1. Why do gay men in movies always live in New York?
2.Why are they always super-affluent, when in real life they earn on the average 20% less than straight men?
3. Why are their friends all straight women? When I lived in West Hollywood, you had straight acquaintances who you weren't out to, but friends, never.
That's just the first three questions I have about Almost Love (2019), a gay-themed comedy about a super-elitist NYC gay guy and his straight female buddies, who have trivial problems.
1.Adam (Scott Evans, top) wants to be a painter, but he's stuck in a dead-end job ghost-painting for the famous-but-nasty Ravella Brewer. Question 4: why are all gay guys in movies working as lawyers, actors, or artists?
His boyfriend Marklin (Augustus Prew, bottom) is a famous blogger who is constantly getting fawned over by fans. They're vaguely unhappy and unfulfilled, but dismiss any suggestion of moving forward in their relationship by getting married, buying a house, and having kids.
Instead they....gasp...hook up on the side, which this movie portrays as the ultimate in betrayal. Question 5: why are all gay guys in movies obsessed with monogamy? There are a lot of open relationships out there.
Left: Augustus' butt
2. His BFF #1, Elizabeth, is celebrating her 15th anniversary with Damon (Chaz Lamar Shepherd, left) , wondering "Is this all there is?" Question 6: How are these people friends? Adam is an artist, and Liz never sets foot in a museum, except for the free wi-fi.
3. His BFF #2, Haley, works as a tutor. This doesn't seem like the sort of job that would get her the big bucks, but she lives in a huge loft with bare brick wall and gigantic paintings. Her problem: the high school boy she's tutoring, Scott (Christopher Gray), isin love with her. The age of consent in New York is 17, so he's not jail bait, but he is certainly inappropriate. He threatens to kill himself if she refuses him. Question 7:in what way is this funny or endearing?
4. His BFF #3, Cammie, is dating Henry (Colin Donnell), perfect in every way -- except it turns out that he's homeless! Her friends cringe. "You invited a homeless guy into your apartment? You touched him? Yuck! Gross!" Question 8: how elitist can they get? Is being homeless a disease?
Beefcake: None. Question 9: what is the point of a gay-themed movie with no beefcake?
Other Sights: New York location shots.
Gay Characters: The guys, a gay rights canvasser, a potential hookup.
Elitism: Through the roof. Question 10: Why does everyone in this movie look down on people who are poor or Hollywood poor (middle class in the real world)?
My Grade: C.
Bonus Scott Evans after the break