Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.1: Elijah scoundrels, Winston dies, and Kelvin screams
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Gemstone Roll Call: A gold-and-purple Baby Billy announces Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin in angel costumes. The rest of the family joins them on stage for the Aimee-Leigh Birthday Give-A-Thon. Keefe does a high kick. The siblings appear in jetpacks, and rise up over the stage, but things go wrong and they crash. Fortunately, it's just a rehearsal.
Baby Billy's Dong: In the dressing room, the siblings refuse to continue with the jetpack bit, but Baby Billy insists: this is too important. So he's in charge now? And where the heck is Eli? Somewhere in Florida. He won't answer their phone calls.
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Baby Billy then drops his trousers to flop his dong around: "This is what a real man looks like. I booked all these people to the Give-a-Thon, so Eli has to be there!" Fans were complaining that the stunt cock guy had no balls. Who's looking for balls?
Eli Hooks Up: Somewhere in Florida (actually the Keys), a grotesque long-haired Eli awakens on his boat, Nice Mussels, and cooks eggs for the lady he "69ed for 45 minutes" last night. She wants more of his "thick breakfast sausage" instead, but he explains that he is not ready for a relationship. He's still trying to figure out what he wants. Dude, you're 73. Better hurry. Besides, "I don't like you."
She rushes off, but Eli struts down the dock, smoking a cigar, cruising the ladies. Easter Egg: he has a cap from Adams College, a call-back to "The Big Lebowski"
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Uh-oh, it's the siblings, for some reason dressed in their Cape and Pistol society costumes. Judy has an unexplained bandaged hand. They yell at Eli for drinking too much, and when they find a bra, hooking up with ladies. "Am I supposed to be in mourning all my life?" "Yes!" They had the same argument in Season 2, when Eli hooked up with a lady after Bowling Night.
He refuses to go to the telethon. The siblings annoy him by saying "p*ssy" over and over, and making the tongue-through-fingers gesture, until he consents. How does Kelvin know about that?
Time to set up the sibling conflicts for the season:
BJ's Pole: BJ (not pictured) is in a pole dancing class otherwise occupied entirely by women (the casting call asked for men, too, but I guess none showed up). Judy disapproves of him spending so much time aroiund hot ladies, or having any life outside of her, but he explains that the "physical rigor and slightly taboo nature of pole dancing" has keyed into his obsessive nature, like pickleball in Season 3 and skating in Season 2. BJ's story arc always involves trying to become his own person, distinct from Judy.
It turns out that pole dancing is a competitive sport, with men and women participants.
Loud and Proud after the break