RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: "Join Kelvin's God Squad": Recruitment video gives us the dirt on the muscle cult, with a lot of muscles and a dick or two

In Righteous Gemstones Season 2, Kelvin starts a God Squad, musclemen who perform strength-stunts "to serve the Lord." But their goals are far more complex: they want to establish a new society based on homoerotic desire, a cult of the penis that excludes not only "females," but emotional connections, romantic love, and family. The plan starts to go wrong almost immediately, due both to Kelvin's tyrannical leadership style and the difficulty of excluding romantic partnerships from the new world.

In universe, he posted a recruitment video, "Join Kelvin's God Squad." How clearly does it reveal the true purpose of the Squad?.

Shot 1: As Torsten (Brock O'Hurn) meditates, Kelvin asks "Are you looking for salvation?"

Flexing, he continues: "Salvation is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration." This contradicts the evangelical doctrine that salvation (from the wages of sin) is a gift; you don't have to work for it. But apparently here we're looking for salvation from something else.

Scene 2: A wide shot of the God Squad camp, followed by a close up of Cody's chest.

Kelvin: "I'm Kelvin Gemstone, and I'd like to share my love of Jesus Christ, and Jesus' love of a beautiful body." Beautiful, not strong. Objects of desire, not admiration.

Scene 3: The men work out with wooden barbells. One says: "I want to be a warrior for the Lord." Keefe: "You might be a perfect candidate for the God Squad."

Scene 4: The men climb a wooden ladder and sniff fresh vegetables. Kelvin: "Nature is the Lord's gym." Kelvin has a huge house, easily big enough for twelve men, but he wants to emphasize that he is the leader, structurally "above them." Plus nature represents the pre-Fall Eden, before Adam succumbed to the temptations of "the female."

Shot 5: Two guys grin at each other. Keefe: "We will welcome you into our workouts as if we were friends." Not a lot of friendships are forged in the God Squad camp. There is no pairing-off. The guys are atomized, each competing with the others.

Shot 6: Titus does chin-ups. Kelvin: "Use your body to get closer to the Lord." Because he's rising toward heaven. get it?

Shot 7: Keefe: "You will also learn to accept the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into your heart, and what happens when you accept him, Jericho? Do the tit thing."

Jericho flexes his nipples. Big deal -- any man with a moderate physique can do that. But apparently we need to know about Kelvin's interest in men's chests.

More muscles and maybe a hidden cock or two after the break

In a second video, Keefe, the actual trainer of the group, offers Christian-themed weight training (The dicks were my idea):

1. For miraculous deltoidus, cross-breakers-- barbell lifts

2. For the Highesty Holy, the obliques, , the weighted alms-giver

3. For killer lats, Corinthian dumbell row

4 For biceptus Christo, the Baptist curl -- curl with a barbell

Montage: Sparring; bench-pressing with a wooden barbell; throwing a ball; planting crops shirtless. Kelvin: "Friendship, brotherhood, transcendence, and a tight, tight bod. It's all waiting for you at the God Squad." You won't be getting a lot of friendship or brotherhood, but you will get transcendence (if transcendence means homoerotic sex) and a tight bod

Shot 8: Keefe: "Results may vary." Then onto the God Squad flag, with the proviso: "Women not allowed." Not only as members, but as friends and loved ones. This is a masculine space.

So you can see the God Squad nekkid through these links: