Previous: Episode 3.1: Kelvin collect cocks, the Simpkins smirk, and Dusty flirts. With a Brazilian boner bonusLeft: Alessandro Borghi.
The Book Signing: Eli is at a bookstore, signing copies of his "definitive autobiography" -- his third. Did you mention having a gay son? Suddenly May-May, who attacked his wife Aimee-Leigh back in 2000, hands him one of his earlier books: Y2K: When the World Goes Dark.
In 1999. many claimsmakers worried that computers were only set up for the 1900s, so on January 1, 2000, they would all reset. Bank accounts would empty; airplanes would fall from the sky; the world would descend into chaos. Some evangelists, like Eli Gemstone, made money by connecting the Y2K bug with end-time prophecies.
Eli is not happy to see his May-May -- he has a restraining order against her. But she needs his help. Wait -- you storm in and throw his old book at him to ask for help?
Later, Eli records the section of his autobiography about Y2K: when the world didn't end, he and Aimee-Leigh had to face anger and ridicule.
Marital Squabbles: A commercial: after a montage of heterosexual couples arguing and then being deliriously happy, Amber introduces her System (
stupid name): for $500, you get a jar and some beads.
Or go to Wal-Mart and buy the set-up for $10.
She doesn't explain how to use them, just "if your marriage is important to you," you need the System.
Cut to some marital problems. First, Judy's husband BJ is at the Gemstone Welcome Center, talking to a group of potential church members about how to get their tithes automatically deducted from their bank accounts. Judy, feeling guilty about withholding sex, brings him some gifts and tells him what a great husband he is, BJ thinks that things are a little off in their marriage, but Judy gaslights him: "Things are fine. Why are you being weird?" Check out his hot-pink ruffled outfit, part of the ongoing joke that couple is gender-transgressive, with Judy as the masculine partner, and BJ the feminine.
Next, Jesse drops Kelvin and Keefe's house. Keefe is melting down some weird phallic objects on the grill in the back yard. When he asks what they are burning, Kelvin, morosely lying on the diving board of the pool, responds "Devils' objects."
Why is he morose? The last we saw of him was at Dusty Daniels' racetrack. But this scene is coming directly after the Judy/BJ marital problem scene, and since the two relationships usually appear in tandum, we have to conclude that we just missed a "Things are fine. Why are you being so weird?" conversation.
There is a nude woman on the urn pedestal next to them. Apparently Kelvin and Keefe are too closeted for back yard sculptures with nude men.
Keefe is wearing a BDSM fetish outfit: several chokers, a slave collar with padlock, a vinyl top with built-in pecs and abs, and vinyl pants (I think). This again suggests that something has gone wrong. He wanted "cuddling," but Kelvin refused, ordering him to burn some sex toys instead -- destroy some penises?
Notice that while Kelvin and Jesse are discussing their anxiety over leading the church, Keefe grabs a toy to use for anal sex from the pile, tries to hide it, and brings it into the house.
Aha! Kelvin is specifically refusing to take the passive role in anal sex. The random butts in the illustrations demonstrate Keefe's main erotic interest.
Many gay men consider oral and other non-insertive acts trivial, used for recreation or to alleviate sexual tension. Even a straight guy will go down on a buddy to "help him out." But anal is "real sex," "going all the way." Kelvin is refusing "real sex." Why?
We cut to the reason Judy has been withholding sex with BJ: she is having an affair with her guitarist, Stephen (Stephen Schneider, below).
Trigger alert: they engage in a quasi-sexual act to disgusting to describe here.
Since the couples' stories are usually parallel, viewers may conclude that Kelvin, too, is having an affair. Actually, he is not -- yet. Then why is he withholding sex?
Unless you are asexual and work something out, romantic partners must balance eros and phileo. Eros, sexual desire, leads to that intimacy, intensity, and passion that keeps the couple focused on each other. Phileo, friendship, keeps the couple focused on the outside world, leading to discussions of art, music, or sports, placing them in a friendship group, a family, and a society.
Last season Kelvin tried to eliminating the phileo, being all about sex. Every word, every image evoked the homoerotic. His physique, butt, and bulge were constantly on display, presenting him as the Messiah of Muscle, leading his followers to a paradise of masculine beauty. Until it didn't work: you can't build a society, or a romantic relationship, on sex alone.
This season he seems to be eliminating the eros, withholding sex, or maybe permitting "fooling around" only -- no smut, no lust, no coconuts. We see no pecs, no butt, no bulge this season -- not until Episode 3.8, when he realizes that this won't work, either. The problem is, a romance without physical intimacy looks and feels very much like a platonic friendship, until eventually you wonder if you are really in love at all.
More Stephen after the break
