Shia LaBeouf: From gay-subtext teencom to heterosexual porn. At least he shows us his dick a lot.

Even Stevens (2000-2003) was one of the first, and best, of the Disney Channel teencoms, featuring middle-school boyfriends Louis and Twitty (Shia LaBeouf, A.J. Trauth).  Episode plots emphasize their romance:

Louis becomes jealous when Twitty starts hanging out with a girl.

Louis becomes jealous when Twitty starts hanging out with a boy.

Louis becomes a celebrity, straining his relationship with Twitty.

 I remember an episode where they were sitting together on the couch, not on opposite ends like most people, but squeezed in with their thighs pressing together.  "They're not even trying to hide it," I thought.  

Add Nick Spano as a hunky older brother and Fred Meyers as older sister's swishy bff, and you have a gay-subtext classic. 

Seasons change, teencoms are cancelled, and the actors move on.  Nick Spano, top photo, majored in English literature at UCLA and now runs the Re/Creation Cafe.  

AJ Trauth, left, lives in Ohio. 

Fred Meyers is a paramedic.

As far as I can tell, they're all heterosexual in real life.

And what about Louis Stevens, Shia LaBeouf?

He moved into dark, depressing indies about lost, dying, grieving, and enraged youth:

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints: as his friends are killed or kill themselves, Shia believes that he is protected by the saints.

Bobby: The night of Robert Kennedy's assassination

Disturbia. A teen under house arrest "rear-windows" a serial killer.

When he veered into science fiction, as in Transformers, it was always a boy and a girl gazing into each other's eyes forever.

He shows his penis on screen for the first time in the 2012 music video Sigur Rós: Fjögur píanó, which looks Icelandic but is actually in English.  It's about a boy and a girl gazing into each other's eyes forever.

More dick and a Catholic priest after the break

Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Boner pills, Death Water, dildos, and "Why the hell not?"

 

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Tony Cavalero, best known as Dewey on The School of Rock,  Ozzie Ozbourne in Dirt, and Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, with a few of his friends.

1. You post these beefcake photos, and expect me to settle down?  Dude, that's impossible.

2. "I'll be home late.  They want to re-shoot the scene with my cock out, so half the crew will be asking for a selfie."

3. "Why do I have to be in makeup for this scene?"

3. Tony plays a hijacker on an episode of the spy spoof Archer. Kayvan Novak plays Fabian Kingsworth, the head of a rival agency.

5. "I thought dildos were supposed to be bigger than your dick."

6. You definitely want this photo of Tony in an "American born and bred" t-shirt, his belly and underwear showing, drinking Liquid Death water under the Hollywood sign.  Don't pretend that you don't.

More Tony after the break. Warning: Explicit

Robert's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Beefy boyfriend, helicopter penis, and strongman sex

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Robert Oberst, a professional strongman who held the American record for the log press.  He starred in two strongman reality programs, and played Cousin Karl in Righteous Gemstones Season 3.

1. "Want to play with my balls?"

2. "So, Eddie, are you big all over?"

3. Well, now you know.

4. "How do you play the Helicopter Penis game?"

5. Robert demonstrates

 6. "I don't remember where I left my underwear."

More after the break