wease the juice" with him."  I don't know what that means, but it sounds dirty.







Cut to the guys in their offices, doing hard-sells: "Do you care about the happiness of your children?"  Ders is juggling, Adam working out; and Blake doing martial arts. I know this is a "grass is always greener" workplace episode, but isn't Adam contractually obligated to take off his shirt at least once? 

He takes it off after the break

"Partner Track": High-power lawyer is passed over in favor of people with penises. Yes, we see a few.


Partner Track , 
on Netflix, is about a high-powered Manhattan lawyer.  Are there lawyers in any other city?   But I couldn't find any gay characters or subtexts, so here goes. Maybe there will be some grey-suit hunks in steam rooms.

Scene 1: We're in NYC!  You can tell because of the shots of Central Park and the Empire State Building.  Close-up of pink high-heeled shoes, eventually are revealed to be Ingrid, a lawyer  in a pink business outfit, standing out amid the throngs of grey-suit men.  She gives some coin to a homeless guy, gets jostled by a grey-suit man, and tells us that this city is tough on a girl who wants to get ahead.

Inside the glass-and-steel building, she meets her friend, a woman in a blue business outfit.  They discuss Ingrid's obsessive drive to be made junior partner at her law firm (ok, partner track, I get it).   It's down to her, Dan , and Todd, but they have penises, so she has to do something spectacular to tip the balance, like land a major account.  

When they arrive upstairs, Dan and Todd, and a third guy, Hunter, can't wait to start their hetero-horny hostile-workplace sexism: "she's got a wide margin on the face-body quotient.  She looks like you from the back, and Dan from the front.  Ugh!"  So the epitome of ugliness is...a man.  Got it! 



The three grey suits don't have any distinguishing characteristics: they are all fratboy-style hunks, they mention sports every 10 seconds, and they think of women as sex toys..  But in case you are interested, they are played by Zane Philips (top photo), Nolan Gerald Funk (left), who often plays gay roles, and Will Stout ("actor, West Virginian, Dad", but no beefcake).

The butts of the guys follow:

Everyone drools over Ultra-Richster, who will decide on the next junior partner.  They have to really butter him up!  

Ingrid rushes to her office, ignores a phone call from her mother, and tells her assistant to gather all the intel needed to wow Ultra-Richster.  


She also meets her new paralegal Justin (Roby Attal), a white dudebro who has his feet on his desk and is busily texting and ignoring his duties.

Left: Nolan's butt. He's having sex with a lady.

Ingrid's friend asks why she was assigned such a terrible paralegal. The answer: since Ingrid is Korean-American, HR thought that assigning her only paralegals of color might be construed as racist, so they got her a white one. Problem: they couldn't find any competent white paralegals.

Friend shoves his feet off the desk and yells: "Ingrid graduated #2 in her class at Harvard Law.  You will show her some respect!"  Oh, please, every lawyer on tv graduated at the top of their class at Harvard Law.

Scene 2:  Out of nowhere, Friend asks "What happened to the Brit you hooked up with long time ago?  You said he was like Bogart from Casablanca?"  Ingrid shrugs.  "It was just a hookup."  "Well, he was just hired by this firm.  A chance for you to get laid, and take your mind off your obsession with becoming partner!"  Why do you care so much?  Are you a standard romcom friend who exists only to goad the big city girl into accepting the small-town hunk? Or, in this case, hunky Brit?


Scene 3: 
 Ingrid runs into Tyler (Bradley Gibson).  He is wearing a blue suit, so he's a nice guy.  This series is as color-coordinated as an old Western.  He is bragging to someone on his cellphone that he has landed a bunch of accounts, plus he started reading Vogue, Teen Vogue, and Women's Wear Daily when he was 11.  The guy on the phone is impressed, and gives him the account. 

Left: Zane's butt.  He's having sex with a guy.

I thought Tyler would be a standard romcom gay bff,  but he asks Ingrid to "come say hi to the kids at the reception tonight."   Was that thrown in to identify him as heterosexual?  About 20% of gay men have kids, you know.  There are several ways to get the job done that dont require sex with a lady.


Scene 4: 
 Not looking where she is going, Ingrid has a splat! meet-cute encounter with...you guessed it, the Brit, she used to date, Jeff Murphy (Dominic Sherwood).  He stares in cliched teencom Girl-of-my-dreams lust, but unfortunately he doesn't remember Ingrid from their long-ago hookup.  He was way drunk that night.  Ingrid is way pissed.

Whoops, Brit Jeff was hired at level five, whatever that means, so he's in the running for junior partner, too.  Romance between competitors, a cliched...um, I mean classic romcom trope.

Scene 5: All of the contenders -- Dan, Todd, Brit Jeff, and Ingrid -- watch in amusement as the Richster demolishes fawning acolyte Sanders: "Don't ask if you can ask a fucking question, just ask the fucking question! And don't laugh.  Laughter is a coward's expression of fear."  

They bet on which cliched business phrase Richster will use first.

Scene 6: A meeting.  Who wants to work on getting a corporate merger contract worth $2.9 billion? Wait -- is that the law firm's fee?   Ingrid brags about her qualifications, repeatedly, and is ignored.  He assigns Grey Suit Dan instead.  "And this deal is confidential.  Any leak, and I will fucking tear up your fucking license my fucking self."  

Out in the hallway, Grey Suits Dan assigns Ingrid some grunt work.  She fumes.  Is she going to start murdering these grey suits?

Scene 7: Another meeting. The big boss walks right by Ingrid to shake hands with Dudebro Paralegal Justin, because he has a penis.  Maybe he wants to see it?  Then he orders Ingrid to bring them some wine. She relegates the task to Justin. "Oh...you're the associate?  Sorry...you look so...young."  He means "lacking a penis."  Everybody else arrives, and Ingrid is ignored again as they delve into sports and car metaphors.

Guys demonstrate that they have penises after the break