Fans suggest that I try Vice Principals (2016-2018), Danny McBride's earlier series about two high school vice principals scheming to take down their principal so they can take her job and enjoy all that fame, power, and wealth. Really? "Best show on television!" "Hilarious!" "McBride is a comedic genius!"
Other fans caution that it's homophobic, racist, and loaded-down with queerbaiting. Before the kiss canonized Kelvin and Keefe in the penultimate episode of Season 3, the "they can't be gay!" crowd often used this in their arguments: "McBride queerbaited before, so that's what he's doing now." '
Uh-oh. I'll watch an episode, just to track the queerbaiting.
One of my favorite aspects of Gemstones is the intricate plotting. You have to pay attention to every detail, re-watch, do screen captures. What book is Eli reading? Does that rattlesnake sound signify that the character is secretly evil? Hey, the BJ and Judy break-up is a precise parallel to the Kelvin-Keefe break-up. That line in Episode 4 is repeated in Episode 6, but has a different structural significance. I'm also interested in seeing if Vice Principals is similarly complex.
Anoother of my favorite aspects is its happy endings: every season finale wraps up all the plot threads (no cliffhangers). Every relationship has reconciled, every broken heart has been mended, and the ghost of the kids' mother Aimee-Leigh looks down approvingly. I wanted to see if Vice Principals has similar happy endings, so I watched the Season 1 finale.
Scene 1: Ganby (Danny McBride) and Lee (Walton Goggins) have lured Principal Brown into a night of drunken debauchery to discredit her. They leave her passed out in the bathtub of a sleazy hotel, then gather all the incriminating evidence and burn it, marveling at how beautiful it is.
Scene 2: Ganby is giving his daughter a horse named Charlemagne to make up for the loss of her motorcycle, named Shadowfax. She is angry, and ignores him.
Later he asks how she likes the horse. She still prefers the motorcycle. Besides, aren't horses expensive to keep up? Ganby tells her that he'll be principal soon, so money is irrelevant. Are principals really rich?
Scene 3: In the school cafeteria, the guys criticize Principal Brown for eating too much. They have a highlight reel of the footage they shot, which will destroy her forever, but Ganby isn't excited: he can't even remember his line, "End of the line, Slut!" He gazes at Amanda, the lady he was having an affair with, who is now ghosting him.
Scene 4: The guys lure Principal Brown in the woods by claiming that kids are sneaking out there to smoke marijuana. She tries to explain her "gin-soaked evening," but it's all a blur. "I'm glad you were there to help me," she continues. "I really appreciate it." Uh-oh, they're having second thoughts.
Ganby tries to say "End of the line, Slut," but can't. Lee steps in: "We have this here video of you acting all crazy." Not having sex with randos? "Your career is over! We won, bitch!"
He brags about some of the other things they did to her, like burn down her house, causing her to attack, punching and kicking them. If you've been waiting your whole life to see a middle-aged black lady and white man in a fist fight, your prayers have been answered. I find it a bit uncomfortable due to the overlay of institutional racism and patriarchy. She is a far superior fighter, if that helps.
Finally Lee blackmails her: step down as principal, or the video goes viral. Hey, isn't that a plot arc of the first season of Righteous Gemstones: give us a million dollars, or we'll post this video of your sex-and-drugs party?
Scene 5: As a final act, Lee threw Principal Brown's shoe away, so she has to walk down the rocky trail half-barefoot. She walks to her car in slow motion, gazes longingly at the school, and drives off.
Cut to Ganby watching his daughter ride her horse. Ray (Shea Whigham) drops by. Wikipedia says that he is the husband of Ganby's ex, whom Ganby hates even though he is a nice guy. So the daughter's stepfather?
They are happy that the daughter is "doing what she loves again," "out of death's way." Call back to an earlier crisis? Ray complains that, as stepfather, he'll always be second in the daughter's heart. (Ok, ok, I looked up her name: Janelle.) "I'm jealous. Whatever I do, she'll always love you more." They bond.
Scene 6: Ganby drives to the school, and sees that Principal Brown's car is not there. He asks around: no one has seen her since yesterday. Also, the Superintendent wants to set up a meeting with you.
Cut to the guys telling the faculty about her resignation: "We have no idea why. The woman had many dark secrets. It was probably substance abuse." They keep stacking it up, don't they?
Edie Patterson (Judy on The Righteous Gemstones) makes a ruckus, yelling at Amanda, woman who ghosted Ganby, for talking. She plays a Spanish teacher with a crush on him, so that makes sense. Ganby yells at her, too.
Scene 7: Out in the hallway, Amanda wants to know why Ganby singled her out, when everyone was talking. Because he hates you? She explains that she was turned off by how he handled Bill Haydn, and he counters that they aren't meant to be together anyway, because he's moving up in the ranks, and she's stuck as a lowly English teacher.
Scene 8: Ganby and Lee outside the South Carolina Public Schools building, congratulating each other for fulfilling their dream of principal superstardom. They assure each other that, whoever is selected, they will still be buds. They shake hands. No gay subtext here. but no queerbaiting, either.
Scene 9: The Superintendent wants to know how it is possible for two principals to leave in the same year. Plus the missing textbooks. So he wants them to serve as co-principals.
Wait -- I thought Principal Brown was going to be there, getting an evil vengeance. Or the Superintendent would blame the guys for everything that happened, and fire them. They get what they want? But they are awful people!
They leave in slow motion, hollering and hugging and kicking the air. Still no gay subtext.
Scene 10: Ganby goes home to a surprise party thrown by the ex-wife, daughter, and Ray, who made him a hunting knife in the shop. Chekhov's gun: somebody better use that knife in the next 10 minutes.
And, by the way, Ganby bought his daughter Janelle a new motorcycle.
Scene 11: Lee is home with his wife, waiting for the school website to be updated. There it is, the co-principals! He complains about the picture they used, but his wife tells him to "Be happy." Still waiting for some comeuppance, McBride. But then again, on RG, Peter kidnaps Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin, plans to kill them, and then plans to blow up the church, and he gets forgiven and reconciled just because he sacrificed himself to save the family.
Lee wants to know where his mother-in-law is, so he can rub her face in his victory. But she already knows: she went into her room to pout.
Scene 12: The co-principals raise the flag on their first day. Lee congratulates Ganby on being evil enough to get the job done, but Ganby counters that they both did evil shit. But they don't have a change of heart: they walk in slow motion through the school, enjoying the adulation. Did Lee just slap that boy on the butt?
In the cafeteria, the chef has prepared special pancakes for them.
Ganby gets the courage to talk to the ghost girl Amanda. He apologizes for treating her like shit and spreading rumors. They reconcile and kiss. Interesting: they discuss their relationship in work terms. Kelvin and Keefe do that all the time.
Emergency! Ganby is called to the parking lot: both their cars are on fire! Then they explode! Former Principal Brown walks up in a scary mask and shoots him twice. He lies on the pavement, dying. The end.
Beefcake: None. Not even on the internet. I had to dig to find Shea Whigham and Ryan Boz (who appears in only two episodes).
Homophobia/Queerbaiting: I didn't see any. No gay subtexts at all.
Intricate plotting: Not at all. Very straightforward. Set-ups that go nowhere. The lost shoe should have played a role in the resolution. That knife should have been used to stab Ganby.
All plot threads resolved: no, cliffhanger.
Happy ending: Two reconciliations, I think, but definitely not a happy ending, with the main character dying.
