Sunday, December 17, 2023

Tony Cavalero and Matisyahu: What's Hanukkah without dreidels and dicks?

 


 Matisyahu ("Gift of God" in Hebrew), born Matthew Paul Miller, is  -- or was -- a Hasidic reggae artist (he has re-invented himself, and no longer identifies as Hasidic).  Tony Cavalero starred in the music video for his song "Miracle" (2011):

At Hanukkah time, Matisyahu is skating with his kids, when Tony accidentally knocks him over! While unconscious, he dreams that he is bed with King Antiochus (Tony ), the evil Greek emperor who was defeated by the Maccabees. Afterwards there was only enough oil in the lamp to light the Temple for one night, but miraculously it stayed lit for eight days: thus we celebrate Hanukkah.


In bed, Antiochus invites Matisyahu to a party: "there's going to be babes, food, chocolate stuff."  He agrees to go, but then Mattityahu, the priests whose refusal to sacrifice to the Greek gods started the rebellion, convinces him to rebel instead. (played by Alphonso McAuley.)

They skate through a forest of Christmas trees and rap:

You look so down, look so puzzled. 

 Huddle round your fire through all the rubble.

Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all


Antiochus captures them and puts them in a cage in Santa Claus suits, guarded by a Nutcracker. They escape and fight through a hockey game.  

No need to worry, no need to cry.

Light up your mind no longer be blind

Him who searches he'll find

Leave your problems behind

We will shine like a fire in the sky

What's the reason we're alive.

Finally Antiochus warms up to the idea of religious freedom, and they all hug and dance under a menorah.


No specifically gay content except men hugging and dancing together, but Matisyahu is a gay ally who performs for gay Orthodox Jewish audience. 


Bonus penises after the break






Alphonso as Hutch, Axl's best friend on The Middle




Obviously a prosthetic, but a  prosthetic dick is better than no dick at all















Carthage College.


















Jewish guy from West Hollywood






Haifa






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