In American offices at Christmastime, it's traditional for everyone to swap names and give anonymous presents. Thus, "Secret Santa" as title of movies in 2003, 2014, 2015, 2018, 2021, and 2025. The most recent, My Secret Santa on Netflix, shows two guys hugging Saint Nick, so they may be a gay couple. Probably not, or there would be headlines all over the internet, but we'll see.
Scene 1: Establishing shot of an iconic small town, with skaters around a gigantic Christmas tree. nuclear families sledding, kids playing hockey, and the Klotz Cookie Company, where the supervisor, Taylor, is checking on the production of cookies shaped like stockings, reindeer, Santa caps, and so on. She rejects one where Santa looks depressed. A baker asks why she's being so bitchy: she's over-extended financially, in anticipation of her Christmas bonus.
Mr. Clotz calls her over and explains that due to decreased demand for store-bought cookies, he's firing her. Just before Christmas! Can she at least get her bonus?
Scene 2: Home to her crappy apartment, where the landlady yells that she's been late with the rent four months in a row. This was before you were fired? Not very financially responsible, are you?
"Sorry, my daughter wanted a new snowboard for Christmas, and of course that took priority." Are you supposed to be a sympathetic character? Rent before snowboards.
Into her apartment, where daughter Zoey has just been accepted at Snooty Snowboard Academy. Just tell her you can't afford it. It's not a degree granting institution anyway. And where's the gay couple?
Scene 3: Taylor tries to sell some of her old records to get some cash. Record Store Guy (Cam Woodman) only offers a buck apiece, but the rich guy browsing latches on to her Screaming Kittens album -- "these guys were legends!" They're actually all ladies, not guys.
"They were great singers, plus incredibly gorgeous. I was especially attracted to the lead singer, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World....wait, it's you."
Yep, Taylor is the lead singer. I think the guy knew that, and was just trying to find subtle way to flirt. It doesn't work, but at least the record store guy ups his offer to $150.
Rich Guy chases her out onto the sidewalk and tries some more passive-aggressive flirting. She flirts back, but rejects his offer of a date, because otherwise be lousy story.
Scene 4: An apartment full of movie memorabilia. Her big brother howling in a wolf mask. "You guys are adorable," Taylor tells him before complaining that she's had two interviews, but no job yet, and she has to pay the Snooty Snowboarding School by next week. Student loans are not an option?
Big Brother takes the hint and pulls out his wallet. Then he sees the amount due. Nope! If these guys are straight roommates, I'm leaving.
Wait -- Brother's Boyfriend looks up the school, and discovers that employees get 50% off tuition for their dependents. Usually it's free. So Taylor just needs a job there.
Big Brother is played by William Vaughn, who may be gay in real life -- he's a comedian, so it's hard to tell. The Boyfriend, at the bottom of the cast list, has very few lines. If any. He is played by Nathan Kay, who is straight in real life -- his wife wishes him a happy anniversary and says "I love you."
Left: there are no photos of Nathan Kay on his Instagram, except for a few where he's in costume to play an outrageous character of some sort, but he does post a "real photo" of Ben Powles, who plays the bully in "Dear Grandpa, it's Michael." I don't know what that is.
Scene 5: The Sundance Ski Lodge, where the boss is complaining that the manager ran off with "that Latvian ski instructor," and their Santa Claus quit, so they're short-handed. His assistant wants the manager job, but he dismisses her. Subplot time!
While he is listing the events of the next few days, the Rich Guy from the record store appears -- his son Matthew! Wait -- is the Sky Lodge right in town?
Meanwhile, Taylor is at the front desk, telling Blake the Concierge (Corey Hendricks) that she'll do anything -- anything -- even clean toilets. I've never understood why that is used as the worst possible job. We have two toilets in the house, and cleaning them is no problem at all. A lot better than emptying litter boxes.
He says that they aren't hiring right now -- but just then the Assistant walks past, noting that they need someone right away, for $2,000 a month. A job! But it's to play Santa Claus. Bummer! Wait -- who said that the actor playing Santa has to have a penis?
More after the break.